As a therapist I know a lot about memories. In some ways you could say my bread and butter is helping people move past, untangle and reframe painful memories.
I know that memory is tricky, a slippery slope of bits and pieces of information that we think is a whole truth. And I know that we each often remember the very same incident differently with unique meanings, feelings and implications.
Yesterday, Rick Clarke (my first 7th grade crush) sent me an e-mail that he had just attended a memorial service for a high school classmate, Bob Blakey
The information hit me in the gut and sadness washed over me. I had forgotten Bob.
Rick’s e-mail instantly triggered a memory from my 40th high school reunion where Bob approached me. I didn’t recognize him. He saw me squinting at his name tag and said to me, “Bob! BOB!, remember I spilled coke all over you after the dance?!!!” I hadn’t remembered . . . until that moment.
I flashed on the scene after the dance sitting at Googies, a local coffee shop that served hot 
fudge banana royals and Bob spilling his coke all over my splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats.
I don’t remember if I asked Bob or he asked me to the dance. I don’t remember the dance. I know it must have been a BIG important dance – like a junior-senior prom – because I wore the splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats.
But Bob remembered, remembered me, remembered my splendiferously gorgeous peacock-blue taffeta gown with lots of petticoats, remembered knocking over his coke. He remembered my mortification even though I didn’t remember being mortified.
Tonight I’ll drink a coke in remembrance. Here’s to you Bob.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/25/prompt-moments-to-remember/
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Hi Judy,
Judy Moorman Berres forwarded your your tribute to Bob. It brought back so many wonderful memories.My older brother passed away last week and that, too, brought back so many memories.
I was at the 50th reunion and somehow ended up on the ginormous e-mail list of grads.. Loved receiving the letters from you and Freddie, but I changed e-mail addresses and was no longer on that ginormorous list.
Forgot all about Googies, but the mention of those sundaes made me salivate!
I’ll have a Coke to Bob,
Jean Dennis Lay
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Jean,
First of all, my heart goes out to you in the death of your brother.
I changed your e-mail address on my contacts (and deleted it from this comment as I don’t know if you want it public).
So glad you took your time to send a comment. It’s really nice at this end of the computer to know there are other people on the other end.
with love,
judy
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Judy, you are such a great writer. This a special memory of Bob. I’ll never have a coke again without thinking of you, him and Camelback. Thank you!
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Anonymous,
I usually “trash” anonymous comments after approving one which led to multiple solicitations for viagra and other “personal” services. I will make an exception in your case as you didn’t include a marketing URL AND it’s always nice to get such a compliment! Thank you.
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Awww. Sad. Thanks for the memory. Here’s to Bob and your splendiferous petticoats. Let us be thankful for each and every day. Love, Laurie
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Yes! A coke is in order. Here’s to you, Bob!
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