Would I Make an Appointment with Myself?

I am a bit at a loss for words.  Those who know me will find that almost incomprehensible.

just read an excellent post on Phylor’s blog


You need to read it in its entirety.

It made me stop and think. She wrote about how easy it was for therapists to tell her what to do without really knowing who she was or her circumstances.

Over the years I’ve thought about seeing a therapist to talk to about my struggles with fibromyalgia.   As both a patient  and a psychotherapist Phylor’s post made me wonder if I would see me as a therapist.

I’m stubborn (NO! you are thinking . .), am more of a leader than follower (learning to take the back seat).  I have strong opinions and some have hinted I’m not very patient (which I vehemently deny !).

I know that I have changed in the 25 years I’ve been in practice . . .  . . . . .For the best?

My training was psychodynamic –  finding insight into the  unconscious which is to lead to life changes.  The bulk of the training was to erase my own personality,  listen and help the client find their own answers.  This sometime taking years and years with no discernible changes – just lots of insight and money (unless you have insurance . . .)

Insight without action is meaningless.  Now I lean toward what is called a Cognitive-Behavioral approach. I still find lots of value in unconscious meaning and motivation but  I frequently offer clients “options, actions and possibilities” and often hear myself saying to them “It’s very easy for me to say and not so easy to do.”

There is a fine line between having “answers” and empowering people to take right action – whatever “right” might be for them.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of clients later I know all I really can offer is being witness to their, hurt, confusion & pain, with patience, love and a few behavioral options..

Guess I found some words.

Now to find a therapist that’s right for me.  Easier to say than do.

6 comments on “Would I Make an Appointment with Myself?

  1. Judy, although I have not had therapy with you, as your friend I can tell you that you are one of the ‘good ones’. I always say, it is not about our agenda as a therapist, but about our client’s agenda. Love Laurie


    • Laurie M,
      Are your SURE, are your absolutely sure you’re not having therapy with me right now . . . .?
      XXXXXX J.
      Back at you – You are one of the good ones as is the testimony of your many many clients.


  2. I read the blog and I’ve read yours. I would absolutely make an appointment with you. You have a passion for what you do and it shines through with every word you write. You are a jewel!!


  3. Just to let you know, I WOULD consider seeing you as a therapist! If we didn’t leave coasts apart, I would already have booked an appointment, and attended your workshops! You are the type of therapist who GETS IT.

    The post was generated by the most recent PFAM blog carnival “easy for you to say; hard for me to do.” I thought about how even folks who SHOULD know how hard the task is/will be, present it as an easy solution.
    The second therapist bothered me the most: she had listened to the issues with my mom, the reasons why there were issues (mom’s mental health), but could still say “Just tell her she has to listen to you.” I’d been telling the therapist for weeks that I’ve been saying that to mom for years to no avail.

    That’s why I’m therapy-shy; just like I’m specialist-shy. Bad experiences tend to make you leary of the profession — even when you know there are good folks out there. One of my real world friends is a therapist, and she completely gets it, like you do!


    • Phylor,
      No need to explain. I was aware that the post was from the PFAM blog carnival. I find a lot of what you write very thought provoking and this last one was no exception!

      AND people SHOULD be wary. Many, if not most, of us therapists go into the profession to understand and “heal” our own wounds.

      I was fortunate in that I did a lot of therapy with an excellent therapist and how he helped me make incredible differences in my life BEFORE I changed professions and become a therapist. I am biased that no one should become a therapist until they’ve been “therapized”!

      Thank you for the lovely words. You brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.
      with love,


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