Creepy, manipulative, terrible hoax or a creative, fun-filled joke?
The positive view is that April Fools’ is good for one’s health because it encourages “jokes, pranks, and belly laughs and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart!
Here are some April 1st pranks pulled on whole populations. You decide if they are creepy or fun-filled:
1957: “Swiss Spaghetti Harvest. The BBC broadcast a film in their Panorama current affairs series purporting to show Swiss farmers picking freshly-grown spaghetti from the family “spaghetti tree”. At the time spaghetti was relatively little known in the UK, so that many Britons were unaware that it is made from wheat flour and water; a number of viewers afterwards contacted the BBC for advice on growing their own spaghetti trees. The BBC was later flooded with requests to purchase a spaghetti plant, forcing them to declare the film a hoax on the news the next day.”
Welcome To Chicago!
1992: “Airline passengers descending into Los Angeles Airport might have experienced a momentary feeling of panic when they looked out the window and saw an 85-foot-long yellow banner on the ground that spelled out, in 20-foot-high red letters, “Welcome to Chicago.” It was raised above the Hollywood Park race track, which lay directly along the flight path for arriving planes, about three miles from the airport.”
1976: “During an early-morning interview on BBC Radio 2, the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced that at 9:47 AM that day a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur. Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, and this planetary alignment would temporarily counteract and lessen the Earth’s own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment the alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, the station began receiving hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman reported that she and her friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room. Moore had intended his annoucement to be a spoof of a pseudoscientific theory that had recently been promoted in a book called The Jupiter Effect, alleging that a rare alignment of the planets was going to cause massive earthquakes and the destruction of Los Angeles in 1982.”
Orange-Bearing Pine Trees
1950: “Motorists driving along the scenic Rim of the World highway near Lake Arrowhead in Southern California encountered something remarkable. All the pine and cedar trees lining the road had grown oranges overnight. The transformation turned out to be the work of the residents of the nearby town of Skyforest, led by the cartoonist Frank Adams. They had crept out during the night and strung 50,000 oranges in the trees along a one-mile section of the highway. The fruit was left over from the recent National Orange Show in San Bernardino.”
1984: “The Orlando Sentinel featured a story about a creature known as the Tasmanian Mock Walrus (or TMW for short) that many people in Florida were said to be adopting as a pet. The creature was four inches long, resembled a walrus, purred like a cat, and had the temperament of a hamster. What made it such an ideal pet was that it never had to be bathed, used a litter box, and ate cockroaches. In fact, a single TMW could entirely rid a house of its cockroach problem. However, the local pest-control industry was said to be pressuring the government to ban TMWs, fearing they would put cockroach exterminators out of business. Dozens of people called the paper trying to find out where they could obtain their own TMW. Skeptics noted that the photo of a TMW accompanying the article showed a creature that looked suspiciously similar to a Naked Mole Rat.”
FAT SOX – Loose Weight from the “bottom” up.
2000: “The Daily Mail revealed that Esporta Health Clubs had launched a new line of socks, dubbed FatSox, designed to help people lose weight. These revolutionary socks actually sucked body fat out of sweating feet, promising to “banish fat for ever.” The American inventor of this weight-loss product, Professor Frank Ellis Elgood, explained that the socks employed a nylon polymer called FloraAstraTetrazine “previously only applied in the nutrition industry.” As a person’s body heat rose and their blood vessels dilated, the socks drew “excess lipid from the body through the sweat.” After having sweated out the fat, the wearer could then simply wash the socks, and the fat, away.”
In Italy, France, Belgium, The Netherlands, and French-speaking areas of Switzerland and Canada, April tradition is often known as “April fish” (poissons d’avril in French, aprilvis in Dutch or pesce d’aprile in Italian).
This includes attempting to attach a paper fish to the victim’s back without being noticed. Many newspapers also spread a false story on April Fools’ Day, and a subtle reference to a fish is sometimes given as a clue.
Click here to Learn WHY WE ARE SO GULLIBLE
It gets better the longer you watch!
Mary Ray’s Heelwork To Music Routine at Crufts 2017
Thank you for responding to my survey. For every response I got a treat.
Here are the top rated areas you’re most interested in reading on CATNIPblog:
Tied for #4
- Quizes to learn about myself
- How to deal with difficult people
- Managing time and commitment
Tied for #3
- How to improve relationships
- Nutrition for brain health
- Finding purpose
No tie for #2
- Stress reduction – be calmer & more relaxed
Tied for #1
- Mood lifters – quick ways to feel happy
- Animal Tails & Tales
- How to “read” other people in order to improve relationships
- Humor – everything is funny seen through the right lens
- How to deal with old age losses – friends, health, purpose
Peggy & Judy’s pick: How to live in retirement in the manner we’d like to become accustomed.
