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Dec272014
Frankly Freddie – My Human’s New Career
I don’t want my human to get bored and complacentnow that she’s retiring. She could do half-time shows – she’s too old for full-time shows. I’m interviewing canines who could train her.
12 comments on “Frankly Freddie – My Human’s New Career”
I’m not certain my dogs could teach me to do that, and pretty certain I’d run out of breath and energy long before getting through a similar performance.
Dear Freddie, Don’t worry so much about your human. She will find her way. It just takes a little time of adjustment. Don’t stress over it yourself. She will be just fine. Don’t worry. Please tell her Lexi does anything….for treats and food as does her human.
I have known your Human for a long time, and the only way you are going to get this Human to take directions is to make the frisbee out of chocolate. But then again, I seriously doubt your success with this Human if the goal is to have this Human return the frisbee…
Dear Jan, human-being,
It seems you have known my Human for a long time . . . she is a bit unruly when it comes to chocolate . . . I’ve trained her to share almost everything except chocolate and grapes. She makes up lame excuses like they’re not good for me.
Dear Freddie,
Since you are a dog, it is true that chocolate is not good for you. But even though your Human is not a dog, you need to remind your Human that chocolate is also not good for her!!!
Jan, a human-being
Yes, I am aware that some Humans can be overly opinionated.
However, don’t give up too quickly. Exercise is an excellent source of serotonin. And when you train your Human to catch the frisbee, she will run, jump and tumble which will instantly increase her serotonin level.
Of course, your Human will complain frequently, so be sure and reward her progress with lots of chocolate! But only after she has had a sufficient period of physical exercise.
After all, as the Trainer Extraordinaire, your pride and reputation is at stake in being able to successfully train your Human.
CURIOUS to the MAX 
I’m not certain my dogs could teach me to do that, and pretty certain I’d run out of breath and energy long before getting through a similar performance.
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Rick,
I got out of breath watching the video
j.
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Dear Freddie, Don’t worry so much about your human. She will find her way. It just takes a little time of adjustment. Don’t stress over it yourself. She will be just fine. Don’t worry. Please tell her Lexi does anything….for treats and food as does her human.
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Dear Hiber-Laurie, Human-being,
I told her what you said. She asked “ANYTHING?” with a gleam in her eye. Maybe we all should be worried . . .
Freddie Parker
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I LOVE THIS!!!! Ok, Freddie…..Buster might apply but he doesn’t follow direction very well.
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Dear Rosemary Lee, Human-being,
Tell Buster that he doesn’t need to follow directions – his job will be to GIVE my human-being directions.
Freddie Parker
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Dear Freddie,
I have known your Human for a long time, and the only way you are going to get this Human to take directions is to make the frisbee out of chocolate. But then again, I seriously doubt your success with this Human if the goal is to have this Human return the frisbee…
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Dear Jan, human-being,
It seems you have known my Human for a long time . . . she is a bit unruly when it comes to chocolate . . . I’ve trained her to share almost everything except chocolate and grapes. She makes up lame excuses like they’re not good for me.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Trainer Extraordinaire
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Dear Freddie,
Since you are a dog, it is true that chocolate is not good for you. But even though your Human is not a dog, you need to remind your Human that chocolate is also not good for her!!!
Jan, a human-being
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Dear Jan, Human-being
My human said chocolate raises her serotonin levels. She’s very opinionated when it comes to chocolate.
Freddie Parker, Canine-dog
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Dear Freddie,
Yes, I am aware that some Humans can be overly opinionated.
However, don’t give up too quickly. Exercise is an excellent source of serotonin. And when you train your Human to catch the frisbee, she will run, jump and tumble which will instantly increase her serotonin level.
Of course, your Human will complain frequently, so be sure and reward her progress with lots of chocolate! But only after she has had a sufficient period of physical exercise.
After all, as the Trainer Extraordinaire, your pride and reputation is at stake in being able to successfully train your Human.
Jan, Human-being
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Dear Jan, Human-being.
You would make an excellent trainer of humans. You should consider a career change.
Sincerely, Freddie P.
I’d offer you a position on my staff but I’m currently not hiring.
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