Frankly Freddie – The Untold Story of Little Red Riding Hood

After reading an original Little Red Riding Hood story (which I won’t link to as I do not condone violence nor death by consumption). I have to exonerate the Wolf who has gotten a bad rap because I know about “wild life” and wolves are no exception:

  • Wolves do not eat people whole like boa constrictors. (They have better manners and teeth.)
  • Wolves never eat little girls because they prefer meat well-done and chewy.  (Grandma’s might qualify.)
  • If they did eat little girls they would never eat one wearing a red cape.  (They are environmentalists and prefer green.)
  • And lastly . . . Wolves NEVER dine alone. (They live in packs and have communal dining halls.)

Warning!  Do NOT read the original.  It’s filled with violence and death.

The REAL Story of Little Red Riding Hood

by Freddie Parker Westerfield, published author

Once upon a time in a land far away lived a little orphan wolf. How he became an orphan is not known, the records being lost long ago in the archives of the forest.  All the tales simply begin: Once upon a time, in a land far away lived a little orphan wolf.

Never having been around others of his own kind he didn’t know what big teeth he had. He didn’t know what big eyes he had. He didn’t know what a long tail he had. He didn’t know how hairy he was. He didn’t know how scary he was. All he knew was that he was alone in a big, big forest filled with creatures that ran away as soon as he approached.

Day by day, so the birds wouldn’t fly away, he sat far, far below the tree tops listening to them sing to each other from high above.

He watched from far, far away the forest creatures playing so they wouldn’t leap out of his sight.

He snuck peaks at all the critters sharing their meals from behind a bush so they wouldn’t know he was there.

Every morn he dined out for breakfast, alone. Every eve he dined out for super, alone. Every night he settled down to sleep, alone.

One day the little orphan wolf decided to set out from his forest home to find someone, somewhere, to be his friend.

Along the way he came upon a little girl. She had a little curl and wore a red cape and hood. Why she wore a red cape and hood is not known, the records being lost long ago in the archives of the forest.

Because she was so young she didn’t know how scary the orphan wolf was and asked.

“Where are you going Mr. Wolf”?

“I’m off to find a friend so that I am not alone. I’m off to find a friend to dine with. I am looking for a friend to play with and most of all I want a friend to talk with. I am very lonely.”

The little girl, feeling sorry for the little orphan wolf, said, “Do come with me to Grandma’s house. She makes delicious muffins from berries I pick in the forest. She sits at the table and listens to me talk. Grandma loves all of God’s creatures. Although she can’t be your grandma, perhaps she can be your friend”

“I don’t know what a Grandma is,” replied the little orphan wolf, “but she sounds exactly like the friend I’m looking for.”

And so the little orphan wolf set off with the little girl with a curl, wearing a red cape and hood to Grandma’s house.

They passed by a giant berry bush.“Stop here to pick berries for the delicious muffins Grandma makes.” They picked bushels of berries and carried them in the little girls red cape and hood.

They passed by a field of flowers.“Stop here to pick flowers for Grandma to put on the table where we sit and she listens to me talk.”They picked bouquets of flowers and carried them in the little girls red cape and hood.

They passed a bubbling brook where cool waters ran.Stop here for a drink to refresh ourselves after all our work picking berries and flowers.” They drank from the bubbling brook and rested on the little girl’s red cape and hood so as not to get dirty.

As they passed over the crest of a hill the little girl cried, “There’s Grandma’s house. Let’s see if she will be your friend.”

Grandma greeted the little girl, the little orphan wolf peeking out from behind not sure what a grandma was, with a big smile, the biggest smile the little orphan wolf had ever seen.

The little girl announced, “Grandma, I’ve brought you berries so you can make delicious muffins. I’ve brought you flowers to put on the table where we sit and you listen to me talk. I’ve brought you a little orphan wolf who is lonely and looking for a friend”

Now, the little orphan wolf’s eyes grew big, having never seen a Grandma before. Not knowing what to do he opened his big mouth, showed his big teeth and wagged his bushy tail.

“My! What big teeth you have”, gasped grandma. The better to protect you with”replied the wolf.

“My! What big eyes you have”marveled Grandma. “The better to lovingly look up at you with”, replied the wolf.

My! What a bushy tail you have”, exclaimed Grandma. “The better to wag with happiness,” replied the wolf.

“My! How hairy you are”, said Grandma. “The Better to cuddle and keep you warm,said the wolf.

“My oh my”, Grandma sighed. “You may stay with me. I’ll feed you delicious muffin treats, and you can sit and listen to me while I talk”.

“And because you are one of God’s creatures I will call you D-o-g.”

Where upon he looked up at Grandma with big eyes, opened his big wolf mouth, showed his big wolf teeth, wagged his bushy wolf tail, stuck out his wet wolf tongue and gave Grandma an appreciative lick.

He had found his friend.

The End

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

PLEASE share this with everyone you know

to help clear the wolf’s reputation.

Soon to be a children’s book! Watch this blog for the premier international publication date! You may be able to get an advanced FREE PDF if you’d give a review. And/or treats. Treats preferred.

LLLL,  Freddie

Drawing friends and pets for my granddaughter

The last post I shared (click here) was my some of my earliest memories I drew for my grand daughter Lucy.  They didn’t hold her interest as she was 5 years old.   Perhaps when she’s 50 she’ll value them enough to share with her children.

The more I drew the more my own memory was jogged and these were of my childhood best friend and pets.

.