Freddie’s pick: How to get lots of treats without more polls and subscriber drawings.
Maui’s pick: How to achieve alpha-status over Freddie.
IF you haven’t already you can still be entered in my drawing, Click HERE:
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT, RET
Thank you for all your responses to my survey. I got treats for being supportive.
Peggy and my human are excited to launch their new blog CATNIP
I’m getting excited too cuz I’m being supportive and will get treats for my contest.
I keep asking them Why on earth name the new blog CATNIP and not FREDDIE?
According to humans, catnip makes you mellow. (What they don’t know is it drives cats wild with desire.) Peggy & Judy want to help you find your mellow but if it drives you wild with desire for more CATNIP they’ll be pleased.
Peggy and my human each worked for over 210 dog years as Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists. That’s a lot of years. They decided to share what they’ve learned and the tools they’ve taught rather than have all their stuff blindly dumped into a shredder after they’re gone.
So . . . continuing to be supportive . . . I’m sponsoring a contest to help them be successful bloggers, like me.
Everyone who subscribes to
by Saturday, March 18, 2017 will be entered into a drawing and I, Freddie the supportive one, will send the winners a WONDERFUL prize.
Click here to enter!! http://CATNIPblog.com
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to CATNIP so Peggy and my human don’t think I’ve sabotaged them (as retired psychotherapists they are sometimes a bit paranoid).
It’s easy – just enter your e-mail address in the subscribe box at the top right hand corner of the CATNIPBLOG site.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET
P.S. I made them promise to have fun doing CATNIP. I know them . . . if it isn’t fun they won’t do it. So if you pay attention you’ll see some of their original drawings, stories, poems sneak on cat feet into the CATNIPblog.
P.P.S.S. Neither Peggy nor my human are very smart when it comes to technical stuff. Ronna Skinner, graphic designer extraordinaire (not to mention Peggy’s cousin-in-law) helped get the cats Peggy drew, safely perched onto the letters where they can play with “CATNIP” to their hearts content (and not bother me)
I’m trying to be very supportive, however, I think my human is sniffing catnip.
I was really glad she and her friend Peggy Arndt got together because Peggy gives me treats. I was glad when they told me they were collaborating on a new blog where they were going to share the materials and techniques they used to help clients when they were psychotherapists because as a retired Certified Canine Therapist I want everyone to know how to make themselves feel good.
Now I’m upset. They are calling the blog CATNIP because they think catnip makes you feel mellow. If that isn’t bad enough they are dedicating CATNIP to Peggy’s cat Maui.
Personally, I think catnip makes you crazy and the blog should be dedicated to me.
Now that they are both retired they seem to not be doing much of anything except wandering around*. So they don’t go too far astray, I created a survey for them to help them be successful bloggers, like me.
Please fill out my survey for their CATNIP blog!
(You can choose as many areas of interests as you want and when you’re done click “vote”)
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT, RET
*Thank you for your kind response to this most delicate matter.
I’m baaaaaaack . . . sorta . . . missed all my art classes, missed church . . . cancelled The HeART of Spirituality workshop cuz I’ve been feeling puny. (And when I am feeling puny I eat, watch the cooking channel, download recipes and read all I can about what not to eat in the hopes that I will follow that advice.)
The only constructive thing I’ve done is work on the NEW BLOG Catnip with my good friend and colleague Peggy Arndt.
(Peggy is a retired psychotherapist too AND an artist and author. I’ve never caught Peggy feeling puny and eating since she’s within a pound or two of the same weight she was when we were in high school together. If I didn’t like her so much I’d hate her.)
Between the two of us we have amassed decades of information on neuroscience and behavior and relationships . . . and eating . . . and addictions. We’re going to share all that on a new blog called CATNIP (but I digress . . .)
While I was researching for CATNIP this article caught my eye . . . here are some excerpts:
By Barbara J. King*
“The average American eats more than 33 pounds of cheese a year.” (Thirty-three pounds is about the amount of weight I’d like to lose. I need to stop eating my American share of cheese.)
“This is according to Neal Barnard, physician and president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. And that’s a problem, he says, because it’s helping to make us overweight and sick.”
“Loaded with calories, high in sodium, packing more cholesterol than steak, and sprinkled with hormones — if cheese were any worse, it would be Vaseline …”
Some foods are fattening. Others are addictive. Cheese is both — fattening and addictive.”
“Barnard explains that dairy protein — specifically a protein called casein — has opiate molecules built in. When babies nurse, he notes, they’re getting dosed with a mild drug: “Milk contains opiates that reward the baby for nursing.”‘
“It’s no different with the cow’s milk — or other mammalian milk — from which cheese is made. In fact, Barnard says, the process of cheese-making concentrates the casein”
“Call it dairy crack.”
