Frankly Freddie, Caption It! Part I

Dear Freddie Fans,

I’ve had a lot of time on my paws lately since P&J have not been walking with me because it’s been “raining”. (They are very delicate and don’t like to get their hair get frizzy or their tootsies cold.  However, It rarely rains in Southern California.  I suspect they turn the lawn sprinklers on.)  So I’ve been amusing myself by imagining what the captions SHOULD have been on the pictures they draw.

Play along with me please – Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

To get you started, here’s a few from my Canine & Feline Friends (who wish to remain anonymous so their humans don’t know they’ve been on the computer)

#1 Mouse and Mouse

“YOU ate my cheese!”               “Prove it.”

Who does your whisker extensions?

***

#2  Mouse & Eleph

“Try washing it in hot water”

Post your captions in the comments please, I don’t do e-mail.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCH

Certified Canine Humorist & Roving Reporter

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

 

Frankly Freddie – Dog O’ Blog, Phineas

Unlike me who is very paws-on, Phineas prefers to manage his blog, doodlewash and all the affairs of his humans, Charlie & Phillipe behind the scenes.  Cleverly, Phineas has assigned Charlie to do all the work and be the front-dog. 

Water-color by Charlie

I suspect that Charlie tends to click the “publish button” without Phineas’ editorial approval.  Why?  Because almost ALL the pictures of Phineas are Charlie’s water-color paintings of him rather than photos.

Also, Charlie has jumped to some conclusions about Phineas that we canines would NEVER assume about humans. 

Cases in point (I quote Charlie):

“Since he was a rescue found growing up on the tough streets of Topeka, Kansas, we assume he must have a very small town view of the world. This, combined with his rather wrinkled brow that makes it seem like he’s always a bit irritated with something and judging you, led to us deciding he’s also an extremely ultra-conservative Republican.”

Phineas maneuvered Charlie with the very clever ploy that all us smart canines all know:

” . . . this little Basenji has had a wonderfully unique personality from day one. I still remember going to the shelter and seeing a scraggly little dog with hair so coarse it would almost hurt to touch it. I sat down on the floor of his pen to get to know him and within seconds, he leapt into my lap, rolled on his back and stared up at me. If I was at all undecided, it was clear that Phineas had already made the decision for us. I looked down into those mischievous brown eyes that seemed to say, “Dude, let’s get the hell out of here.” And so we did.”

Phineas getting comfortable with Duckie

“Creative” is Charlie’s “gig” . . . we canines just know how to get comfortable

“His first bit of time spent in his crate, he tore the stuffing out of his bed, which doesn’t seem odd for a dog who is bored. However, after pulling out all of the stuffing, he then re-stuffed it into a different shape, which he found to be more desirable. It felt good knowing I had a dog who was also creative. Though already one and half years old when he arrived, he had the energy, curiosity and enthusiasm of a puppy. It seriously wore me out and made me crazy some days, but I couldn’t fault him as these were also traits we shared.”

Water-color by Charlie

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie . . .you are suffering from human naiveté –  Phineas doesn’t “ASSUME”, he KNOWS.

“Phineas has quite a rich and complex life that’s quite easy to overlook while simply watching him snoring on the couch. When we have dinner parties, it’s referred to as Phineas Café, not because he actually cooks anything, but because he thinks he owns this restaurant. And he will go up to each guest and won’t leave until they tell him the dinner was wonderful or at least satisfactory. Indeed, his demeanor seems to say that he owns this house and all of its inhabitants as well. When I published my recent book, we imagine Phineas saying, “Oh, no! I’m an author now! How much can one little dog do?” He takes credit for everything that happens in our lives, and assumes he must be in charge of it in some way.

Charlie O’Shields, Owned by Phineas

“I’m Charlie O’Shields, and I live in Kansas City, Missouri.I started doodlewash in July 2015 to capture little bits of the world in ink and watercolor. Even though I hadn’t picked up a pen to sketch in over 20 years and I’d only just used watercolor for the first time that day, I got super excited about it, and well, Doodlewash was born. (What’s a doodlewash? Click here!)”

“My posts are actually my art journal. . .  paintings . . . all typically created in the precious little hour I’ve carved out for myself on a weekend or weekdays after work and before dinner!”

“You can also log into this site with your chosen social media provider and join the club! Doodlewash Club, to be exact. A totally free to join watercolor community where you can get your own artist profile, share your work in our global watercolor gallery, interact with other watercolor artists around the globe, and much, much, more!”

 

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Editor-in-Canine, Roving Reporter

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

Phineas earns his badge of distinction

Frankly Freddie – Dogs of No Blogs, Day 2-1/2

Dear Freddie Fans,

Doggone Good Dogs* Buddy and Cookie Klenner

Alas, neither owns a blog. 

They must ask their human why they are being deprived of having a public forum.

Can you tell which one is Buddy and which one is Cookie?

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

https://wp.me/pLGhj-aT0Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

 

*What’s a “Doggone Good Dog”?

  • She or HE has weathered years of human’s life experience.
  • She or HE has navigated changes – whether by choice, chance or necessity – and continues to adapt to human idiosyncrasy.
  • She or HE contributes to the world by caring for humans, both female and male.
  • She or HE is curious and open to having new tasting experiences.

Frankly,  Freddie

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

model

Frankly Freddie, EYE with a VIEW

Dear my Freddie Fans,

It’s hard to get Peggy to show her art (she’s more humble than Judy who seems to relish posting nude humans).  Peggy prefers nude animals.

She took these photographs at the San Diego Zoo,

a nudist camp if I ever saw one . . .

Peggy, clothed

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Roving Reporter

Fur Fun: Freddie’s Forwarning

 You can’t be vain

dancing in the rain

for it’s a sure bet

your paws’ll get wet

your fur will matt

and you’ll looked like

a drowned cat

 

Survival Of The Laziest

Now, I’m no mollusk but I do know that as I’ve aged I’ve slowed down . . . along with my metabolism.  Turns out this is GOOD news:

Less Active Species May Live Longer

“This is what a group of researchers from the University of Kansas found after taking a close look at some extinct as well as living species . . . analyzing the physiology and evolution of as many as 299 species of aquatic mollusks — including present-day snails and slugs — over last five million years.”

“They delved into the occurrences and extinction of different species over the said period as well as their respective metabolic rates or the amount of energy each of the creature in question needed for survival.”

“Much to everyone’s surprise, the findings of the work revealed that metabolic rates make a reliable factor for predicting the likelihood of extinction of a certain animal species or community of species.”

“We found a difference for mollusk species that have gone extinct over the past 5 million years and ones that are still around today.  Those that have gone extinct tend to have higher metabolic rates than those that are still living . . . those that have lower energy maintenance requirements seem more likely to survive than those organisms with higher metabolic rates.”*

“Maybe in the long-term the best evolutionary strategy for animals is to be lassitudinous and sluggish — the lower the metabolic rate, the more likely the species you belong to will survive . . . Instead of ‘survival of the fittest,’ maybe a better metaphor for the history of life is ‘survival of the laziest’ or at least ‘survival of the sluggish.'”**

I was going to go for a brisk walk but I’ll take a nap instead and . . .

live to walk another day.

judy

*Luke Strotz, lead author of the study

**co-author Bruce Lieberman

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