Category Archives: Creative Expressions

All things creative

Dirty Words

 I don’t often repost word for word, much less “dirty word” for “dirty word”.  This was so thought-provoking and well written . . .  well,  read for yourself . . . (words by Sharon, color high-lighting and pictures by me)

Dirty words. Stub my toe on the sharp metal caster and you’ll hear me spew lots of dirty words. Crap, kocker, damn it, dreck. It hurt, damn it, I’m allowed to holler, and I don’t have to be nice about it. In English and Yiddish, I holler all the bad words. Feckuckteh caster.

Lenny Bruce, the rebellious comedian who loaded his dark comedy with language considered obscene, made seven particular words famous by virtue of their being too dirty to speak aloud. So of course he did, and was arrested for his defiance. Cover your eyes if you’re the sensitive sort because I’m going to list them here: cocksucker, cunt, fuck, motherfucker, piss, shit, tits. Bruce’s real crime was pointing out the hypocrisies of our culture but the words got him in trouble. He was too vulgar for polite society, no matter that society was too brutal for the underrepresented and downtrodden. Bruce was no angel, and many people lost sight of his legitimate demand for free speech, the very thing we now take for granted. Today, his seven dirty words hardly raise an eyebrow, so often are they hollered through the night.

An infant’s first word is “mama” or whatever word in her native language aligns with that individual. Fathers have been trying forever to get the first word to be “dada.” But the first word ever uttered by the very first human who found she had a voice box that allowed more verbalization than a huff, grunt, or yowl? It was “fuck.” Had to be – standing small and alone in the African desert, she found the world terrifying, she saw her life in peril, and she said what we all say at such realization. “Fuck.”

Here are dirtier words, much dirtier:  abandonment, abuse, arson, betrayal, bigotry, deceit, drug trafficking, exploitation, false accusation, forced starvation, genocide, holocaust, human experimentation, human rights suppression, human trafficking, incest, lying, misogyny, murder, prejudice, racism, rape, religious persecution, sexism, slavery, terrorism, theft, torture, war, xenophobia – sadly, I’m certain there are more. This is the real dirty language. Still, language is benign. Add music and every word sounds like sugar being spun into cotton candy. To be offended by dirty words but ignore the acts they identify is akin to disdaining the menu but still ordering awful food.

You can put in all the asterisks, ellipses, blank spaces, bird calls, or underlines you want in order to grant your writing a measure of gentility, but face the facts. You may swear upon your holy books, mutter amens and hosannas, grovel on your knees, pledge your honor, and promise repentance. None of it means a thing without follow through. Every writer, humanitarian, philosopher –  every decent person accepts the same truth. Words are harmless, scratches in the dust even when howled under duress. It’s the acts that are horrific, and the reality that these acts take place every single day all over the world – the acts are far worse. More hurtful, longer lasting, intentional.

Writing these words does not make writing a bad act. Writing them brings the implied actions to the attention of a public that often wants to hide behind prayers, lattes, and cell phones. There is no indecency in words. The indecency is in the fact that so many engage in the actions described by the words. When we eliminate these bad acts so completely that to say one of these words engenders genuine confusion among all people – what does that mean? I can’t understand words that don’t relate to the human condition anywhere in the world– then we can label them as really bad words.

Words can lead the ignorant to understand the complexity of past events, so write. Words can warn or instruct, so write. Write the truth in any and every way you can. Employ words that hoist power, and worry little about words that bear no weight. Even if they’re ugly. Worry about acts that injure, abuse, kill, threaten, maim, enslave, bludgeon. If the dirty words you write make someone see the other side, feel the pain, and change their behavior, you’ve done your job. If the dirty words you raise on a poster cause the government to enforce justice, you’ve done your job. If the dirty words you speak arouse the pulse of the apathetic public and encourage them to find out the truth for themselves, you’ve done your job.

Call me a dirty girl. I yearn to be that and more. I will not stand down. The only thing I own is my integrity. Pen to paper. Truth to power.

Here in fact are the very most vile, horrendous, and disgusting words in English, and they can be translated into any language and still carry the same inherent evil. I hold out my hands for the cuffs. Arrest me. These are the dirtiest three:

GUILTY AS CHARGED

(Check out Sharon’s Blog: Ink Flare)

National Pink Day, June 23

Brain research is clear – our thoughts trigger the neurochemical flood of emotion.  Think negatively and you will feel anxious or fearful.  Think positively and you’ll be flooded with the neurochemistry for happiness, contentment or love.

Life need not be fraught

with negative thought

“This too shall pass

half full is my glass”

“It’s bright and sunny

all milk and honey”

“It will be ok . . . 

on another day”

That’s  how to think

to be in the pink

Thinking Pink by judy

Read these for information on the research:

Worry your life away – literally

Research shows you will be happier for 3 months – Music to my ears

5 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO CHEER UP QUICKLY, ACCORDING TO NEUROSCIENCE

Sneek a Peek into my Sketchy Life – last ditch efforts

Last day of life drawing for this semester.  I’ve missed several classes, something I would have been loathe to do in my high school and college years when I never ditched nor dropped a class.