“. . . Barnard notes that vitamin D may play an important role in protecting us against some types of cancers. Citing prostate-cancer data, he suggests that because dairy products are high in calcium and calcium intake can slow down activation of vitamin D, cancer risks may increase with cheese-eating.”
“The National Dairy Council (or cows who would rather be milked than molded into meat patties) does not endorse Barnard’s descriptions of cheese . . . and points to research from Harvard School of Public Health that shows no association between cheese and long-term weight gain.”
“However, if one’s goal is to lose weight, there is something to be said for not teasing yourself with occasional doses of the very food that caused the problem in the first place. (I might add sugar and refined carbs to the list . . . might?) Better to end that bad love affair. If a person is concerned about asthma, migraine, rheumatoid arthritis, or other sensitivities, one soon loses all desire for the food product that caused the problem.” (So far THAT argument hasn’t worked with me.)
(Maybe every time I feel puny I should picture myself eating 33 pounds of VASELINE . . . )
Read the entire article and click HERE.
*Barbara J. King is an anthropology professor emerita at the College of William and Mary. Barbara’s most recent book on animals is titled How Animals Grieve, and her forthcoming book, Personalities on the Plate: The Lives and Minds of Animals We Eat,
The Cheese Trap, How Breaking a Surprising Addiction Will Help You Lose Weight, Gain Energy, and Get Healthy by Neal D., M.d. Barnard, Dreena Burton and Marilu Henner
No further explanation needed . . .
Hug a seal
give it a kiss
all love is real
not hit or miss
Charlie O’s watercolor “Hug a Seal” is charming (Charlie is charming too . . . as is evidenced by the stories he writes to accompany his water-color paintings).
Check it out (there’s a sweet video of a seal hugging a dog) and click here DOODLEWASH
Baby Hippo Fiona is the cutest ever! Mama Bibi and dad Henry probably not so much . . .
“A baby hippopotamus, born prematurely at the Cincinnati Zoo, has struggled to stand, eat, gain weight and breathe.”
“But on Sunday morning, the zoo announced “encouraging news from hippo headquarters.”‘
“Baby hippo Fiona, now in stable condition, has taken her first wobbly steps.”
“Fiona was born at the zoo on Jan. 24, six weeks early. She weighed 29 pounds, when baby hippos are normally 55-120 pounds, the zoo says. She was too weak to stand and couldn’t nurse on her own.”
Read all about Fiona, click HERE!
Dear Human Beings,
Time for my ANNUAL Thanksgiving ‘Ode To Tom’ and tell you what I’m thankful for:
- I’m thankful that I was not born in a country where they eat dogs.
- I’m thankful you are all my best friends!
- I’m thankful for all the treats I get even if I don’t get as many as I deserve
- I’m thankful I am soft and fluffy so people want to pet me
A Turkey’s Tale
by Freddie Parker Westerfield
A turkey named Tom lived on a farm
His story is such, so they say
Waking at dawn
he’d peck at the lawn,
searching for bugs,
nibbling on slugs
of which he was particularly fond.
Then on Thanksgiving day
Gobbledy gobbledy gone!
So if YOU took Tom from off his farm
in the middle of the night
please give him due thanks
for gracing your table. (It’s fitting and only right).
And for all the bugs and many slugs
which make him an organic delight
P.S. I was told to tell you that my Human-being wishes you all things to be grateful for in your life, like she’s grateful for me.
My BEST FRIEND Shari sent me this picture. I think she might be a Turkeytarian . . .
If this isn’t the cutest, weirdest little critter I don’t know what is!
A Puggles Pome
Puggles are the puggliest
Their little snout the ugliest
Cuddle them quick
for when they’re grown
they’ll claw you
and won’t give a lick
“Sydney Zoo is celebrating the arrival of the first baby echidnas, known as puggles, in almost 30 years. The tiny (cute), and incredibly rare Australian mammals, hatched in the summer weighing between 250 and 500 grams. Echidnas, sometimes known as spiny anteaters, lay eggs – which hatch after 10 days. They’re then carried in their mother’s pouches for up to two months.”
The weather is changing
my body rearranging
Help! I’m in a fibro flare
including my hair.
Sharon Bonin Pratt is a writer, an artist and a dear friend. I think she also is psychic. I’ve been not feeling great and the subject of her last post was just what I needed. AND it’s dedicated to ME!!!! What an honor!
Shari inspired me to look for a smile (SEE THE VIDEO).
