Had a conversation with a friend about judgement. My friend thought it wrong to judge others until you really got to know them. She knows I’m guilty of judging people rather quickly. Yes, sometimes my initial judgment is wrong. But he older I get the more my initial judgment proves to be right . . . at least right from my criteria and perspective.
I’m judgmental and I like it that way. I judge people, animals, right from wrong, hot from cold, good from bad.
As a therapist I was trained not to judge, just accept people for who they are and help them become more aware and make their life better. Never blame the victim. Empathize with those who stuck. Listen, listen, listen and help clients find their own solutions.
One of my earliest lessons in judgement involved a woman who saw me after she was raped in the park by a man she picked up at a bar because she wanted to get pregnant and have a baby. After dealing with the trauma I tried to help her learn to judge when it’s safe and when it’s not. She left me for another therapist who listened more.
Another lesson in judgement was a beautiful young woman who was a wealthy man’s mistress. She would come into the community clinic where I was interning, pay her $5 fee, wearing real diamonds, after having returned from Europe or South America or Fiji or some other exotic destination. . . . .complaining about her life. You bet I judged. What was she doing with her life that would be a good model for her 3 children? She liked me but she liked her current life style more.
I judged when a couple came to see me because they had horrific fights whenever they had alcohol to drink. I told them to stop drinking. They fired me.
I judge myself too. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don’t. It’s just hard to fire me.
#152 – VITAL
Judgement is vital
for the spring to know it’s fall
letting go of leaves
Vitality of judgment
Comes with each season