I distinctly remember the first time I stopped attending a class simply because I no longer enjoyed it.   Wish I could say it was a daring and rebellious move . . .  it was a community college class that I was taking  just for enjoyment.  I was in my 40’s and high time for a bit of rebellion . . . don’t you think?

But I digress . . .  here’s the best of the last sketches . . . in my opinion

Starting with my favorite

Caught the likeness of both his front and his back . . . 

All these sketches were 20 minutes or less.  I’ve discovered that my attention span is smack dab in the national average of 20 minutes.  Ah . . . the things you learn in drawing class.

My Sketchy Life – hatch, hatched, hatching

Ai yi yiii – ever look up a word in the on-line “Urban Dictionary”?

I looked up “hatch” and was “blown away” by the uses . . . many of which I can not put in print on a G-rated blog . . . most of which I had never heard of nor heard spoken.

Why look up “hatch”, you wonder (or not)?  In art class the focus was on hatching – an art technique where lines are drawn in various forms & intensities to create shapes & shadow.

These two quick sketches were done prior to Easter.   Eureka! I thought: Hatching and eggs were perfect for an Easter blog post.

Then I got “hatched” – another fibromyalgia flare-up and I missed a week’s worth of art classes.

I’m still not feeling good and not pleased health issues keep hatching . . . but this chick got off her fibro-inflated rear and went to class this week.  

HatchVerb – To lose it; to get wound up over something; to be upset.

I’ve been hatching . . .

P.S.  Thanks Peggy A. for doing all the scheduled posting on CATNIPblog!  

Sneek a Peek into my Sketchy Life – lumps & gore

My paper got all wrinkly and lumpy – I put water on it and it wasn’t water-color paper – though the model was smooth and svelte

(and young) 

The model got all wrinkly cuz I drew him that way.

The model posed as if he was chained to a pole and he put a fake arrow through his chest.  I eliminated all the gory imagery.  There’s enough pain and suffering in this world and I refuse to draw it even if it’s imaginary.

The HeART of Spirituality Workshop – Finding Balance

How can we find balance in the chaos that surrounds us?  This was the question at the recent HeART of Spirituality workshops held at Tapestry Unitarian.

“As ye have faith so shall your powers and blessings be. This is the balance—this is the balance—this is the balance.” – Baha’i World Religion 

The participants picked images that represented spiritual balance and spiritual imbalance and made collaged Contemplation Cards.  Similar to tarot cards or vision boards these cards can be used in many ways.  

Can you tell which cards represent BALANCE and which represent IMBALANCE?  See all the cards on  CATNIPblog.

To see all the Contemplation Cards,  a picture of the participants and directions how to make the cards click HERE.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 3:1-8

  1. 1 To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
  2. 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted;
  3. 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
  4. 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
  5. 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
  6. 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
  7. 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
  8. 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Sneak a Peek into my Sketchy life . . . my favorite model

She is almost more attractive nude than clothed . . . which none of us students can say about ourselves!

A few 10 minute and 20 minute poses

 She is Rubenesque and fun to sketch.  I think she has the most sensual body of all the models we’ve had.

 

How to get happy in a hurry

Today is the International Day of HAPPINESS.  What’a coincidence!  Peggy & I have been posting about how to feel happier on our new CATNIPblog.com

Here’s a taste of CATNIP”

Feel’n F el INE by Peggy

There are studies which indicate happiness is over-rated and we should strive instead for contentment.  I say we should strive for happiness and be grateful when we are simply content.  

How to get happy in a hurry, according to neuroscience

From the book The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by UCLA neuroscience researcher Alex Korb

Know what Prozac does? It boosts the neurotransmitter serotonin. So does gratitude!

1. “Write a running gratitude list or simply ask yourself what you’re grateful forA warm house, a pet you love,  new shoes, a cellphone – doesn’t matter how big or small.  Gratitude boosts both dopamine and serotonin, the two most powerful neurotransmitter chemicals involved in giving you a feeling of calm and well-being.”

“Don’t worry if you can’t immediately find things to be grateful for. The mental search for gratitude alone will begin to elevate the level of those pleasure chemicals”.

2. Label negative feelings.Simply saying to yourself “I’m sad” or “I’m anxious” almost too easy for happiness.  Yet in one fMRI study – ‘Putting Feelings into Words,’ participants viewed pictures of people with emotional facial expressions. Each participant’s amygdala [the brain’s fight-or-flight alarm bell] activated to the emotions in the picture. But when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.”

3.  Make a decision. Just deciding to do something can reduce worry and anxiety right away.  “Making decisions includes creating intentions and setting goals – all three are part of the same neural circuitry and engage the prefrontal cortex in a positive way, reducing worry and anxiety.”