Here’s a sample from Sharon Bonin Pratt’s Ink Flare:
“Who can laugh without relaxing? Isn’t that why some of us (not me of course, and certainly not you, but other unnamed folks) pee their pants when laughing raucously? Losing all control is not a bad thing, even if you must change your whitie-dities, because when you’re having that much fun – who cares about all the rest? Oh, and it’s contagious! In a good way, not like the flu, but like having enough cup cakes for everyone in the world. So now I not only feel good inside my own world weary bod – I feel good because everyone around me also feels good. Motto for today: Spread cheer – laugh out loud.”
Read her entire post – Sharon Bonin Pratt’s Ink Flare
“The team spotted this Stubby Squid off the coast of California at a depth of 900 meters (2,950 feet). The stubby squid (Rossia pacifica) looks like a cross between an octopus and squid, but is more closely related to cuttlefish. This species spends life on the seafloor, activating a sticky mucus jacket and burrowing into the sediment to camouflage, leaving their eyes poking out to spot prey like shrimp and small fish. Rossia pacifica”
At Judy Formato’s Painting on the Patio (POP) art group the topic of marijuana came up.
Several of the woman, who shall remain anonymous, (we are all well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) admitted to inhaling in their youth. It was a pertinent topic (for those of us well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) relating to pain medication for maladies that come with maturity.
Is this a coincidence, or what? . . . I came home to read this new medical marijuana “MIND” study:
Researcher Staci Gruber is “. . . trying to determine the long and short-term impact of medical marijuana on cognition, brain structure and function, quality of life, sleep, and other clinical measures.
“People drive two to three hours sometimes to get [here for] the study,” Gruber said. “They’re really committed. They really want to know what effect this will have on them.”
“As they wait for long-term results, MIND researchers have made a few interim discoveries. They have found, for example, that marijuana could possibly ease symptoms for people with bipolar disorder and that a medication for strokes and Alzheimer’s disease may reverse the cognitive effects of chronic recreational marijuana use.”
Perhaps our POP group could volunteer – we can drive and are VERY committed women.
I think we qualify.
Oh, by the way, here’s what I painted at POP.
I wonder why they don’t use rats for this study – they use them for all the others?
My human has been laying around the house all week. You’ve probably noticed she’s not been commenting on her blog or responding to e-mails. She overdid it at her last workshop and has been dog-tired ever since.
Humans are cute, not very smart and take a lot of patience on our part. Just when I think she’s trained she gets loose and I have no idea where she goes or what she gets into. All I know is she comes limping home.
She looks a bit dog-eared.
Usually she can pick up the scent and find her way back but if you see her loose on the street don’t call human-control, just bring her home in time for my dinner.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
Dear Linda B.,
Thank you for sending me a video of Jumpy the dog. All us canines can do all this, we just don’t want to. We prefer to conserve our energy for healing rather than performing.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET.
No energy to write my usual pithy posts . . . but here’s a Snowy Owl worth the visit:
“We followed a young owl named Baltimore’s PRECISE route from a beach in Maryland to an island in Canada.”
Dear Human Beings,
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, believe everything you read. This article is a case in point:
“PET owners beware — new research has revealed that dogs don’t like hugs from their owners, which can make them (the owners?) more stressed out.”
“According to new research published in Psychology Today, Stanley Coren from the University of British Columbia, said dogs respond differently to humans who seek comfort from hugging others.”
“Coren, who studies canine behaviour, analysed a random sample of 250 pictures of humans hugging their dogs that he could find online through Flickr and a Google image search.” (skewed data – he left out Pintrest and Instagram where the animal pictures are more photogenic)
“In using photos where the dog’s face was easily seen, he looked whether the dog appeared to be anxious or distressed, relaxed, or showed a neutral response to being hugged.”
“He found that around 82 per cent of the photographs showed “unhappy dogs” receiving hugs from their owners or children.”
He said that dogs show signs of distress when they bare their teeth (called a smile when humans do it), turn their heads away from something ( just being bored and looking around), or they partially close their eyes (doesn’t everyone close their eyes when ecstatic?).
Another sign of anxiety is when a dog’s ears are lowered or “slicked against the side of his head”. (Stanley, it’s just our coiffure)
He also said that licking lips or licking a person’s face can also be a sign of anxiety, like yawning or raising a paw. (I lick when it’s tasty)
Coren said the fact that dogs don’t like being hugged can be explained by their behavioural nature.
As “cursorial animals”, (cursorial? I swear I never curse) they are designed for swift running. When stressed, a dog’s first instinct is to run away.
It is believed that when they are restricted from moving with a hug, it can increase a dog’s stress level and potentially cause them to bite their owners. (or bite researchers)
It’s not the hugs that stressed the dogs out it was having their pictures taken WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT to be displayed for all the world to see.
