Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures

For those of you new to my blog (er, Max’s blog) I have an “affliction” due to alien possession.  It’s called fibromyalgia.  Fibromyalgia is a misnomer dating back to ancient times when the medical establishment liked to name things with Greek roots because it sounds more scientific.  The rest of you who know my whole weary tale can skip down to the red print.

My main symptoms of this central nervous system disorder are depression, allodynia a good Greek name for whole body pain, mental fog (where are the Greeks when they are really needed – FOG is a soft, floaty description for mental muddle, mental muck) and exhaustion.  There are many other symptom since the central nervous system impacts every system.   I’ve been one of the lucky ones where the aliens decided to lay heavy on the depression and exhaustion and go light on the fog and pain.

I’ve been blessed that my symptoms have been helped for several years – not eliminated – through the miracles of modern meds. That was  until I had to go off (that’s an interesting image) my miracle drug Mirapex because one of the side effects was narcolepsy (another Greek name).  Unfortunately, I was awake enough of the time to indulge in another side effect – compulsivity.  I ate obsessively, compulsively like an addict.  Again I was blessed that I stopped the drug before it led to compulsive gambling and sex – I kid you not!

Which brings me to the present.   The good news is I no longer fall asleep at stop lights or brushing my teeth.The bad news is I’m EXHAUSTED.  pooped-out-of-my-mind.  In the morning I wake up exhausted after sleeping 10 hours.  So after a few hours I take a 2 hour nap.  It’s almost impossible to describe being exhausted without doing anything that is exhausting.   I’m NOT TIRED, mind you.  Exhausted.

I’ve stopped exercising as the thought of it exhausts me more.  I’ve reverted to self medicating myself with anything that contains refined sugar and/or white flour searching for an energy pick me up.  I stare out into space thinking of all the things I should be doing, need & want to be doing and get more exhausted thinking about how I will feel exhausted doing them.

My in-basket has now grown to over 300 e-mails not attended to.  I forget to call back clients who are forgiving and wonderful as always.  I avoid calling friends, not wanting to recount the exhausting litany of reasons why I’ve not called nor responded to them.  I don’t walk Max who patiently waits for permission to walk himself.

I woke up this morning, exhausted as usual, and said to myself. “Judy, this now calls for desperate measures.”

However, I’m too exhausted after writing all this so I’ll tell you what my desperate measures are tomorrow.  I’m going to lay down now and get in another nap before it’s time for bed.

7 thoughts on “Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your experience so freely. Reading it got me all teary (but as you probably know, crying can be so exhausting, and I have so little energy points to begint with). I feel so much less alone, you described the exhaustion experience so well. My cat is used to me screaming now, because it is so frustrating waking up exhausted and trying to put together breakfast and feeling like you need to lay on the floor and rest every 10 minutes! And knowing that the rest of the day, and probably tomorrow, you are going to feel like this. My pain makes it difficult to lay down for very long, so it’s a game of who’s bothering me the most, my pain or my exhaustion. Thank you so much for voicing your situation, it’s good to know that someone else truly understands. I call my condition FDD ( the F-ing Denise Dis-ease!).

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    1. Denise,
      Rename your condition! – give it it’s own identity apart from you – FDD = The F-ing Dastardly Dis-ease, The F-ing Damn Dis-ease, The F-ing Ding-a-ling Dis-ease . . . .
      We are more than our condition.
      I’m so appreciative that you took the time to comment.
      j

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  2. I understand. I’m also your neighbor in the pit. Thank goodness we all understand what this illness does. I’m in hiding too but thinking of you!

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  3. Dear Judy,
    So, so sorry to hear you are going through such a rough patch. Hope you can find
    some Alternative for your Fibro. Pharma has so many side effects. I’m glad you
    were able to write this post.
    Love you, take care.
    xo

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  4. I coudl actually read ALL of your blog! The computer gods have smiled on my laptop, or the gremlins have taken a hike!
    I can relate the the depression, refined sugar, and staring out the window. I hope that your desperate measures help! (I could use some myself!)
    Give yoursel and Max a big hug from me (((((hug))))).
    Wishing you all the best

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  5. Now I’m totally depressed with you and NOT because of you but I can’t lie, that’s part of it, dear friend. I miss my dog, I have no meaning in my life, my kids don’t need me and I just wrote an unpublished post called “Invisible.” I’ve been sleeping more but that’s just escape for me, a treat rather than a punishment. If Tallelulah is staying AWAY and Max is by your side just asking for a treat, you are doing ok. I’m sure it took courage to write that post. If you need anything, to talk or write or encouragement, I’m here.. We all go through rough patches, I’m sure yours will pass soon like the moments of sunlight drifting through the day. Take care Judy/Judith and know I am thinking of you. Laurie F.

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Wadda ya say? Comments HERE! (Depending on energy, I may not be able to respond to every comment but I READ every word of every comment!)

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