“Making decisions also helps overcome striatum activity, which can pull you toward negative impulses and routines. Finally, making decisions changes your perception of the world – finding solutions to your problems and calming the limbic system.

“And you don’t have to worry about making the “right” decision?  The “good enough” decision is good enough to make our brains go into at-ease mode.  AND you can decide not to decide or change your decision!”

4.  Touch people, appropriately! This is one of the easiest ways to release oxytocin  which is the pleasure-inducing ‘cuddle chemical’]   It can be as simple as a handshake or a pat on the back.

“A hug is the best but if you don’t have anybody to hug get a massage which has been shown to boost your serotonin by as much as 30 percent. Massage also decreases stress hormones and raises dopamine levels.”

Take a look at more CATNIP “Happy-How-To” posts! Just click for a specific post or get them all by clicking CATNIPblog

Falling Waters & Rising Spirits

Research Shows You’ll be Happier for 3 Months

Meditation can reduce depression symptoms by 40%

How to Snack Your Way to Mental Clarity

Sneek a Peek into my Sketchy Life, G-Rated

The art teacher instructed us to focus on whatever gets our attention and then exaggerate it.  Tall order . . . . .  especially since this blog is G-rated for General Audiences.

(These are just for you Rick C.!)

Can you tell what “caught” my eye in each pose?*

The three sketches are all charcoal “quickies” – about 10 to 15 minutes each. DSCN6865

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“Quickie?  What’s a “quickie”?

*Answers:  

Sketch #1 – focus, the shadows (last pose, I was tired and they were what I responded to)

Sketch #2 – focus, his arm (exaggerated proportion – he has large muscular arms)

Sketch #3 – focus, his chest . . . this one’s fairly obvious.  

Sneek a Peek into my Sketchy Life – Life imitates Art

Not too very long ago, I thought that really good artists (writers included) got it exactly right the moment they laid pencil to paper.  When I write posts I spend exponentially more time editing than on the first draft.  When I draw I correct and correct and correct some more. 

Not too very long ago, I learned that this is what 90% of artists, writers, dancers, singers etc. do . . .  adjust, correct, redo, undo . . . and it never will be perfect.  It’s knowing when to stop and move on.

It’s a great metaphor for life.  We keep adjusting, correcting and practicing, knowing we can’t get it perfect . . . just better.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this model.  She has curves.  

Much more fun to draw than muscle & bone.

Warm-up poses, 5 minutes

Sneek a Peek into my Sketchy Life – Suburban Sketches

There’s a phenomena going on in the sketching world called Urban Sketching.  People, from all over the world, gather in public places and sketch whatever is in front of them .  

You sketch fast, just trying to get an impression rather than an exact likeness.  Coffee shops are a favorite place for Urban Sketchers because the people aren’t moving quite as quickly as on the street or a football field.

I live in the suburbs where life is a bit slower and so is the sketching. Here’s a few of my

suburban sketches.

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Students in my drawing class

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Woman waiting and waiting and waiting . . .

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Whoops, wrong suburb

Am I Addicted to Dairy Crack? (parenthetically speaking. . . )

I’m baaaaaaack . . . sorta . . . missed all my art classes, missed church . . . cancelled The HeART of Spirituality workshop cuz I’ve been feeling puny.  (And when I am feeling puny I eat,  watch the cooking channel, download recipes and read all I can about what not to eat in the hopes that I will follow that advice.)

The only constructive thing I’ve done is work on the NEW BLOG Catnip with my good friend and colleague Peggy Arndt.  

(Peggy is a retired psychotherapist too AND an artist and author.  I’ve never caught Peggy feeling puny and eating since she’s within a pound or two of the same weight she was when we were in high school together.  If I didn’t like her so much I’d hate her.)  

Between the two of us we have amassed decades of information on neuroscience and behavior and relationships . . .  and eating . . . and addictions.  We’re going to share all that on a new blog called CATNIP (but I digress . . .)

While I was researching for CATNIP this article caught my eye . . .   here are some excerpts:

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cow by judy

The Case Against Dairy Crack

By Barbara J. King*

“The average American eats more than 33 pounds of cheese a year.”  (Thirty-three pounds is about the amount of weight I’d like to lose.  I need to stop eating my American share of cheese.)

“This is according to Neal Barnard, physician and president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. And that’s a problem, he says, because it’s helping to make us overweight and sick.”

“Loaded with calories, high in sodium, packing more cholesterol than steak, and sprinkled with hormones — if cheese were any worse, it would be Vaseline …”

Some foods are fattening. Others are addictive. Cheese is both — fattening and addictive.”

“Barnard explains that dairy protein — specifically a protein called casein — has opiate molecules built in. When babies nurse, he notes, they’re getting dosed with a mild drug: “Milk contains opiates that reward the baby for nursing.”‘ 

“It’s no different with the cow’s milk — or other mammalian milk — from which cheese is made. In fact, Barnard says, the process of cheese-making concentrates the casein”

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Non-dominant hand, one-eyed, fat-tipped marker, puny drawing

“Call it dairy crack.”