So hug away you human-beings and always follow-up with a treat for us dogs (you got your treat with the hug)
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET, CDB
Canine Dog Therapist, Retired and Certified Dog Blogger
SoulPancake and Puppy Chow teamed up to share the #PowerofPuppies at a preschool, retirement home, and gym to transform an otherwise ordinary day. Share http://bit.ly/pwrofppys with someone who needs the power of puppies in their lives! For every video view, Puppy Chow will donate one pound of Puppy Chow Natural to Rescue Bank® (up to 500,000 pounds or until April 23, 2016).
A video of a diver in Thailand rescuing a porcupinefish caught in a net got my attention. I posted it on The HeART of Spirituality to get your attention. (verrrrrrry clever)
It’s not for survival
when I take a drink
It’s for my revival
she says with a wink
This is the black-blotched porcupinefish. These fish not only can swallow water and raise their spines to make themselves look bigger and fiercer, but they also harbor in their bodies a neurotoxin that contributes to self-defense.
Take a look at a Porcupine fish being rescued while its fish friend watches. Who said fish don’t have feelings!
“Some species are poisonous, having a tetrodotoxin in their internal organs, such as the ovaries and liver. This neurotoxin is at least 1200 times more potent than cyanide. The poison is produced by several types of bacteria obtained from the fish’s diet. As a result of these three defenses, porcupinefish have few predators, although adults are sometimes preyed upon by sharks and killer whales. Juveniles are also preyed on by Lysiosquillina maculata, tuna and dolphins. Wikipedia
And read about the nanofish cleaning out YOUR body here!
plus another pome . . .
Better to give life than eat it.
This watercolor by Kathrin Werner made me smile. Happy Easter and beyond!
Kathi also has the best blog series – She’s created an alligator with attitude named Benni:
“As the landlord had forgotten to tell the other guests that Benni was a vegetarian, hardly anybody did sleep in that night.”
and you can brush up on your German when you read her blog:
“Außer Benni schlief keiner. Der Hüttenwirt hatte vergessen den anderen Gäste zu sagen, dass Benni Vegetarier war.”
Click here: KathrinsWorld
P.S. She even has an ETSY shop
“Snowball’s public debut also caught the attention of two scientists at the Neurosciences Institute in La Jolla, Calif. John Iversen and Aniruddh Patel were interested in the evolutionary origins and neuroscience of rhythm and music. At the time, there was no documented evidence that nonhuman animals could dance — or, in more scientific terms, that they could “entrain” their movements to an external beat. “We saw this video, and it really knocked us out — it was the first time we had ever seen this,” Iversen said. “As scientists, you love these kinds of moments.”’
“Iversen and Patel tested Snowball in controlled experiments, altering the tempos of his favorite songs and observing how he responded without any training or encouragement. Snowball danced in bouts, rather than continuously, but frame-by-frame video analysis confirmed that he adapted his movements to the match the altered beats. Soon after, other studies by separate research teams showed that numerous species of parrots could entrain to a beat, as could elephants. Monkeys, on the other hand, did not display much rhythmic talent in the lab.”
“Snowball (TM) is a Medium Sulphur Crested Eleanora Cockatoo that dances to the Back Street Boys and other songs that he rates as having a “very good beat.” He came to Bird Lovers Only Rescue Service, Inc. (a 501c3 not for profit bird rescue and sanctuary) in August 2007 and continues to make us laugh with his fancy footwork. We are currently raising funds to build a bird habitat for Snowball and other birds like him.”
Hairy Pome by judy
Have you not heard
of the elusive Kingfisher bird?
When it is hatched
it sports a moustache
Thank goodness there’s no beard
that would be weird
Read more about this birdie at doodlewash
Want to monkey around?
just blow with your nose
to create a sound
that tingles the toes
However, it’s said
if a monkey you bed
your kids will be hairy
swing from the trees
blowing their noses
and hang by their knees
“Unfortunately, like many of this unusual creatures, this species is classified as endangered. Though an odd face, they’re generally good natured with each other, but due to extensive loss of vegetation, there are only about 1,000 of them left. The government of Borneo has instituted strict penalties for those who kill them in an effort to protect what’s left of the dwindling population.”
If you want to see the PROBOSCIS MONKEY’S picture you will have to click here: DOODLEWASH
The Peacock mantis shrimp
is no wimp.
Its rear sways
while the front prays
that its glow
4 inches is enough
to strut it’s stuff
“Some mantis shrimp species are rather romantic, meeting their dream shrimp and staying together for life, which is up to 20 years. These lovebirds share the same burrow, protect their eggs, and help each other in hunting. When particularly aroused during mating rituals, the mantis shrimp will start to fluoresce. This means, you guessed it, they have glow-in-the-dark sex, which more than qualifies them as an uncommon creature.”
