With all the strife & stress in the world, I go out of my way to look for anything that brings me a smile. The innocence of babies and animals is at the top of my list. AND combining the two is the best.
Can’t help smiling at this picture of a newborn gorilla. He looks so content . . . it’s hard not to project my human emotions, thoughts and intention onto animals . . . especially on those who “look like me” . . . minus the hair and pug nose.
Here’s the story behind the picture of the new-born gorilla:
“(CNN)Some Philadelphia doctors delivered a different kind of baby than usual Friday.”
“A team of veterinary and human medical specialists was called in to deliver a gorilla at the Philadelphia Zoo after the mother, 17-year-old Kira, appeared to struggle during labor.
Usually, gorilla births are quick and the mother does not appear distressed. With Kira, however, staff at the zoo noticed she was growing tired after being in labor and were concerned for her health.”
“The surgeons, anesthesiologists and an OB-GYN were prepared to respond if anything went wrong during labor or Kira’s pregnancy. While gorilla cesarean sections aren’t out of the ordinary, this was the first assisted vaginal delivery for a gorilla since 2000, according to the Philadelphia Zoo. The birth required tools similar to those used during human deliveries.”
“Kira, a western lowland gorilla and first-time mother, gave birth to a healthy baby after a 1½-hour delivery and was fully recovered the next morning. This is the third offspring for 32-year-old father Motuba. The newborn male joins another baby gorilla from the zoo, also fathered by Motuba.”
‘”It was an anxious and dramatic day at the zoo, but in the end a tremendously rewarding one,” Dr. Andy Baker, Philadelphia Zoo’s chief operating officer, said in a news release.”
Argan trees are an importantpart of the economy in Morocco. They bear fruit and the seeds of the fruit are valuable — they can be pressed to yield argan oil, valued in beauty treatments and foodie circles. By some reports, argan oil exports bring in $6.5 million.”
It’s not easy to harvest seeds from atop a 30-foot-tall tree. In the arid parts of Morocco where argan trees grow. Goats are encouraged to climb, dine and deliver the seeds to earth, where they are collected by humans and eventually turned into argan oil.”
The goats . . ” go very slowly and they do it. Some goat keepers modify the trees to make them easier to climb, they cut some branches off the trees so the goats can start climbing the trees more easily.”
“They disperse the seeds by spitting them out during rumination.”
However, if there is . . . “a huge number of goats, they eat all the new baby trees, they kill them, so even though the goats are dispersing the seeds, they are eating the baby trees. So the effect is negative. But if there is a small or moderate number of goats, they will not kill all the baby trees produced by the dispersed seeds.”
“These people who take care of the argan trees get money from selling the argan fruit, so they buy more goats. So there is no rejuvenation of the argan forest because the goats are eating all the baby trees.”
Creepy, manipulative, terrible hoax or a creative, fun-filled joke?
The positive view is that April Fools’ is good for one’s health because it encourages “jokes, pranks, and belly laughs and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart!
Here are some April 1st pranks pulled on whole populations. You decide if they are creepy or fun-filled:
1957: “Swiss Spaghetti Harvest. The BBC broadcast a film in their Panorama current affairs series purporting to show Swiss farmers picking freshly-grown spaghetti from the family “spaghetti tree”. At the time spaghetti was relatively little known in the UK, so that many Britons were unaware that it is made from wheat flour and water; a number of viewers afterwards contacted the BBC for advice on growing their own spaghetti trees. The BBC was later flooded with requests to purchase a spaghetti plant, forcing them to declare the film a hoax on the news the next day.”
Welcome To Chicago!
1992: “Airline passengers descending into Los Angeles Airport might have experienced a momentary feeling of panic when they looked out the window and saw an 85-foot-long yellow banner on the ground that spelled out, in 20-foot-high red letters, “Welcome to Chicago.” It was raised above the Hollywood Park race track, which lay directly along the flight path for arriving planes, about three miles from the airport.”
1976: “During an early-morning interview on BBC Radio 2, the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced that at 9:47 AM that day a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur. Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, and this planetary alignment would temporarily counteract and lessen the Earth’s own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment the alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, the station began receiving hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman reported that she and her friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room. Moore had intended his annoucement to be a spoof of a pseudoscientific theory that had recently been promoted in a book called The Jupiter Effect, alleging that a rare alignment of the planets was going to cause massive earthquakes and the destruction of Los Angeles in 1982.”