 “Dairy proteins appear to trigger inflammation, apparently by triggering the release of antibodies, which leads to the constriction of the tiny muscles in the airways. By avoiding dairy proteins, the trigger for the [asthma] attacks is gone.”

“. . .  Barnard notes that vitamin D may play an important role in protecting us against some types of cancers. Citing prostate-cancer data, he suggests that because dairy products are high in calcium and calcium intake can slow down activation of vitamin D, cancer risks may increase with cheese-eating.”

“The National Dairy Council (or cows who would rather be milked than molded into meat patties) does not endorse Barnard’s descriptions of cheese . . .  and points to research from Harvard School of Public Health that shows no association between cheese and long-term weight gain.”

“However, if one’s goal is to lose weight, there is something to be said for not teasing yourself with occasional doses of the very food that caused the problem in the first place. (I might add sugar and refined carbs to the list . . . might?) Better to end that bad love affair. If a person is concerned about asthma, migraine, rheumatoid arthritis, or other sensitivities, one soon loses all desire for the food product that caused the problem.” (So far THAT argument hasn’t worked with me.)

(Maybe every time I feel puny  I should picture myself eating 33 pounds of VASELINE . . . )

Read the entire article and click HERE.


*Barbara J. King is an anthropology professor emerita at the College of William and Mary.  Barbara’s most recent book on animals is titled How Animals Grieve, and her forthcoming book, Personalities on the Plate: The Lives and Minds of Animals We Eat,

The Cheese Trap, How Breaking a Surprising Addiction Will Help You Lose Weight, Gain Energy, and Get Healthy by Neal D., M.d. Barnard, Dreena Burton and Marilu Henner

Sneak a Peek – getting in the mood for Valentine’s Day

No further explanation needed . . .

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20 minute pose, Water-color pencil
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20 minute pose, water-color pencil
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15 minute pose, water-color pencil
"She's got to be kidding"
“Getting into the mood! She’s got to be kidding . . . an explanation is definitely needed . . .”

doodlewash SEALS the deal

Hug a seal
give it a kiss
all love is real
not hit or miss

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Charlie O’Shields’ water-color

Charlie O’s watercolor “Hug a Seal” is charming (Charlie is charming too . . . as is evidenced by the stories he writes to accompany his water-color paintings).

Check it out (there’s a sweet video of a seal hugging a dog) and click here DOODLEWASH

Sneak Peek into my sketchy life – not the best . . . not the worst

Had a hard time concentrating and my arms were hurting when I tried to draw.  I’m blaming it on the rain . . .  a convenient fall-guy (pun intended).  When my drawings don’t turn out as well as I would like I usually blame it on the model.  

You can see some of the structure lines & corrections in these 2 minute sketches.

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The model held onto a rope in the poses.  We were suppose to concentrate on the angles.dscn6842

These below were 20 minute poses but I could only draw for about 10 minutes.

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Usually, I use large drawing paper and stand at an easel.  This session I drew on a smaller sketch pad and sat down.  I figured if the model could sit

so could I . . . 

"Excuses, excuses . . . "
“Excuses, excuses . . . “

 

Sneek Peek into my sketchy life – from sea to shining SEE

I am enjoying sketching the human form much more than inanimate objects or landscapes.  It stands to reason that I chose to be a psychotherapist rather than a landscape architect.

Here’s my latest sea-scape

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Pen & Ink

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and here’s my latest See !

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Charcoal sketch

He kept moving his right arm . . . 

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Charcoal sketch

Invisible Illness – Prayers in search of “Cures”

I’ve written or spoken about my journey with fibromyalgia, the 40+ doctors, tens of thousands of dollars of tests and doctors telling me that nothing was wrong while handing me a psychiatric referral. 

Difference in Reactions to Fibro and Pacemaker

Fibromyalgia: Hysterical Middle-Aged Woman’s Syndrome

This Ted video got my attention.   I hope it gets yours because it’s likely you or someone you know has other invisible disorders such such as fibromyalgia, IBS, migraine, interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia and ME/CFS which affect millions and have been largely ignored by the NIH.

17 minutes

“Jen Brea’s Outrageously Successful Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME) TED Talk”

Despite my own struggles, I’ve been blessed with relatively mild symptoms and the ability to lead a fairly high functioning life. Long ago I lost count of all those I know, worse off than me, who have “untreatable” or  invisible illnesses – friends, former clients,  internet blogfriends, children and many who follow my blog  

To all of you who are on similar journeys – – you are in my prayers.  It’s not a cure but it’s all we’ve got . . . for now.

 

 

 

Sneeeeek Peeeek – Back to the drawing boards

First week of art classes.  It’s amazing how “rusty” I felt after just 4 weeks of not drawing.  The model had not ONE ounce of fat anywhere on his body.