Click here to find out why the shrimp is no wimp: doodlewash
“Along with its spiky reddish-brown hairdo, it’s quite a sight to behold. It’s also a bird that you are better off viewing from a safe distance due to its other key characteristic that has earned it’s rather insulting nickname. But it’s an accurate one, as the stinkbird actually does smell like poop.”
judy’s stink bird pome
The Stink bird, if you will
is a walking, pecking still
Its cow poop smell
is just a cover
for a liquor lover.
Wanna know why it stinks? Ya gotta click here: DOODLEWASH Sinkbird
Found a grrrrrrrrreat new blog doodlewash. The artist CHARLIE O’SHIELDS is good AND his subjects are weird and wonderful critters (at least the ones I’ve seen so far) My kinda guy! To make it even better the information he posts about the animals he draws is fascinating.
As those of you who follow my blog know I’ve been in a slump – physically, mentally and creatively. The minute I saw Charlie’s drawings and read about critters . . . well . . . it inspired the poet in me.
judy’s jerboa pome
picky diet of insects
nibbles on their feet
but spits out their toa
“Caught on video for the first time in 2007, this little creature may look like an odd little rodent, but it’s really quite distinct. There’s no other animal of its exact type on the planet. Looking a bit like a mouse-sized kangaroo, it’s humorously long legs give it the ability to jump over 3 feet (1 meter) high.”
To read the part that inspired my pome ya gotta click here: DOODLEWASH
(Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees – days and days and days and daaaaaaaaaaays of celebration. You can send me gifts in lieu of flowers or cake per my birthday season RULES, #3).
To celebrate I slept-in late . . .
Oh nooooooooooooooooo – I have vertical ridges in my fingernails. So, of course, I googled “fingernail ridges”:
“There are many reasons for ridged nails but the most common is aging,” says Dr. Phoebe Rich, M.D, clinical adjunct professor of dermatology at Oregon Health Science University. “As we age the nail matrix becomes atrophied in areas resulting in longitudinal ridging of nails. I tell people they are like wrinkles in the nails.”
It’s bad enough that my face is wrinkling . . . my neck is wrinkling . . . and now! my fingernails are wrinkling!
The next thing I know I’ll wake up and I will look like a Shar-pei.
Giant Tree Lobsters were thought to be extinct until discovered on a remote island near Australia. And it’s not a hoax . . . like the Tree Octopus.
To read about their “romantic” come back and take a look at what they look like full-grown click here: Meet the Tree Lobster, back from the brink
Take a look at the birth! . . . meditative and remarkable!
Green when young, and about the size of an adult human’s hand when full-grown, Dryococelus australis is more commonly known as the Lord Howe Island stick insect, or the tree lobster.
Courtesy of Rohan Cleave/Melbourne Zoo
“The nymph that comes out of the egg is about three times the size of the egg itself,” says Paige Howorth, the San Diego Zoo’s curator of entomology. “It’s just folded up in there like an origami piece or something — it’s amazing.”
It has been claimed that the males and females snooze together, cuddled up in pairs, with the male wrapping his six legs protectively around the female. But Howorth says assuming that the sleep position connotes affection would be premature.
“I don’t know if it means he loves her,” she says, laughing. “I’m not willing to say that.”
I have a reputation, among those who know me, to have an “interesting” sense of humor. Even though How to Cook A Turkey with 500 degree heat sounds like a joke IT IS NO JOKE.
- Pre Heat oven 500 degrees (this is not a typo)
- Clean the bird
- Throw it into a covered container – put on lid or aluminum foil
- Do not add ANYTHING to the pot and/or the bird.
- Do NOT baste or look at until time is up (you will hear burbling, don’t worry, by the time you hear burbling the turkey is dead)
- Bake (and I do mean BAKE), 7 minutes per pound, unstuffed at 500 degrees FARENHEIT
- 7 1/2 minutes per pound, stuffed
- Yes, it comes out brown and beautiful.
- No, it is moist and delicious
- I always put the stuffing in a casserole rather than the turkey – others have stuffed the bird and said it was great.
- Yes, it will smell like Thanksgiving not like a house-on-fire.
- No, PETA would not endorse this because it is more humane . . . for the cook
- Yes! 500 degrees. It is not a typo
- Yes, 7 minutes a pound
My Dear Human Beings and other critters,
My human has been too tired to go on walks. All she wants to do is sit around and I’m getting bored keeping her distracted by petting me. She blames Fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue but I’ve long suspected that she just needs a new career that is exciting. I found the perfect cure – FOR EVERYTHING THAT AILS HER .
