What to Send Man’s Best Friend for Valentine’s Day

I wrote this column for my Max-E-zine 5 years ago!  Would you believe – nothing has changed. Things never change with my Humans.  They just are more and more untrainable the older they get.  Maybe it’s not too late for YOU to learn how to treat your best friend:

What’s in a Name, By Max

“My human asked me to write a special column for Valentines Day.  Is that chutzbah or what!  Valentine’s day is NOT for dogs.

First everyone, but ME, gets to eat chocolate.  My Human says that if I eat chocolate I’ll die.  I think she is lying so she can eat it all, which she does.

Second, everyone, but ME, gets flowers.  So  I  go out into the yard and eat as many flowers as I can.  They don’t taste as good as lawn grass.  I love it freshly mowed.   But don’t  send me flowers or grass on Valentines’ day.  Send dog cookies, they don’t wilt.

Third everyone, but ME, gets valentine cards.  I like to eat cards but I prefer the envelopes which are seasoned with paste. You can send me cards with envelopes.

I love YOU

Ok, ok you are wondering why I titled this What’s in a Name.  Well, it is STILL happening even tho my humans have been in training for over a decade.

My name is Max right!  Of course you know that. EVERYONE knows that. This blog is called CreativitytotheMAX,the blog, my web-sites are called HypnosistotheMAX and CreativitytotheMAX. Well, my humans STILL are calling me Sweetie Dog, Honey (can you believe how emasculating that is), Maxie, Good Dog and Sweetie Boy.  The only time I’m called Max is when my humans are upset over nothing –  Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ‘AAAAX

Even though I ‘m an excellent trainer they still insist on those embarrassing names.  So I show them.  When I’m called to come inside I take my tiiiiii ‘iiime.  Drives them crazy.

May your valentines day be filled with licks of love and please call your Sweetie a name that isn’t humiliating.

Lickingly yours, LLLLLLLLLLLL

MAX

P.S.  Address your valentine cards with envelopes and dog cookies to Max Westerfield c/o Sweetie Girl Judy,

4 comments on “What to Send Man’s Best Friend for Valentine’s Day

    • My Best Friend Rhea,
      You’re the WOMAN! Yum
      LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (getting in practice for the paste)LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
      MaxLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL (I’m ready)

      Like

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