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Charcoal, warm-up sketches

I decided to push myself a bit and drew a few quickies using pen & ink.  Ink is a bit intimidating since I can’t ERASE.

Pen & Ink sketch
Pen & Ink sketch
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Pen & Ink Sketch
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Charcoal sketch

I drew him to look like an old man!  . . .  in my defense his head was shaved . . .

Not only didn’t the model have an ounce of fat anywhere on his body  he didn’t have an ounce of hair anywhere  . . . at least not in the places I saw . . .

Update on my condition

Papa’s Instructions Pome

Children of ours,  it’s your time to play

So listen closely to what I say

To your DNA you must stay true

Here’s exactly what you are to do:

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Mama Cold, Papa Cold and their 3 virus babies 

Baby 1

Dump buckets of muck

up judy’s nose

Make sure you duck

before she blows

Baby 2 

Bang on her brain

whistle in her ears

like a choo choo train

til she bursts into tears.

Baby 3

Pound on her head

jump on her chest

all night long in bed

so she gets no rest

Children, it’s now up to you

judy is yours to do

Cuz Mama is weary 

teaching how-to

 with no app or Siri.

And your papa is tiring

 of non-stop siring

It’s Mom & me off to find a new home

Hallelujah! you’re on your own

Practice what we’ve taught

drive judy crazy, make her lazy

don’t give it an afterthought

Spend all your time

making her go outa her mind

The HeART of Healing Workshop

To see all the MARVELOUS “Found Poetry” the participants created and the full report you’ll have to click HERE:  The HeART of Spirituality – Healing

“Do not run away from grief, oh soul. Look for the remedy inside the pain because the rose came from the thorn and the ruby came from a stone”. – Rumi

Here’s a sample!

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The more you plough and dig the ground the more fertile it becomes. The more you cut the branches of a tree the higher and stronger it grows. The more you put the gold in the fire the purer it becomes. The more you sharpen the steel by grinding the better it cuts. Therefore, the more sorrows one sees the more perfect one becomes… ”   Abdu’l-Bahá,  Baha’i World Faith   

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December 29, 2016 – https://judithwesterfield.wordpress.com

“When inspiration has become hidden, when we feel ready to give up, this is the time when healing can be found in the tenderness of pain itself”.

Pema Chödrön (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brow is an American, Tibetan Buddhist and ordained nun)

The Queen and me

I admit I’m obsessive about steering clear of people who are sick.  I’ve been “known” to remove my groceries off the counter and go to another check-out if I see a clerk sniffing or coughing.  With fibromyalgia everything lasts longer and is more severe so I go to great lengths to avoid people who even appear to be sick.

My husband caught a cold 2 weeks ago and I’ve assiduously washed everything down – counters, door knobs, light switches and my husband – with disinfectant. 

Turns out I was disinfecting the wrong person.

I woke up yesterday with a scratchy throat, a headache and feeling even less chipper than I usually feel in the morning.

The Queen gave me a cold

How do I know, how am I told?

This cold is a dignified one

no snorting, sniffling nor dripping a ton 

My makeups impeccable, not a hair undone

Despite a sore throat and my throbbing head

staying all day, aching in bed

I shan’t complain

For how often does one contract

 a ROYAL pain.

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Queen is feeling better, says Princess Anne

“But at 90 . . . she is exercising caution as she recovers from a heavy cold which she’s had for at least 12 days, (12 DAYS!!!! ) and which is bound to have left her feeling pretty miserable. (tell me about it).”

“She hasn’t yet had an opportunity to go outside and explore her 20,000 acre private Norfolk estate. (So true, so true)”

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN . . . and me too!

P.S. Wash your hands after reading this post – I’m contagious . . .

 

Antidote for Santa – Peace & Good Cheer

My Annual Christmas pome – Sick Ole St Nick undoubtedly struck a chord among my many many followers – well at least one . . .

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By Sharon Bonin-Pratt*

Goodness, I feel sorry for the poor man in red his weary reindeer and sled
Don’t blame me cuz I’ve never participated in dragging that man from his bed
The worst you can say is I’ve not enough candles and therefore can’t light
All my eight menorahs, yes, count ’em, eight Hanukkah for eight days of light
Tell Santa to give up the late ride and eat chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil
Safer to spin driedles, tell stories of brave Maccabees and the miracle of oil
And he’ll feel much better when he rises well rested at the end of this year
Not having delivered gifts heavier than a wish for peace and good cheer

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Happy Chanukah!!

*Disclosure:  Printed without permission from the author . .  