Orange-Bearing Pine Trees
1950: “Motorists driving along the scenic Rim of the World highway near Lake Arrowhead in Southern California encountered something remarkable. All the pine and cedar trees lining the road had grown oranges overnight. The transformation turned out to be the work of the residents of the nearby town of Skyforest, led by the cartoonist Frank Adams. They had crept out during the night and strung 50,000 oranges in the trees along a one-mile section of the highway. The fruit was left over from the recent National Orange Show in San Bernardino.”
1984: “The Orlando Sentinel featured a story about a creature known as the Tasmanian Mock Walrus (or TMW for short) that many people in Florida were said to be adopting as a pet. The creature was four inches long, resembled a walrus, purred like a cat, and had the temperament of a hamster. What made it such an ideal pet was that it never had to be bathed, used a litter box, and ate cockroaches. In fact, a single TMW could entirely rid a house of its cockroach problem. However, the local pest-control industry was said to be pressuring the government to ban TMWs, fearing they would put cockroach exterminators out of business. Dozens of people called the paper trying to find out where they could obtain their own TMW. Skeptics noted that the photo of a TMW accompanying the article showed a creature that looked suspiciously similar to a Naked Mole Rat.”
FAT SOX – Loose Weight from the “bottom” up.
2000: “The Daily Mail revealed that Esporta Health Clubs had launched a new line of socks, dubbed FatSox, designed to help people lose weight. These revolutionary socks actually sucked body fat out of sweating feet, promising to “banish fat for ever.” The American inventor of this weight-loss product, Professor Frank Ellis Elgood, explained that the socks employed a nylon polymer called FloraAstraTetrazine “previously only applied in the nutrition industry.” As a person’s body heat rose and their blood vessels dilated, the socks drew “excess lipid from the body through the sweat.” After having sweated out the fat, the wearer could then simply wash the socks, and the fat, away.”
In Italy, France, Belgium, The Netherlands, and French-speaking areas of Switzerland and Canada, April tradition is often known as “April fish” (poissons d’avril in French, aprilvis in Dutch or pesce d’aprile in Italian).
This includes attempting to attach a paper fish to the victim’s back without being noticed. Many newspapers also spread a false story on April Fools’ Day, and a subtle reference to a fish is sometimes given as a clue.
Thank you for all your responses to my survey. I got treats for being supportive.
Peggy and my human are excited to launch their new blog CATNIP
I’m getting excited too cuz I’m being supportive and will get treats for my contest.
I keep asking them Why on earth name the new blog CATNIP and not FREDDIE?
According to humans, catnip makes you mellow. (What they don’t know is it drives cats wild with desire.) Peggy & Judy want to help you find your mellow but if it drives you wild with desire for more CATNIP they’ll be pleased.
Peggy and my human each worked for over 210 dog years as Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists. That’s a lot of years. They decided to share what they’ve learned and the tools they’ve taught rather than have all their stuff blindly dumped into a shredder after they’re gone.
So . . . continuing to be supportive . . . I’m sponsoring a contest to help them be successful bloggers, like me.
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to CATNIP so Peggy and my human don’t think I’ve sabotaged them (as retired psychotherapists they are sometimes a bit paranoid).
It’s easy – just enter your e-mail address in the subscribe box at the top right hand corner of the CATNIPBLOG site.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET
P.S. I made them promise to have fun doing CATNIP. I know them . . . if it isn’t fun they won’t do it. So if you pay attention you’ll see some of their original drawings, stories, poems sneak on cat feet into the CATNIPblog.
P.P.S.S. Neither Peggy nor my human are very smart when it comes to technical stuff. Ronna Skinner, graphic designer extraordinaire (not to mention Peggy’s cousin-in-law) helped get the cats Peggy drew, safely perched onto the letters where they can play with “CATNIP” to their hearts content (and not bother me)
I’m trying to be very supportive, however, I think my human is sniffing catnip.
