Only 15 days till Chanukah! 15 days till Christmas! 22 days till New Year’s! Time for my yearly reminder on how to keep sane.
Christmas:
- Instead of buying a tree watch your friends decorate (and take down) theirs
- Convert to Judaism
- Sit in the lobby of a 5-star hotel and enjoy EXPENSIVE decorations.
- ADOPT a pig, instead of eating one.
- Make dinner potluck, you supply the paper plates and plastic cutlery
- Christmas dinner – Start with dessert and forget the rest.
- Sit on the beach in Bali
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8. Go to bed on the 23rd and get up on January 3rd.*
9. Only buy presents for Jesus.
10. Put a cover on the outside chimney opening so you don’t have to put out cookies and milk.
Chanukah:
11. Watch your friends decorate (and take down) their Christmas tree.
12. Convert.
13. Stay in a 5-star hotel for 8 days and nights.
14. Use credit cards instead of gelt
15. Instead of gambling with a dreidle at home go to Vegas
16. Don’t give presents, do good deeds
17. Go to bed on Thanksgiving and wake up on New Years**
18. Bake potatoes instead of grating them to death
19. Eat macaroons with Ben & Jerry
New Years:
20. *Remember! Stay in bed until the 3rd, unless you’re Jewish.
21. **If you are Jewish, go back to bed.
CURIOUS to the MAX 
All good suggestions! Have a happy holiday!
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Kathy,
Hope you have a happy holiday too! Guaranteed if you follow ALL 21 suggestions . . . let me know.
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This is hilarious, Judy! Nearly bedtime for me and I’m so glad to go to bed with giggles in my mouth – good for my soul and my diet.
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Shari B-P,
HILARIOUS! Doesn’t anyone ever take me seriously??????
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And, once again, you arrive to rescue my sanity! As an atheist though, I guess I’ll only be able to keep Bali on my list.
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James,
Atheists convert at Halloween, go to Bali, “deconvert” on Valentines day, and then opt to stay in Bali where they no longer have to worry about holidays, just earthquakes and tsunami.
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What I want to know, if none of these arguably excellent suggestions work, will you come counsel me? Get me back to my safe space??
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Jacqui,
So sorry. You are 2 years too late – I retired in 2014. HOWEVER, I will trade a safe place for your technological space!
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I’m all over all the recommendations. I am NOT decorating a tree for first time with just a few decorations. A very releasing feeling. It took me 50+ years to finally have a stress free Christmas. Still spending too much $$$ for gifts but next year will work on this problem. 👍😊🙆 Sent from my iPhone Linda
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Linda,
Congratulations on your 50th-plus. It’s easy sledding for the next 50+
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