Annual Christmas Day Pome – Sick Ole St Nick

T’was the Day After Christmas Eve Pome

It’s true so they say that on Christmas day

old St Nick is always sick

from sugar, carbs, inhaling soot

and lunging sacks of children’s loot

Santa has to unbuckle his belt

to make room for cookies, and chocolate gelt

Popping antacids with each milk drink

he’s lactose intolerant, that’s why the wink

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Up all night,

by mornings light he’s a fright

The chubby ole fellow, no longer mellow

Back’s in spasm, eyes are red

Climbing to chimney tops, legs like lead

When home he goes, the ho ho hoes

have turned to moans

the silent night filled with grunts and groans

No longer just plump he’s a fat grump

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The reindeer too have lost their cheer

for all things festive in the New Year

His packed on pounds during the rounds

create huge drag for even a stag

They huff, puff and wheeze

looking for a stiff breeze

to help carry Santa over roof tops and trees

All the way back the reindeer pray

he’ll loose 50 pounds before next Christmas day

Cuz Rudolph et. al are running out of gas

hauling Santa’s growing ass

  *   *   *

Merry Christmas to all who indulge and bulge!

from judy and Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

Why Santa never gets caught

How Do Reindeer Fly?

Doodlewash is a blog I follow – both for Charlie O’s great water-colors but even more for his wonderful stories and descriptions about each drawing.

Today’s Doodlewash post inspired my pome.

Water-color by Charlie O'Shields
Water-color by Charlie O’Shields

Pome by judy

No one catches Santa on the roof

or in the snow sees prints

of tiny reindeer hoof

for Santa’s no bigger than a fly

and reindeer all the size of ants

ferry him through the Christmas sky

I don’t think it silly at all

to imagine reindeer quite so small

and know 

how Santa slides down chimney flues

with nary much soot on his beard or shoes

So make your cookies the size of peas

and leave the milk in a thimble please

Limit the weight of gifts and such

to crush an ant

 it doesn’t take much

   *     *    *

To read Charlie O’s inspiring story click here:

How Do Reindeer Fly?

Sneek a Peek into my sketchy life – Heads UP!

The last class for this semester –  I continued to play with water-color pencil.  

Water-color
Water-color

I tend to draw the heads too small . . . or . . . another way of “looking at it” . . . I make the bodies too big.  Then again, he is a big guy.

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The uneven jaw line is reflective of his beard and mustache.dscn6801

Bob Blobfish sez: ". . . I p"
Bob Blobfish sez: ” Until art classes start again she can practice drawing larger heads by drawing me in the  nude”

21 ways to keep your sanity for the holidays

 Only  15 days till Chanukah!    15 days till Christmas!  22 days till New Year’s!  Time for my yearly reminder on how to keep sane.

Christmas:

  1. Instead of buying  a tree watch your friends decorate (and take down) theirs
  2. Convert to Judaism
  3. Sit in the lobby of a 5-star hotel and enjoy EXPENSIVE decorations.
  4. ADOPT a pig, instead of eating one.
  5. Make dinner potluck, you supply the paper plates and plastic cutlery
  6. Christmas dinner – Start with dessert and forget the rest.
  7. Sit on the beach in Bali.

8.  Go to bed on the 23rd and get up on January 3rd.*

9.  Only buy presents for Jesus.

10. Put a cover on the outside chimney opening so you don’t have to put out cookies and milk.

Chanukah:

11. Watch your friends decorate (and take down) their Christmas tree.

12. Convert.

13. Stay in a 5-star hotel for 8 days and nights.

14. Use credit cards instead of gelt

15. Instead of gambling with a dreidle at home go to Vegas

16. Don’t give presents, do good deeds

17. Go to bed on Thanksgiving and wake up on New Years**

18. Bake potatoes instead of grating them to death

19. Eat macaroons with Ben & Jerry

New Years:

20. *Remember! Stay in bed until the 3rd, unless you’re Jewish.

21. **If you are Jewish, go back to bed.

 

Peace on Earth & Sanity to all my Friends!

My Sketchy Life – porn it ain’t

During the break in the life-drawing class a few of us talked  to the model.  She said most people had no idea what life drawing was and believed that nude modeling was akin to porn!   When  asked what she did for a living her answer was “posing for people who were learning anatomy”.

First, It never occurred to me that most people weren’t familiar with life drawing.  Second,  her answer made sense.  When drawing a nude model students are intensely focused  on the anatomy, the line & shading that emphasizes or de-emphasizes the muscle structure, the curve of the spine and the “personality” of the pose – not on nudity.

It’s a bit like reading an engrossing story.  Your focus is on the plot line, the images created, the messages conveyed, not whether the” book” is hard-covered, paperback or on a tablet.

I was pleased with this sketch as it catches the likeness of the model.

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Water-color pencil

Wasn’t so pleased with this sketch so I took out colored crayons and just scribbled.  Still not pleased but it was fun!

Water-soluable crayon
Water-soluable crayon

 

Children’s Pome for Adults – the REAL night before Christmas

Dear human-beings,

Besides being soft and cuddly a mission of mine is to bring poetry to the masses, of which you are some.   And I am here to bring you the truth . . . even though it might hurt.

