The best I can describe my “condition” is feeling like a sandy beach being worn away by unrelenting waves and occasional pounding storms.
Fibromyalgia/Chronic fatigue is said to not be life threatening only life altering, Flares come and go, exhaustion is ever present. Describing the pain is difficult but sharp pressure anywhere on my body hurts. I’m just reporting, not complaining, (although I’ve been known to moan & groan) .
I was blessed in my first forty plus years with relatively good health. In 1995 that changed for me with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue. I admit it’s been a struggle trying to ignore, over-ride or giving in to the daily fatigue, pain and various other “irritants”. The older I get the harder it’s been.
In public I look fine and only those who intimately know me would know if I were feeling exhausted, in pain or depressed. When I’m feeling particularly bad no one knows as I shelter in place – stay home and lick my wounds. Any contact, even a phone call, can feel overwhelming. Weirdly, having to isolate at home during the pandemic has been a relief.
CURIOUStotheMAX blog has been my in-home companion: A way to connect to the world and my incredibly understanding friends while expending minimal energy; posts that remind me to eat better, be grateful, and most of all Peggy and her delightful drawings that make me smile.
My Baha’i faith, above all, is what sustain me. Even on my worst days my question is never “Why me?”. I ask God for guidance, the wisdom to understand that guidance and the where-with-all to carry it out . . . one day at a time . . . sometimes one hour at a time.