Penelope and I met many years ago. I went for a carton of milk and there she was, an albino pig, in a grocery store. She was in a dangerous situation – it was only time before she ended up on the meat aisle. (OIY VEY) So for $9 I took her home with the milk.
I gave her a bit of color and a bow and she went to live in my therapy office.
Very few clients ever commented on her. I always suspected new clients didn’t quite know what to say and my long-term clients knew me well enough that they didn’t need to say anything.
Penelope retired the same time as Freddie Parker but she still has a lot of good advice:
How to Live Life to the Fullest
by Penelope the Pig, CPT*, RET
EAT greedily all the delectable things life gives you.
WALLOW in what’s soothing & cool.
SNORT at those who are not loving.
CELEBRATE how delicious you are.
PRAY you will not be eaten before your time.
PIG OUT on LOVE
*CPT, Certified Porcine Therapist
The Blue Max is why I took up boogie-boarding at age 50. Let me explain . . .
My mom Helen wanted a “flying belt” since she was a kid. When she turned 50 she figured the closest she would get was hot air ballooning. So when she and her husband Andy were offered a ride in a hot air balloon there was no hesitation.
They loved the experience and as soon as the balloon landed, Mom announced, “I want one”. Her “flying belt” balloon was blue and white and she named it The Blue Max.
However, there’s more than just strapping on a flying belt to piloting a balloon. Mom had to get a balloon piloting license which she couldn’t pass because her right arm was too weak to pull the rip cord. (She had had a mastectomy for cancer), Andy became the pilot.
The family ballooning soon ballooned. My sister Sally, her husband and their son all took up hot air ballooning, and became pilots. Mom’s 2 great grandsons are now learning how to fly. Sally named their first balloon (she is on her 3rd or 4th) after mom. She called it “Helen’s Fault”.
In the family tradition, to celebrate my 50th birthday I thought I should do something “equally” as adventurous . . . I took up boogie-boarding.
Mom is 98, no longer balloons, but knowing her when she hits 100 I have to wonder what she will take up then . . . and if I will feel that I should follow suit . . . in some way.
When I was in grade school we did “duck ‘n cover” drills. Ducking under a desk and covering your head was suppose to protect us from an atomic bomb drop. It was the height of the cold war between the United States and Russia.
I lived in Phoenix Arizona which was a small (by today’s standards) city surrounded by miles and miles of uninhabitable dessert where many alien spacecraft had been observed.
I prayed that the aliens would land and the entire world would then, out of necessity, come together in solidarity to protect the planet.
Alien Baby, by judy – acrylic on cardboard box
“Weird space object ‘Oumuamua’ was not an alien spacecraft after all, scientists say. The 1/4-mile long rock was first spotted in October 2017 by astronomers peering through a telescope atop Mount Haleakala in Maui, Hawaii. In the weeks after that, other ground-based telescopes around the world and space-based telescopes in orbit continued to monitor Oumuamua (Hawaiian for “scout” or “messenger”) as it zipped through the solar system at about 85,700 mph.”
There was also wild speculation that it came from an alien civilization.
“After a fairly exhaustive search, scientists couldn’t find any artificial radio signals coming from the interstellar objet known as Oumuamua.”
“The alien spacecraft hypothesis is a fun idea, but our analysis suggests there is a whole host of natural phenomena that could explain it,” said Matthew Knight, the study lead author from the University of Maryland, in a news release.
‘”While Oumuamua’s interstellar origin makes it unique, many of its other properties are perfectly consistent with objects in our own solar system,” said study co-author Robert Jedicke of the University of Hawaii. In fact, Oumuamua’s orbit, its path through our solar system, matches a prediction published in a scientific journal by Jedicke and his colleagues six months before Oumuamua’s discovery.”
One theory is that the object could have been ejected by a gas giant planet orbiting another star.
“Even though we know it’s a natural phenomenon, “we have never seen anything like Oumuamua in our solar system,” Knight said. “It’s really a mystery still,” he said.”
Decades later “duck ‘n cover” has been replaced by “lock down drills” for shooters. The aliens are still waiting for us to figure out how to come together without their help.
The new study was published in the peer-reviewed British journal Nature Astronomy.