Santa was frantic at the North Pole

Finances in the red, he was in the hole

Mrs Claus couldn’t afford sugar

For her cookies sublime

Dear old hubby didn’t have a dime

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North Pole employment had exploded

and Santa’s credit had eroded

He’d spent his last cent on black Friday deals

and turkey with the trimmings for thanksgiving meals

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The night before Christmas he no longer had clout

When all the elves threatened a walk-out

Elf-union held all the chips

As evidenced by the grin on all the elf lips

For every elf in all the land

Had won a pay deal without tipping their hand:

Double pay all December

a free thanksgiving meal in November

Finally fringe benefits for elves was real

For Santa and the Mrs, there was no appeal

Santa had bitten his nails to the quick

Both right and left eyes developed a tic

All Santa could do was self medicate

So he stuffed his mouth from the cookie plate santa-claus-being-drunk-holding-beer-33377069

And downed all the rum from a hot toddy cup

his blood pressure sky-high, went up and up

His big fat belly shook like a bowl full of lead

While visions of bankruptcy danced in his head

So all you children and adults too

Have compassion and learn to make due  

STOP asking for presents and things you don’t need

YOU must now take heed.

It’s no time for greed

If you want Santa another Christmas to live

to every red-kettle-bell-ringer

Dig in your pocket and GIVE.

Poetically yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

My Sketchy Life – inky dinky, dilly Dali

New model – not an ounce of body fat on the boy.  The majority of students are well into their 60’s.  I made note of how many of the women asked him to return to model ! . .  I myself prefer the models with a bit of ballast around their belly.  Gives me more room for error.

This class I ventured out of my comfort zone,  put away eraser and went for it with  permanent ink and no preliminary sketch in pencil.  

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Sharpie Pen, 20 minute pose
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Water-color pencil, 20 minute pose

Notice the box?  I keep trying to draw within the box so the figure doesn’t run off the page.  Here’s my result!

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Ink with splash of water-color, 20 minute pose
Salvador Dali
Dali sez: “She obviously needs a bigger box . . . obviously.”

 

My Sketchy Life – why the nude still shocks

If you are an art buff or interested in the psychology of nudes read this article Why The Nude Still Shocks.  Not only is it interesting it underscores my past reluctance to put up the sketches of men as opposed to women. (see Equal Opportunity Nudes)

The model this week was male but he was wearing this warrior “get-up” that the men in the class seemed to enjoy drawing , . .  must be a testosterone “thing”.  I say “TAKE IT OFF!”

Water-color pencil
Water-color pencil

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A Frankly Freddie Thanksgiving

Dear Human Beings,

Time for my ANNUAL Thanksgiving ‘Ode To Tom’ and tell you what I’m thankful for:

  • I’m thankful that I was not born in a country where they eat dogs.
  • I’m thankful you are all my best friends!
  • I’m thankful for all the treats I get even if I don’t get as many as I deserve
  • I’m thankful I am soft and fluffy so people want to pet me
  • DSCN4217Freddie Parker Westerfield,  Poet Laureate

A Turkey’s Tale

by Freddie Parker Westerfield

A turkey named Tom lived on a farm

His story is such, so they say

Waking at dawn

he’d peck at the lawn,

searching for bugs,

nibbling on slugs

of which he was particularly fond.

Then on Thanksgiving day

Gobbledy gobbledy gone!

So if  YOU took Tom from off his farm

in the middle of the night

please give him due thanks

for gracing your table.  (It’s  fitting and only right).

And for all the bugs and many slugs

which make him an organic delight

P.S.  I was told to tell you that my Human-being wishes you all things to be grateful for in your life, like she’s grateful for me.
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My BEST FRIEND Shari sent me this picture.  I think she might be a Turkeytarian . . .

 

My Sketchy Life – no mo nude

Clothed!  The model was clothed!  I actually found it easier sketching nude people with no distractions . . . like folds of fabric and print patterns and color.  

The model had on an elaborate costume with intricate patterns and gold threads. I tried to eliminate all the “distractions”.  Here’s my first attempts at using water-color pencil.

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Water-color pencil, 20 minute pose
Water-color pencil, 20 minute pose
Water-color pencil, 20 minute pose

Jokingly, I asked the model if she would take her clothes off.  She replied, “Will you?”    tumblr_mdzmtrd5du1qargfho1_500

 

Brand new and nude – Puggles

If this isn’t the cutest, weirdest little critter I don’t know what is!

A Puggles Pome

Puggles are the puggliest

Their little snout the ugliest

Cuddle them quick

for when they’re grown

they’ll claw you

and won’t give a lick

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“Sydney Zoo is celebrating the arrival of the first baby echidnas, known as puggles, in almost 30 years.  The tiny (cute), and incredibly rare Australian mammals, hatched in the summer weighing between 250 and 500 grams.  Echidnas, sometimes known as spiny anteaters, lay eggs – which hatch after 10 days.  They’re then carried in their mother’s pouches for up to two months.”

