Anger Collage

After I was first diagnosed I did a series of collages, paintings, drawings, poems that I presented at the National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day in 2009.  It was the first time I shared these pictures and I felt a bit exposed and vulnerable.  But the presentation was so well received – many people came up to me afterwards to say that my pictures expressed what they felt having fibromyalgia – that I’ve since given the presentation in my own office.

When I first did this collage I was simply concentrating on the colors and shapes.  After it was done I realized how angry I was.  To this day it unnerves me to look at it.  The male body underneath the large face was pasted there because at the time I thought it humorous.  I now realize that it represents the fibro that disconnects my head and body.  It has energy and power and all I can do is be still and be furious.

I’m still not sure why the yellow paper over the nose.  The large head sees but doesn’t speak.  The small head speaks but doesn’t see.

As I write this I realize that the “Seeing and not speaking” and “speaking but not seeing” is also a theme on my journal cover I did.

Jan 1, 2010 I posted this journal cover  (Max Snacks).  The front face has glitter on her lips — she speaks and the back face (my unconscious) has glitter on her eye — she sees.
It is interesting to me that here’s a variation on the same theme — minus the anger, thank goodness! — over a decade later.

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