I was really glad she and her friend Peggy Arndt got together because Peggy gives me treats. I was glad when they told me they were collaborating on a new blog where they were going to share the materials and techniques they used to help clients when they were psychotherapists because as a retired Certified Canine Therapist I want everyone to know how to make themselves feel good.
Now I’m upset. They are calling the blog CATNIP because they think catnip makes you feel mellow. If that isn’t bad enough they are dedicating CATNIP to Peggy’s cat Maui.
Personally, I think catnip makes you crazy and the blog should be dedicated to me.
Now that they are both retired they seem to not be doing much of anything except wandering around*. So they don’t go too far astray, I created a survey for them to help them be successful bloggers, like me.
Please fill out my survey for theirCATNIP blog!
(You can choose as many areas of interests as you want and when you’re done click “vote”)
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT, RET
*Thank you for your kind response to this most delicate matter.
I’m baaaaaaack . . . sorta . . . missed all my art classes, missed church . . . cancelled The HeART of Spirituality workshop cuz I’ve been feeling puny. (And when I am feeling puny I eat, watch the cooking channel, download recipes and read all I can about what not to eat in the hopes that I will follow that advice.)
The only constructive thing I’ve done is work on the NEW BLOG Catnip with my good friend and colleague Peggy Arndt.
(Peggy is a retired psychotherapist too AND an artist and author. I’ve never caught Peggy feeling puny and eating since she’s within a pound or two of the same weight she was when we were in high school together. If I didn’t like her so much I’d hate her.)
Between the two of us we have amassed decades of information on neuroscience and behavior and relationships . . . and eating . . . and addictions. We’re going to share all that on a new blog called CATNIP(but I digress . . .)
While I was researching for CATNIP this article caught my eye . . . here are some excerpts:
“The average American eats more than 33 pounds of cheese a year.” (Thirty-three pounds is about the amount of weight I’d like to lose. I need to stop eating my American share of cheese.)
“This is according to Neal Barnard, physician and president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. And that’s a problem, he says, because it’s helping to make us overweight and sick.”
“Loaded with calories, high in sodium, packing more cholesterol than steak, and sprinkled with hormones — if cheese were any worse, it would be Vaseline …”
Some foods are fattening. Others are addictive. Cheese is both — fattening and addictive.”
“Barnard explains that dairy protein — specifically a protein called casein — has opiate molecules built in. When babies nurse, he notes, they’re getting dosed with a mild drug: “Milk contains opiates that reward the baby for nursing.”‘
“It’s no different with the cow’s milk — or other mammalian milk — from which cheese is made. In fact, Barnard says, the process of cheese-making concentrates the casein”
“Call it dairy crack.”
“Dairy proteins appear to trigger inflammation, apparently by triggering the release of antibodies, which leads to the constriction of the tiny muscles in the airways. By avoiding dairy proteins, the trigger for the [asthma] attacks is gone.”
“. . . Barnard notes that vitamin D may play an important role in protecting us against some types of cancers. Citing prostate-cancer data, he suggests that because dairy products are high in calcium and calcium intake can slow down activation of vitamin D, cancer risks may increase with cheese-eating.”
“However, if one’s goal is to lose weight, there is something to be said for not teasing yourself with occasional doses of the very food that caused the problem in the first place.(I might add sugar and refined carbs to the list . . . might?)Better to end that bad love affair. If a person is concerned about asthma, migraine, rheumatoid arthritis, or other sensitivities, one soon loses all desire for the food product that caused the problem.” (So far THAT argument hasn’t worked with me.)
(Maybe every time I feel puny I should picture myself eating 33 pounds of VASELINE . . . )
If this isn’t the cutest, weirdest little critter I don’t know what is!
A Puggles Pome
Puggles are the puggliest
Their little snout the ugliest
Cuddle them quick
for when they’re grown
they’ll claw you
and won’t give a lick
“Sydney Zoo is celebrating the arrival of the first baby echidnas, known as puggles, in almost 30 years. The tiny (cute), and incredibly rare Australian mammals, hatched in the summer weighing between 250 and 500 grams. Echidnas, sometimes known as spiny anteaters, lay eggs – which hatch after 10 days. They’re then carried in their mother’s pouches for up to two months.”