I made friends with Kay in grade school. For a while, she needed to wear a patch over one eye. I think it was to make her other eye stronger- and it worked. After awhile she no longer had to wear the patch.

My dogs Tipper and Topper loved ice cream and would look at me with puppy dog eyes when I had some. They always got a taste.

My first horse was Misty. She had a foal and I guessed which night she would give birth. Kay and I spent the night at the pasture. It was good we were there, because the foal got caught in a loop of batted wire and I had to untangle him. That night I will always remember.

I named the foal Copper Tint for the color of his spots. I’d bring him along when I went riding.

PA

See Drawing Stories for my Granddaughter

Drawing stories for my granddaughter

When my granddaughter, Lucy was born, Judy gave me a “Grandmother-book” to write about events in my life as a keep-sake for my granddaughter.  I thought it was a good idea, but writing has never been my first choice of expression.  So I decided to draw stories & vignettes of my life for Lucy.

Some of my earliest memories:

I lived in Chicago until I was almost 5, so I got to play in the snow.

I had my tonsils out, and “had” to go on an ice cream diet.  Back then the flavors were limited.  choc chip now ( or Vanilla Swiss Almond from Haagen-Dax’s

We moved from Chicago, Illinois to Phoenix, Arizona when I was 5, so now I played in the sprinklers instead of snow.

I loved horses and drew them all the time. I got a real horse, Misty,  when I was 10.

see Drawing Friends and Pets for my Granddaughter

PA

New Year’s Happiness Hacks

We’ve been posting Happiness Hacks from our coming book Hacking Your Way to Happiness and put 12 of the 22 hacks into a 2020 calendar.  Rick (Judy’s out-of-the-box-thinking brother) sent her what he thought was possible hack cure for fibromyalgia.  We didn’t get it in time for the Hack Your Way to Happiness calendar so we’re sharing what Rick sent in this special post. 

The 2020 Calendar is in our Zazzle shop. Click here

Note this calendar is small, 5.5″ x 7″

We’re not sure about fibromyalgia but for those of you who are planning to imbibe this New Years hopefully the hack won’t get you wacked.

*     *     *

“The active ingredient common to all alcoholic beverages is made by yeasts; microscopic, single-celled organisms that eat sugar and excrete carbon dioxide and ethanol, the only portable alcohol.”

“From our modern point of view, ethanol has one very compelling property: it makes us feel good. Ethanol helps release serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins in the brain, chemicals that make us happy and less anxious.”

Cheers To Responsible Drinking This Holiday Season From all the Curious Critters

DRINK ON A FULL STOMACH (that doesn’t mean balancing a beer on your belly)

Make sure to have solid food in your system before having any alcohol. Experts recommend that you eat high-protein foods such as cheese and peanuts, which help to slow the absorption of alcohol into the circulatory system and burn it off.

KEEP HYDRATED (with water, not wine)

Dehydration can cause your blood volume to drop, allowing less blood and oxygen to flow to the brain and allowing the stress hormone cortisol to have a greater impact on your system, so make sure that you are getting adequate fluid. If you drink alcohol while dehydrated, it will have a seriously negative impact on your system. Water improves the processing of brain chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine.

SIP IT SLOWLY (nothing to add, we just like the alliteration)

Your body absorbs alcohol quicker than you metabolize it. The faster you drink, the more time the toxins in booze spend in your body, affecting your brain and other tissues, and the bigger the hangover will be in the morning.

ONE PER HOUR (drinks, not miles)

Metabolism depends on several factors (gender, weight, age, health), but in general, most people can metabolize roughly one drink an hour.

ADD SOME ICE (we’re not referring to the Rapper)

Diluting alcohol with ice or water will increase your time between refills and decrease its effects on your body and brain. As you slowly enjoy your beverage, the ice will melt and create more liquid as it reduces the strength of the alcohol. You can also use soda water or another non-alcoholic beverage as a chaser. Don’t be influenced or embarrassed into not chasing your drink. Your own health and safety are what’s important.

DON’T MIX ALCOHOL WITH DRUGS

Whether it’s flu medicine, painkillers, sleeping pills, antibiotics, prescription meds, antidepressants – you name it, it doesn’t matter – it is a really bad idea to mix alcohol with drugs.

Alcohol Packs on the Pounds (We’ve saved one of the worst for last)

Alcohol is calorie-dense

Alcohol intake is for adults – 18 years and older but our Happiness Hacks Calendar  is G-rated

*P.S. We bought calendars for ourselves with Zazzle discount coupon.  Make sure to check out the Zazzle specials.  Half of the profit we make will be donated to the charity, The Gentle Barn.

Click her for Recipie for Peanut Butter Cup Martini

The True Story – Why Santa Never Gets Caught

Doodlewash is a blog I follow – both for Charlie O’s great water-colors but even more for his stories inspired by his watercolored drawings.  Several years ago I was inspired by his childhood explanation of how Santa and his reindeer get around.  (Charlie claims he was a child but I suspect that is just a cover-up for what he knows is the truth . . . )

Pome by judy

No one catches Santa on the roof

or in the snow sees prints

of tiny reindeer hoof

for Santa’s no bigger than a fly

and reindeer all the size of ants

ferry him through the Christmas sky

I don’t think it silly at all

to imagine reindeer quite so small

and know 

how Santa slides down chimney flues

with nary much soot on his beard or shoes

So make your cookies the size of peas

and leave the milk in a thimble please

Limit the weight of gifts and such

to crush an ant

 it doesn’t take much

   *     *    *

To read Charlie O’s story click here:

How Do Reindeer Fly?