Seventy years ago I emerged from the womb – my mother’s to be precise. If that isn’t lucky I don’t know what is.
As you know, I had decided to celebrate my Birthday Season for 70 days in advance this year. However, it didn’t work out as I had planned because no one followed rule #3. So I am giving you another chance. Starting today I will continue to celebrate for another 70 days.
Please review the rules so you understand what your part is.
Here are The Birthday Season* Official Rules that start again today:
- Beginning on the day of your birth your season lasts the number of days you are old. You may start your Birthday Season before the day of your birth. But you cannot exceed the number of days you are old. Consequently, every year your Birthday Season is one day longer. With me so far?
- You are to celebrate your birth the entire season by choosing whatever you wish to do, or NOT do, each day. So far so good!
- People give you presents the entire season. SO GOOD, so far!
- You must be over 50 to qualify for Birthday Season status. (Over 50 you need more time to celebrate because it takes you longer.)
- Those who are under the age of 50 can celebrate a Birthday Season as long as they don’t tell anyone or demand presents. (Gargle thoroughly after breakfast to eliminate tell-tale “Birthday Season Breath”.
- You must eat doughnuts everyday for breakfast during your season. (If you don’t like doughnuts you can choose anything you want as long as it isn’t healthy).
- Every day of your season you must be grateful for being born and still being alive. (After your Birthday Season is over you can revert to moaning about your age).
*For those of you who don’t know how “The Birthday Season” came into being here’s the link My Birthday Season or you can have your donut and eat it too.