Many, if not most, of my posts over the years have regaled you, my loyal readers, with bits of what I find interesting and curious. (ex. Two of my all time most viewed and informative posts were about Butterfly fish and the Singles Scene and Stoned Fish.)
Since I’ve been taking life drawing classes there are not many articles that go along with drawings of nudes that meet the G-rating of my blog.
In class the teacher has been talking about the skeleton of the body and today I found a very interesting article about a discovery of a new species of dinosaur in Australia that is in keeping with this instructional focus!!!!
“Paleontologists have discovered a new species of dinosaur in Australia. The wide-hipped, long-necked, four-legged plant-eater was about half the length of a basketball court, and its shoulders stood as high as the hoop.”
This model was a slim-hipped, long-necked, two-legged vegetarian who was the full length of my paper and her shoulders alternately drooped and stood high, depending on the pose.
“Savannasaurus skeleton is one of the most complete sauropods to be discovered in Australia. Based on its skeleton, it was probably about 50 feet long, with a long neck and a wide, round body — weighing in at 40,000 pounds, as much as three African elephants combined. Dinosaur fossils in Australia are exceedingly rare, and this discovery could help scientists understand how these massive creatures spread across the planet millions of years ago.“
. . . that would take one humongous piece of paper to draw it . . .
Sharon Bonin Pratt is a writer, an artist and a dear friend. I think she also is psychic. I’ve been not feeling great and the subject of her last post was just what I needed. AND it’s dedicated to ME!!!! What an honor!
Shari inspired me to look for a smile (SEE THE VIDEO).
“Who can laugh without relaxing? Isn’t that why some of us (not me of course, and certainly not you, but other unnamed folks) pee their pants when laughing raucously? Losing all control is not a bad thing, even if you must change your whitie-dities, because when you’re having that much fun – who cares about all the rest? Oh, and it’s contagious! In a good way, not like the flu, but like having enough cup cakes for everyone in the world. So now I not only feel good inside my own world weary bod – I feel good because everyone around me also feels good. Motto for today: Spread cheer – laugh out loud.”
“The team spotted this Stubby Squid off the coast of California at a depth of 900 meters (2,950 feet). The stubby squid (Rossia pacifica) looks like a cross between an octopus and squid, but is more closely related to cuttlefish. This species spends life on the seafloor, activating a sticky mucus jacket and burrowing into the sediment to camouflage, leaving their eyes poking out to spot prey like shrimp and small fish. Rossia pacifica”
At Judy Formato’sPainting on the Patio (POP) art group the topic of marijuana came up.
Several of the woman, who shall remain anonymous, (we are all well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) admitted to inhaling in their youth. It was a pertinent topic (for those of us well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) relating to pain medication for maladies that come with maturity.
Researcher Staci Gruber is “. . . trying to determine the long and short-term impact of medical marijuana on cognition, brain structure and function, quality of life, sleep, and other clinical measures.
“People drive two to three hours sometimes to get [here for] the study,” Gruber said. “They’re really committed. They really want to know what effect this will have on them.”
“As they wait for long-term results, MIND researchers have made a few interim discoveries. They have found, for example, that marijuana could possibly ease symptoms for people with bipolar disorder and that a medication for strokes and Alzheimer’s disease may reverse the cognitive effects of chronic recreational marijuana use.”
Perhaps our POP group could volunteer – we can drive and are VERY committed women.
I think we qualify.
Oh, by the way, here’s what I painted at POP.
I wonder why they don’t use rats for this study – they use them for all the others?
My human has been laying around the house all week. You’ve probably noticed she’s not been commenting on her blog or responding to e-mails. She overdid it at her last workshop and has been dog-tired ever since.
Humans are cute, not very smart and take a lot of patience on our part. Just when I think she’s trained she gets loose and I have no idea where she goes or what she gets into. All I know is she comes limping home.
She looks a bit dog-eared.
Usually she can pick up the scent and find her way back but if you see her loose on the street don’t call human-control, just bring her home in time for my dinner.
