Our next fairy tale is Little Red Riding Hood.
Warning! Do NOT read the original. It’s filled with violence and death. Here’s the real version:
The Untold Story of Little Red Riding Hood
by Freddie Parker Westerfield
Once upon a time in a land far away lived a little orphan wolf. How he became an orphan is not known, the records being lost long ago in the archives of the forest. All the tales simply begin: Once upon a time, in a land far away lived a little orphan wolf.
Never having been around others of his own kind he didn’t know what big teeth he had. He didn’t know what big eyes he had. He didn’t know what a bushy tail he had. He didn’t know how hairy he was. He didn’t know how scary he was. All he knew was that he was alone in a big, big forest filled with creatures that ran away as soon as he approached.
Day by day, so the birds wouldn’t fly away, he sat far, far below the tree tops listening to them sing to each other from high above.
He watched from far, far away the forest creatures playing so they wouldn’t leap out of his sight.
He snuck peaks at all the critters sharing their meals from behind the bush so they wouldn’t know he was there.
Every morn he dined out for breakfast, alone. Every eve he dined out for super, alone. Every night he settled down to sleep, alone.
One day the little orphan wolf decided to set out from his forest home to find someone, somewhere to be his friend.
Along the way he came upon a little girl. She had a little curl and wore a red cape and hood. Why she wore a red cape and hood is not known, the records being lost long ago in the archives of the forest.
Because she was so young she didn’t know how scary the orphan wolf was and asked.
“Where are you going Mr. Wolf”?
“I’m off to find a friend so that I am not alone. I’m off to find a friend to dine with. I am looking for a friend to play with and most of all I want a friend to talk with. I am very lonely.”
The little girl, feeling sorry for the little orphan wolf said,“Do come with me to Grandma’s house. She makes delicious muffins from berries I pick in the forest. She sits at the table and listens to me talk. Grandma loves all of God’s creatures. Although she can’t be your grandma, perhaps she can be your friend”
“I don’t know what a Grandma is,” replied the little orphan wolf, “but she sounds exactly like the friend I’m looking for.”
And so the little orphan wolf set off with the little girl with a curl, wearing a red cape and hood to Grandma’s house.
They passed by a giant berry bush. “Stop here to pick berries for the delicious muffins Grandma will make.” They picked bushels of berries and carried them in the little girls red cape and hood.
They passed by a field of flowers. “Stop here to pick flowers for Grandma to put on her table where we sit and she listens to me talk.” They picked bouquets of flowers and carried them in the little girls red cape and hood.
They passed a bubbling brook where cool waters ran. “Stop here for a drink to refresh ourselves after all our work picking berries and flowers.” They drank from the bubbling brook and rested on the little girl’s red cape and hood so as not to get dirty.
As they passed over the crest of a hill the little girl cried, “There’s Grandma’s house. Let’s see if she will be your friend.”
Grandma greeted the little girl, the little orphan wolf peeking out from behind not sure what a grandma was, with a big smile, the biggest smile the little orphan wolf had ever seen.
The little girl announced, “Grandma, I’ve brought you berries so you can make delicious muffins. I’ve brought you flowers to put on the table where we sit and you listen to me talk. I’ve brought you a little orphan wolf who is lonely and looking for a friend”
Now the little orphan wolf’s eyes grew big, having never seen a Grandma before. Not knowing what to do he opened his big mouth, showed his big teeth and wagged his bushy tail.
“My! What big teeth you have”, gasped grandma. “The better to protect you with” replied the wolf.
“My! What big eyes you have”, marveled Grandma. “The better to lovingly look up at you.”, replied the wolf. “
“My! What a bushy tail you have”, exclaimed Grandma. “The better to wag with happiness,” replied the wolf.
“My! How hairy you are”, said Grandma. “The Better to cuddle and keep you warm,” said the wolf.
“My oh my”, Grandma sighed. “You may stay with me. I’ll feed you delicious muffin treats, and you can sit and listen to me while I talk”.
“And because you are one of God’s creatures I will call you Dog.”
Where upon he looked up at Grandma with big eyes, opened his big wolf mouth, showed his big wolf teeth, wagged his bushy wolf tail, stuck out his wet wolf tongue and gave Grandma an appreciative lick.
He had found his friend.