There’s a woman in England who (instead of moping around like my human being) got a pair of feathered fans to do a routine in a bar that was holding a cabaret night.
She said: “It was nerve-wracking but exciting . . . I felt alive. . . . Even though she’s not completely cured, her chronic fatigue only flares up every two or three months – lasting at most for a couple of days. “
She’s got big plans for the future . . . She said: “I have signed up with the alternative model agency Ugly, in London and hope to start appearing in magazines and adverts.” (I didn’t tell my human being about “Ugly” because I’m not sure what kind of magazines and adverts want “ugly” . . . )
My human thinks all this is just a ploy to get her to take me on walks. I told her if she didn’t believe me to read this:
A hair-raising video worth watching!
Oh my goodness!!!!!!! Go on Safari in Kenya without leaving home for the next 5 days!!!
“The live broadcast HerdTracker is a web-app that plots the precise location of the great wildebeest migration in real time to a Google Map and in a Twitter-style timeline. “The initiative is the result of collaboration between HerdTracker and the government of Kenya’s makeitkenya.com.
To watch the broadcasts, register your email address on discoverafrica.com/herdtrackerlive. Then on, you will receive reminders for the live broadcasts, which will be hosted on periscope.tv/herdtracker.”
Mara River Crossings – Great Wildebeest Migration by HerdTracker
What to expect:
1 The annual migration consists of wildebeest, zebra, eland and gazelle
2 Spot big cats, like the lion, leopard or cheetah
3 Get a glimpse of elephant herds
4 Keep an eye out for the endangered black rhino
5 Lastly, watch out for the massive crocodiles that wait for the migration to cross the Mara River
“Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment”
~ in a very wise fortune cookie
Although it’s officially National Dog Day I am celebrating National Human Day. (Have to toss humans a “bone” every so often)
Human-beings are weird critters but we canines love you anyway. We try to take good care of you but, as you know, humans can be stubborn, arbitrary and difficult to train. That’s why most of us prefer to adopt those of you who are already toilet trained, like to walk and can open the refrigerator. But humans who drool, roll around the ground and babble can be fun playmates even when they are as old as my human-being.
Do me a favor and click on The Greater Good – Animal Rescue Site. It’s free and every click helps all my buddies. (There are also some Greater Good Sites that help Human Beings.)
And since It’s Freddie’s National Human Being Day treat yourself to a walk, a nap and something to chew on.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
Penelope and I met a few years ago. I went for a carton of milk and there she was, an albino pig, in a grocery store. She was in a dangerous situation – it was only time before she ended up on the meat aisle. (OIY VEY) So for $9 I took her home with the milk.
I gave her a bit of color and a bow and she went to live in my therapy office.
How to Live Life to the Fullest
by Penelope the Pig, CPT, RET
EAT greedily all the delectable things life gives you.
WALLOW in what’s soothing & cool.
SNORT at those who are not loving.
CELEBRATE how delicious you are.
PRAY you will not be eaten before your time.
May you all PIG OUT on LOVE,
Certified Pig Therapist, Retired
My contribution to science . . . for today.
NPR SkunkBear channel
Thanks Linda B!
“This black teacup poodle named Nala is making everyone smile at a nursing home in Minnesota. She scurries from room to room, even riding the elevator by herself, to see her friends.”
Thanks Linda B.!!!!!!
” But to blessed animals the utmost kindness must be shown, the more the better. Tenderness and loving-kindness are basic principles of God’s heavenly Kingdom. Ye should most carefully bear this matter in mind.” Baha’i World Faith
A 400 lb. black bear wandered into a residential neighborhood in Florida. Black bears half this size have attacked and killed humans across the nation recently … twice in Florida. Wildlife officers sedated the bear to safely relocate him, and that’s when things began to go horribly wrong.”
You’ll have to go elsewhere if you want beer, back yard bar-b-ques and fireworks for the Fourth of July. More interesting (to me) is Benjamin Franklin’s letter to his daughter, in which he explains his choice of the turkey, a “bird of courage” for the National Bird instead of the an eagle, a bird of “bad moral character” and “a rank coward” to represent the majesty of our great nation:
“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.”
“With all this injustice, he is never in good case but like those among men who live by sharping & robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our country…”
“. . . For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America… He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.” Franklin Institute Read more: American Myths, Smithsonian Magazine
I leave you with the sublime
Download “Amazing Grace” by Condoleezza Rice and Jenny Oaks Baker on iTunes: http://apple.co/1LElsTB
All proceeds will be donated to the Wounded Warriors Project.
Dear Chris, Maws & Paws, My personal Groomer – Human Being,
The next time you come please do not make me look like a hedge-dog*.