“PET owners beware — new research has revealed that dogs don’t like hugs from their owners, which can make them (the owners?) more stressed out.” “According to new research published in Psychology Today, Stanley Coren from the University of British Columbia, said dogs respond differently to humans who seek comfort from hugging others.” “Coren, who studies canine behaviour, analysed a random sample of 250 pictures of humans hugging their dogs that he could find online through Flickr and a Google image search.” (skewed data – he left out Pintrest and Instagram where the animal pictures are more photogenic) “In using photos where the dog’s face was easily seen, he looked whether the dog appeared to be anxious or distressed, relaxed, or showed a neutral response to being hugged.” “He found that around 82 per cent of the photographs showed “unhappy dogs” receiving hugs from their owners or children.”
He said that dogs show signs of distress when they bare their teeth (called a smile when humans do it), turn their heads away from something ( just being bored and looking around), or they partially close their eyes (doesn’t everyone close their eyes when ecstatic?). Another sign of anxiety is when a dog’s ears are lowered or “slicked against the side of his head”. (Stanley, it’s just our coiffure) He also said that licking lips or licking a person’s face can also be a sign of anxiety, like yawning or raising a paw. (I lick when it’s tasty) Coren said the fact that dogs don’t like being hugged can be explained by their behavioural nature.
As “cursorial animals”, (cursorial? I swear I never curse) they are designed for swift running. When stressed, a dog’s first instinct is to run away. It is believed that when they are restricted from moving with a hug, it can increase a dog’s stress level and potentially cause them to bite their owners. (or bite researchers)
It’s not the hugs that stressed the dogs out it was having their pictures taken WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT to be displayed for all the world to see.
So hug away you human-beings and always follow-up with a treat for us dogs (you got your treat with the hug)
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET, CDB
Canine Dog Therapist, Retired and Certified Dog Blogger
SoulPancake and Puppy Chow teamed up to share the #PowerofPuppies at a preschool, retirement home, and gym to transform an otherwise ordinary day. Share http://bit.ly/pwrofppys with someone who needs the power of puppies in their lives! For every video view, Puppy Chow will donate one pound of Puppy Chow Natural to Rescue Bank® (up to 500,000 pounds or until April 23, 2016).
A video of a diver in Thailand rescuing a porcupinefish caught in a net got my attention. I posted it on The HeART of Spirituality to get your attention. (verrrrrrry clever)
It’s not for survival
when I take a drink
It’s for my revival
she says with a wink
This isthe black-blotched porcupinefish. These fish not only can swallow water and raise their spines to make themselves look bigger and fiercer, but they also harbor in their bodies a neurotoxin that contributes to self-defense.
Take a look at a Porcupine fish being rescued while its fish friend watches. Who said fish don’t have feelings!
“Some species are poisonous, having a tetrodotoxin in their internal organs, such as the ovaries and liver. This neurotoxin is at least 1200 times more potent than cyanide. The poison is produced by several types of bacteria obtained from the fish’s diet. As a result of these three defenses, porcupinefish have few predators, although adults are sometimes preyed upon by sharks and killer whales. Juveniles are also preyed on by Lysiosquillina maculata, tuna and dolphins.Wikipedia
“Snowball’s public debut also caught the attention of two scientists at the Neurosciences Institute in La Jolla, Calif.John Iversen and Aniruddh Patel were interested in the evolutionary origins and neuroscience of rhythm and music. At the time, there was no documented evidence that nonhuman animals could dance — or, in more scientific terms, that they could “entrain” their movements to an external beat. “We saw this video, and it really knocked us out — it was the first time we had ever seen this,” Iversen said. “As scientists, you love these kinds of moments.”’
“Iversen and Patel tested Snowball in controlled experiments, altering the tempos of his favorite songs and observing how he responded without any training or encouragement. Snowball danced in bouts, rather than continuously, but frame-by-frame video analysis confirmed that he adapted his movements to the match the altered beats. Soon after, other studies by separate research teams showed that numerous species of parrots could entrain to a beat, as could elephants. Monkeys, on the other hand, did not display much rhythmic talent in the lab.”
“Snowball (TM) is a Medium Sulphur Crested Eleanora Cockatoo that dances to the Back Street Boys and other songs that he rates as having a “very good beat.” He came to Bird Lovers Only Rescue Service, Inc. (a 501c3 not for profit bird rescue and sanctuary) in August 2007 and continues to make us laugh with his fancy footwork. We are currently raising funds to build a bird habitat for Snowball and other birds like him.”
