Memories Lost and Found

l60699-coca-cola-bottle-18609As a therapist  I know a lot about memories. In some ways you could say my bread and butter is helping people move past, untangle and reframe painful memories.

I know that memory is tricky, a slippery slope of bits and pieces of information that we think is a whole truth.  And know that we each often remember the very same incident differently with unique meanings, feelings and implications.

Yesterday, Rick Clarke (my first 7th grade crush) sent me an e-mail that he had just attended a memorial service for a high school classmate, Bob Blakey

The information hit me in the gut and sadness washed over me.  I had forgotten Bob.

Rick’s e-mail instantly triggered a memory from my 40th  high school reunion where Bob approached me. I didn’t recognize him. He saw me squinting at his name tag and said to me,  “Bob! BOB!, remember I spilled coke all over you after the dance?!!!” I hadn’t remembered . . . until that moment.

I flashed on the scene after the dance sitting at Googies, a local coffee shop that served hot Unknownfudge banana royals and Bob spilling his coke all over my splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats.

I don’t remember if I asked Bob or he asked me to the dance. I don’t remember the dance. I  know it must have been a BIG important dance – like a junior-senior prom – because I wore the splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats.

But Bob remembered, remembered me, remembered my splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats, remembered knocking over his coke.  He remembered my mortification even though I didn’t remember being mortified.  

Tonight I’ll drink a coke in remembrance.  Here’s to you Bob.

13 comments on “Memories Lost and Found

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  8. Hi Judy,
    Judy Moorman Berres forwarded your your tribute to Bob. It brought back so many wonderful memories.My older brother passed away last week and that, too, brought back so many memories.
    I was at the 50th reunion and somehow ended up on the ginormous e-mail list of grads.. Loved receiving the letters from you and Freddie, but I changed e-mail addresses and was no longer on that ginormorous list.
    Forgot all about Googies, but the mention of those sundaes made me salivate!
    I’ll have a Coke to Bob,
    Jean Dennis Lay


    • Jean,
      First of all, my heart goes out to you in the death of your brother.
      I changed your e-mail address on my contacts (and deleted it from this comment as I don’t know if you want it public).
      So glad you took your time to send a comment. It’s really nice at this end of the computer to know there are other people on the other end.
      with love,


  9. Judy, you are such a great writer. This a special memory of Bob. I’ll never have a coke again without thinking of you, him and Camelback. Thank you!


    • Anonymous,
      I usually “trash” anonymous comments after approving one which led to multiple solicitations for viagra and other “personal” services. I will make an exception in your case as you didn’t include a marketing URL AND it’s always nice to get such a compliment! Thank you.


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