Max says: “Even if this is Long, Read it”. I add: “Would You, Please”

If someone followed me around and recorded how I gave instructions to others as was done in a study of  men CEO”S and women CEO’s my communication would be typically female.

Men would say to their secretaries:  “File this”, “Get George on the phone”, I’m going to lunch”.  Women CEO’s would say “Would you please file this”,  “I’d like to speak to George” “Just want to let you know I’m going to lunch now.”

I suspect that if I or the women CEO’s spoke like the male CEO’s we would be perceived as a b _ _ _ _.

If the Males spoke like the women the men would be perceived as a “softy” or “not decisive”.

Language certainly can create our perception of our world AND how we are perceived.

My fellow (is there a feminine version  – “fella”) workshop facilitator and Hypnotherapist par excellence Laurie Miller www.hypnosisconcepts.com posted a list that was written sometime in the 1960′s by George Hasslein, FAIA Professor & Founding Dean, School of Architecture and Environmental Design, Cal Pol, San Luis Obispo,

How does this relate to men and women’s communication?   After I copied and pasted, getting ready to post, I was uncomfortable.   Something  didn’t feel right.

Kept rereading and rereading trying to figure out why I was uncomfortable.  I agreed with Dr Hasslein’s premise and found it inspiring enough to post.  I decided to edit and realized my communication as a woman considerably softened the impact.

Dr. Hasslein’s original is in blue, my edit is in pink. How would you say it?

  • People are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered.

Some people are unreasonable, illogical, self-centered.

Love them anyway.


  • If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish motives.

If you do good, you might be accused  of selfish motives.

Do good anyway.


  • If you are successful, you will win false friends and real enemies.

If you are successful, you could win false friends and real enemies.

Try to be successful anyway.


  • The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow.

You may not get credit for the good you do.

Do it anyway.


  • Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable

Honesty and frankness can make you vulnerable

Be honest and frank anyway.


  • People favor the underdog, but they chum up to the top dog.

Most people favor the underdog, but they chum up to the top dog.

Fight for the underdog anyway.


  • What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight.

What you spend years building can be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.


  • Give the world the best you have and chances are you will get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have and  you might not get the best back.

Give anyway.

“Please”


7 comments on “Max says: “Even if this is Long, Read it”. I add: “Would You, Please”

  1. Excellant food for thought. I agree that there is a happy medium. It’s amazing what a touch of kindness & appreciation does for another. I will Not Apologize for being nice, for thinking of others or for being strong & decisive when necessary. I believe there is room for it all @ the appropriate time. Let’s be our own person, just Human ~ ♥

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  2. LONG, long ago when I had someone working for me (and now I shiver thinking about it), I remember asking her to “do me a favor….and copy this.” That’s really bad. A man would NEVER do that. Great blog post! Laurie F.

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    • Laurie F.
      I too did exactly the same thing with secretaries I had when I was an administrator. I tended to be very “friendly” whereas my male counterparts were “all business” and got much more respect. I never could figure it out — thinking that the “kinder” I was the better the relationship. I was right in the sense that my secretaries liked me but I was taken advantage of as far as business side of things went.
      There should be a happy medium . . . .

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  3. Interesting twist. I also wonder if it felt wrong because it was written in the 60’s!! I like the women’s version! Love Laurie

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  4. I prefer it your way.
    Not all males behave in the so-called male way described. Though it can be irritating when leaders make so much effort to be non-bossy, their intentions are not clear.

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    • Paul, Checked out your blog — very interesting. I need to spend more time tho
      No, not all males behave in the way the CEO’s gave directions. It is very interesting to me tho that in general men are much more direct — usually they say what they mean and we females try to read into it. And usually what we read in is the “coulds, woulds” instead of the “can and will”. I do think that women could be much more direct. Notice I didn’t say SHOULD!!!!

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