Want to monkey around? just blow with your nose to create a sound that tingles the toes
However, it’s said if a monkey you bed your kids will be hairy swing from the trees blowing their noses and hang by their knees
“Unfortunately, like many of this unusual creatures, this species is classified as endangered. Though an odd face, they’re generally good natured with each other, but due to extensive loss of vegetation, there are only about 1,000 of them left. The government of Borneo has instituted strict penalties for those who kill them in an effort to protect what’s left of the dwindling population.”
If you want to see the PROBOSCISMONKEY’S picture you will have to click here: DOODLEWASH
The Peacock mantis shrimp
is no wimp.
Its rear sways
while the front prays
that its glow
4 inches is enough
to strut it’s stuff
“Some mantis shrimp species are rather romantic, meeting their dream shrimp and staying together for life, which is up to 20 years. These lovebirds share the same burrow, protect their eggs, and help each other in hunting. When particularly aroused during mating rituals, the mantis shrimp will start to fluoresce. This means, you guessed it, they have glow-in-the-dark sex, which more than qualifies them as an uncommon creature.”
Click here to find out why the shrimp is no wimp: doodlewash
“Along with its spiky reddish-brown hairdo, it’s quite a sight to behold. It’s also a bird that you are better off viewing from a safe distance due to its other key characteristic that has earned it’s rather insulting nickname. But it’s an accurate one, as the stinkbird actually does smell like poop.”
judy’s stink bird pome
The Stink bird, if you will is a walking, pecking still Its cow poop smell is just a cover for a liquor lover.
Found a grrrrrrrrreat new blog doodlewash. The artist CHARLIE O’SHIELDSis good AND his subjects are weird and wonderful critters (at least the ones I’ve seen so far) My kinda guy! To make it even better the information he posts about the animals he draws is fascinating.
As those of you who follow my blog know I’ve been in a slump – physically, mentally and creatively. The minute I saw Charlie’s drawings and read about critters . . . well . . . it inspired the poet in me.
judy’s jerboa pome
Long-eared jerboa picky diet of insects nibbles on their feet but spits out their toa
“Caught on video for the first time in 2007, this little creature may look like an odd little rodent, but it’s really quite distinct. There’s no other animal of its exact type on the planet. Looking a bit like a mouse-sized kangaroo, it’s humorously long legs give it the ability to jump over 3 feet (1 meter) high.”
To read the part that inspired my pome ya gotta click here: DOODLEWASH
(Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees – days and days and days and daaaaaaaaaaays of celebration. You can send me gifts in lieu of flowers or cake per my birthday season RULES, #3).
To celebrate I slept-in late . . .
Oh nooooooooooooooooo – I have vertical ridges in my fingernails. So, of course, I googled “fingernail ridges”:
“There are many reasons for ridged nails but the most common is aging,” says Dr. Phoebe Rich, M.D, clinical adjunct professor of dermatology at Oregon Health Science University. “As we age the nail matrix becomes atrophiedin areas resulting in longitudinal ridging of nails. I tell people they are like wrinkles in the nails.”
It’s bad enough that my face is wrinkling . . . my neck is wrinkling . . . and now! my fingernails are wrinkling!
The next thing I know I’ll wake up and I will look like a Shar-pei.
Take a look at the birth! . . . meditative and remarkable!
Green when young, and about the size of an adult human’s hand when full-grown, Dryococelus australis is more commonly known as the Lord Howe Island stick insect, or the tree lobster.
Courtesy of Rohan Cleave/Melbourne Zoo
“The nymph that comes out of the egg is about three times the size of the egg itself,” says Paige Howorth, the San Diego Zoo’s curator of entomology. “It’s just folded up in there like an origami piece or something — it’s amazing.”
It has been claimed that the males and females snooze together, cuddled up in pairs, with the male wrapping his six legs protectively around the female. But Howorth says assuming that the sleep position connotes affection would be premature.
“I don’t know if it means he loves her,” she says, laughing. “I’m not willing to say that.”