Cutting dogs’ fur into perfect cubes, is the latest dog hairdressing trend to sweep Asia. “It is not known where the inspiration for the trend originated, but the look has been cropping up at dog shows around Asia in recent months.”
“Hairdresser Tain Yeh, who runs a parlour in Taipei told the Daily Mail: “It came about because people were always looking for more impressive haircuts, and somebody came up with the idea of shaping the dog like a hedge.”’ (HEDGE!, sounds like the Organic Green Revolution has gone to the dogs) . . . “The dogs don’t mind, (humph!, we are just too polite to complain) and the owners keep coming back for more. This sort of haircut needs a lot more maintenance than the regular type.”
“She warned that the look isn’t one which works for all dogs and has this advice for any British dog owners seeking to emulate the slick cubes: “It is also not suitable for all breeds. The dog needs to have plenty of hair to play around with so that you can shape it around the face and body.” (I’d love to get my paws on a pair of clippers and trim human-beings to look like a poodle . . . or a HEDGE . . . or a . . .)
If you don’t believe me read it here: Japanese People are Grooming their Dogs into Perfect Cubes
*Frankly, I prefer the round look when I’m groomed
See you soon Chris!
P.S. Chris, please bring treats
Dear Aunt Jane, Human Being,
Thank you for sending me this video. It’s obvious that this dog is performing solely out of fear of being stabbed by the thing on her head. Otherwise, there’s no explanation for it.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Canine Dog
Dogdance Freestyle – Sandra & Lizzy
For those of you aspiring script writers or producers read this article for inspiration . . . a premise for a new reality show – The Real Housewives of the Jungle or . . . for the Food Network – Jungle Cook-off . . . or . . . ?
“If you give a chimp an oven, he or she will learn to cook.”
“That’s what scientists concluded from a study that could help explain how and when early humans first began cooking their food.”
“This suggests that as soon as fire was controlled, cooking could have ramped up,” says Alexandra Rosati, an evolutionary biologist at Yale and a co-author of the study . . . First, the researchers gave the chimps a device that appeared to work like an oven.”
“When researchers gave them a cooked potato slice, they simply ate it. But when they got a raw carrot, they immediately put it in the device. And their preference for cooked food was so strong that they would hold on to raw potatoes, or carry them to other locations, in order to have them cooked.”
“The study also offers a reminder that very few behaviors are uniquely human, Wrangham says. “What we’re seeing here is that the chimps are surprisingly similar to humans, even though the whole process of cooking seems like something that is a huge divide between humans and other animals.”
Read the entire article by Jon Hamilton:
Never heard of “eggcorn”? . . . neither had I but now it’s a new favorite:
“A word or phrase that sounds like and is mistakenly used in a seemingly logical or plausible way for another word or phrase.” Merriam-Webster, which included eggcorn among the more than 1,700 words added to its dictionary this past week
- “Spread like wildflowers” is an eggcorn when used instead of “spread like wildfire.”
- “Coldslaw” is an eggcorn if you meant “coleslaw.”
- “Self phone” is an eggcorn of “cellphone.”
- A very smart 4 year old was telling me about getting ready for school each day and he had to remember to take his furnace bottle with him. “Furnace bottle?” I asked. “Yes, you know, a furnace bottle………keeps your soup hot until lunch time………
- She seduced him using her “womanly wilds” (womanly wiles).
- “For all Intensive Purpose“
“Eggcorn” itself is an eggcorn. Linguist Geoffrey Pullum is credited with coming up the word, which is the way some people say “acorn.”
click to read other eggcorns which pass the mustard
Senor Wences always made me smile and NOW herrrrrrrrrrrrres Wendy! To quote Sharon Bonin- Pratt “Whoowhee! Wowzers! Whoop dee doo! Won’erful won’erful!”
“Marc Metral has a unique bit he does with his dog, Wendy. When he brings her out on stage, the audience and judges are skeptical about her ability to talk. But once she starts singing, the entire audience loses it.”
“The Vampire squid from hell
is actually rather quite swell
He doesn’t suck blood
or lurk in the mud
but in chilly, dark waters drifts free
where he never eats meats
just low-calorie treats
that sink toward the bottom of the sea
A sighting is transforming
But here’s a forewarning
always go in the morning
and certainly not on a whim
For late at night you’ll die from fright
especially if you can’t swim
The scientific name for the species, Vampyroteuthis infernalis, translates to “vampire squid from hell,” but the animal’s behavior isn’t all that intimidating.
“Vampire squid drift in chilly, dark waters with low oxygen levels up to 9,800 feet (3,000 meters) below the surface. They have a low metabolism and they eat low-calorie foods — mostly “marine snow,” or clumps of particles, that sink down the water column.”
The new findings were published in the journal Current Biology.”