There were no art classes – because of the holiday – for over a week. For some unexplained reason I began to wonder why I was taking drawing classes. Previous to retirement the only “extra-curricular” activities I did had a purpose – professional enrichment, teaching others, meeting requirements etc. I have no desire (we won’t talk about talent) to exhibit or sell nude drawings . . . For some reason, simply seeking personal enjoyment seemed strange at best and hollow at worst.
I’m still not sure why my disquiet and only share it wondering if you, too, have questioned just doing something simply for self-enjoyment?
* * *
This model was known for his muscular, regal bearing. He has lost weight and thee is a vulnerability that wasn’t apparent before.

20 Minute sketch, conte crayon

10 minute sketch, charcoal

20 minutes sketch, charcoal
Depending on MY energy level, I MAY respond. Right now it is low but when I saw your drawing I was reminded that the 4 y.o. boy in my guest room will be a man before I know it. Looking at photos tonight, he saw his father as a little boy. I saw how much that little boy looked so identical to his 4 y.o.son in my guest room.
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Bernice, It is interesting how drawings (and music and such) trigger thoughts and feelings. So glad you took the time to reflect and share. I think that there’s always some little spark we carry forward from one generation to the next – a gesture, a physical resemblance, an inflection reminds of of the spark of God that unites us all.
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I take quiet enjoyment/me-time in gardening, mowing and taking care of yard, even vacuuming the house (don’t tell anyone). I’ve questioned the time these take when I could be contributing to others/society, but decided they were important to my mental health as a complete check-out/getaway. Perhaps sometimes we just do what we do ‘cuz it’s needed and in the end, feels right.
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Duffys Dad,
I don’t think we need to spend all our time contributing to others but (right now) It seems I’m not doing much of anything significant. Not sure feeling right and doing right are always one in the same.
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Judy, I love the way you describe the model as now being vulnerable, which is where I think creativity exists.
As for doing something for no reason except pleasure – Why do we do anything, really? Even fulfilling a purpose gives pleasure. Long discussion possible here, but I’ll leave it for later.
Now you get back to your art – it gives me pleasure to see what you draw each week.
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Shari,
Food for thought . . . I’m not sure pleasure is the right word? If purpose is pleasure, perhaps pleasure is purpose?
Thank you for the comment that it gives you pleasure to see what I’ve drawn – I guess when it stops giving me pleasure I’ll stop.
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