My human has been too tired to go on walks. All she wants to do is sit around and I’m getting bored keeping her distracted by petting me. She blames Fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue but I’ve long suspected that she just needs a new career that is exciting. I found the perfect cure – FOR EVERYTHING THAT AILS HER .
There’s a woman in England who (instead of moping around like my human being) got a pair of feathered fans to do a routine in a bar that was holding a cabaret night.
She said: “It was nerve-wracking but exciting . . . I felt alive. . . . Even though she’s not completely cured, her chronic fatigue only flares up every two or three months – lasting at most for a couple of days. “
She’s got big plans for the future . . . She said: “I have signed up with the alternative model agency Ugly, in London and hope to start appearing in magazines and adverts.” (I didn’t tell my human being about “Ugly” because I’m not sure what kind of magazines and adverts want “ugly” . . . )
My human thinks all this is just a ploy to get her to take me on walks. I told her if she didn’t believe me to read this:
Oh my goodness!!!!!!! Go on Safari in Kenya without leaving home for the next 5 days!!!
“The live broadcast HerdTracker is a web-app that plots the precise location of the great wildebeest migration in real time to a Google Map and in a Twitter-style timeline. “The initiative is the result of collaboration between HerdTracker and the government of Kenya’s makeitkenya.com. To watch the broadcasts, register your email address on discoverafrica.com/herdtrackerlive. Then on, you will receive reminders for the live broadcasts, which will be hosted on periscope.tv/herdtracker.”
Mara River Crossings – Great Wildebeest Migration by HerdTracker
What to expect: 1 The annual migration consists of wildebeest, zebra, eland and gazelle 2 Spot big cats, like the lion, leopard or cheetah 3 Get a glimpse of elephant herds 4 Keep an eye out for the endangered black rhino 5 Lastly, watch out for the massive crocodiles that wait for the migration to cross the Mara River
Although it’s officially National Dog Day I am celebrating National Human Day. (Have to toss humans a “bone” every so often)
Human-beings are weird crittersbut we canines love you anyway. We try to take good care of you but, as you know, humans can be stubborn, arbitrary and difficult to train. That’s why most of us prefer to adopt those of you who are already toilet trained, like to walk and can open the refrigerator. But humans who drool, roll around the ground and babble can be fun playmates even when they are as old as my human-being.
Penelope and I met a few years ago. I went for a carton of milk and there she was, an albino pig, in a grocery store. She was in a dangerous situation – it was only time before she ended up on the meat aisle. (OIY VEY) So for $9 I took her home with the milk.
I gave her a bit of color and a bow and she went to live in my therapy office.
Very few clients ever commented on her.I always suspected new clients didn’t quite know what to say and my long-term clients knew me well enough that they didn’t need to say anything.
Penelope retired the same time as Freddie Parker but she still has a lot of good advice:
How to Live Life to the Fullest
by Penelope the Pig, CPT, RET
EAT greedily all the delectable things life gives you.
” But to blessed animals the utmost kindness must be shown, the more the better. Tenderness and loving-kindness are basic principles of God’s heavenly Kingdom. Ye should most carefully bear this matter in mind.”Baha’i World Faith
A 400 lb. black bear wandered into a residential neighborhood in Florida. Black bears half this size have attacked and killed humans across the nation recently … twice in Florida. Wildlife officers sedated the bear to safely relocate him, and that’s when things began to go horribly wrong.”
“The tranquilizer dart sent the bear into a panic and he ran towardsthe saltwater Inland Waterway, evading officers.”“As he swam further and further out, he became drowsy and started to drown.But Adam Warwick, a biologist with the Wildlife Commission, wasn’t about to let that happen. Adam went into the water after the bear… yeah, after a bear … to stop him from going under.”“It was a spur of the moment decision. I had a lot of adrenaline pumping when I saw the helpless bear in the water dying.““He knew the very high risk, considering the powerful bear was scared and could have easily became aggressive to defend itself, killing him with a single swipe or bite. But the bear somehow seemed to know it was in good hands.”“It seemed to become calm when under the man’s control? Adam’s determination finally got the 400 pound wild creature safely back into shallow water.”“Adam suffered only a scratch from the rescue.”“Once they reached the shore, other team members came to help.”“The team was able to use a tractor bucket to transport the poor guy back to his home in Osceola National Forest.”“Adam rode with him back home … a sight you don’t see on the highway every day (neither had a helmet).”“… where he is safe and happy again and has one honking’ story to tell the grand kids.”
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take,
You’ll have to go elsewhere if you want beer, back yard bar-b-ques and fireworks for the Fourth of July. More interesting (to me) is Benjamin Franklin’s letter to his daughter, in which he explains his choice of the turkey, a “bird of courage” for the National Bird instead of the an eagle, a bird of “bad moral character” and “a rank coward” to represent the majesty of our great nation:
“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.”
“With all this injustice, he is never in good case but like those among men who live by sharping & robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our country…”
“. . . For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.” Franklin InstituteRead more: American Myths, Smithsonian Magazine
The next time you come please do not make me look like a hedge-dog*.
Cutting dogs’ fur into perfect cubes, is the latest dog hairdressing trend to sweep Asia. “It is not known where the inspiration for the trend originated, but the look has been cropping up at dog shows around Asia in recent months.”
“Hairdresser Tain Yeh, who runs a parlour in Taipei told the Daily Mail: “It came about because people were always looking for more impressive haircuts, and somebody came up with the idea of shaping the dog like a hedge.”’ (HEDGE!, sounds like the Organic Green Revolution has gone to the dogs) . . . “The dogs don’t mind, (humph!, we are just too polite to complain) and the owners keep coming back for more. This sort of haircut needs a lot more maintenance than the regular type.”
“She warned that the look isn’t one which works for all dogs and has this advice for any British dog owners seeking to emulate the slick cubes: “It is also not suitable for all breeds. The dog needs to have plenty of hair to play around with so that you can shape it around the face and body.” (I’d love to get my paws on a pair of clippers and trim human-beings to look like a poodle . . . or a HEDGE . . . or a . . .)
For those of you aspiring script writers or producers read this article for inspiration . . . a premise for a new reality show – The Real Housewives of the Jungle or . . . for the Food Network – Jungle Cook-off . . . or . . . ?
“If you give a chimp an oven, he or she will learn to cook.”
“That’s what scientists concluded from a study that could help explain how and when early humans first began cooking their food.”
“This suggests that as soon as fire was controlled, cooking could have ramped up,”says Alexandra Rosati, an evolutionary biologist at Yale and a co-author of the study . . . First, the researchers gave the chimps a device that appeared to work like an oven.”
“Before he ate them, Kanzi cooked the vegetables in a pan on his own.”
“When researchers gave them a cooked potato slice, they simply ate it. But when they got a raw carrot, they immediately put it in the device. And their preference for cooked food was so strong that they would hold on to raw potatoes, or carry them to other locations, in order to have them cooked.”
“Previously, chimps and their close cousins, bonobos . . . have been taught to cook by people. But this is the first study showing that animals can acquire a cooking-like skill on their own.”
“The new study suggests that even back then, our ancestors had brains that were ready to barbecue, Wrangham says. “All they needed, I think, would be to see a piece of food drop in the fire, pick it out and realize that it tasted good, and then the cultural transmission of that behavior would spread very quickly,” Wrangham says.”
“The study also offers a reminder that very few behaviors are uniquely human, Wrangham says. “What we’re seeing here is that the chimps are surprisingly similar to humans, even though the whole process of cooking seems like something that is a huge divide between humans and other animals.”
Never heard of “eggcorn”? . . . neither had I but now it’s a new favorite:
“A word or phrase that sounds like and is mistakenly used in a seemingly logical or plausible way for another word or phrase.” Merriam-Webster, which included eggcorn among the more than 1,700 words added to its dictionary this past week
“Spread like wildflowers” is an eggcorn when used instead of “spread like wildfire.”
“Coldslaw” is an eggcorn if you meant “coleslaw.”
“Self phone” is an eggcorn of “cellphone.”
A very smart 4 year old was telling me about getting ready for school each day and he had to remember to take his furnace bottle with him. “Furnace bottle?” I asked. “Yes, you know, a furnace bottle………keeps your soup hot until lunch time………
She seduced him using her “womanly wilds” (womanly wiles).