 

Irreversibly Front & Back

My friend Peggy and I are working on a new project to share our stash of  therapeutic strategies, tips and tricks on the internet.  In my exuberance,  “playing” with  settings for the new web-site, I mistakenly changed the theme setting for this blog  . . . and  can’t figure out how to change it back again .  So Curious to the Max has a new look, in case you didn’t notice.

And in case you didn’t notice we had a new model in class.  All these sketches were 15 minutes done with water-color pencil.

There are two “fronts” and two “backs” (She was sitting on a poofy cushion).

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Water-color pencil 15 minute sketches

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AND in case you don’t see the connection between my blog change and my sketches: Clicking a button on the computer and irreversibly changing the blog template is like drawing with water-color pencil.  I can’t erase or correct either of them.

"Excuses, excuses . . ."
“Excuses, excuses . .”

My Sketchy Life – from start to finish

Take a peek at the entire class from the beginning 2 minute sketches to the 20 minute poses.  

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Charcoal, 2 minute poses

Tried water-color pencil for the first time.  Discovered it doesn’t ERASE so the first go over needs to be very light. 

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Water-color pencil

This model was great.  She was more voluptuous than most and I didn’t have to draw muscles!  

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Water-color pencil. Ended up with 4 breast because I couldn’t erase!

In the sketch below I used an old piece of cardboard backing.   If you look you can see the water stains from years past.

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Water-color pencil on cardboard

For the last pose the model put clothes on . . . probably because I couldn’t get her breasts symmetrical!  

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Water-color pencil on water-color paper

I may take these drawings and experiment some more with the water-color.

"Food for thought . . . "
“I think she’s experimented enough already . . .”

 

How to cook a turkey FAST and painlessly (for you not the bird)

It’s THAT time of year again for “Cooking with Judy”  Here’s my yearly Thanksgiving post — cuz it’s tooooo good not to be shared!  

img_00131 I have a reputation, among those who know me,  to have an “interesting” sense of humor.  Even though How to Cook A Turkey with 500 degree heat sounds like a joke IT IS NO JOKE.

The turkey comes out brown, beautiful and MOIST.   I’ve done this every year for over three decades and it’s never failed. 
All the people who have tried it do it again and again. . . except for the woman bought a ButterBall Turkey* . . . to see why, keep reading.
 
Ingredients:
10 – 18 pound turkey* and a sense of adventure
 
Directions:
  • Pre Heat oven 500 degrees (this is not a typo)
  • Clean the bird
  • Throw it into a covered container – put on lid or aluminum foil
  • Do not add ANYTHING to the pot and/or the bird.
  • Do NOT baste or look at until time is up  (you will hear burbling, don’t worry, by the time you hear burbling the turkey is dead)
  • Bake (and I do mean BAKE), 7 minutes per pound, unstuffed at 500 degrees FARENHEIT
  • 7 1/2 minutes per pound, stuffed
*WARNING: Do NOT buy any *turkey that has ANYTHING injected under the skin (especially butter!) or the fire department will join you for dinner after you scrub the black soot from your ceiling.
Q & A (I won’t bother you with the Q-part)
  • Yes, it comes out brown and beautiful.
  • No, it is moist and delicious
  • I always put the stuffing in a casserole rather than the turkey – others have stuffed the bird and said it was great.
  • Yes, it will smell like Thanksgiving not like a house-on-fire.
  • No, PETA would not endorse this because it is more humane . . . for the cook
  • Yes! 500 degrees.  It is not a typo
  • Yes, 7 minutes a pound
P.S.  A typical turkey will take a little over 1 hour to bake. The first year I made the turkey this way I had the critter sitting out raw and naked as a J-bird when the guests arrived.
When they found out nothing was in the oven everyone nervously inquired what time we were going to eat.
Made me smile.

 

A Peak into my Sketchy Life – Bigger and Worser

(Well, not actually “worser” but I try to avoid trite phrases like “bigger and better”.)

 In case you’ve not noticed . . .  my drawings all go off the page.  I don’t mind the aesthetics of that but I want to be able to do it “by design”.  I try framing, measuring, planning . . . as the drawing progresses the limbs or head (or both) end up off of the paper.

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17″ x 13″ Charcoal sketch on painters paper from Home Depot.

The life drawing teacher suggested I get a BIG board to work on a BIG piece of paper  to get the entire torso on the page.  So much for bigger . . .

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36″ x 36″ Charcoal sketches (Model was wearing a weird hat with a huge veil that trailed down his back. And he has a beard and mustache . . .)

(Showing my hand on the paper to give you a sense of the scale).

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36″ x 36″ paper
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17″ x 13′ paper
"She'll do almost anything to avoid drawing hands and feet . . ."
“She will do almost anything to avoid drawing feet . . . or beards & mustaches”

Happy Halloween! Duds to Dudes

Since my “vertigo episode” I’ve been in a fibromyalgia flare-up, complete with exhaustion.  Today I peeled myself out of bed, put on my best duds and went to class to draw a dude.  Can you guess which one is me?

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After spending 3 hours drawing a nude dude this is what I looked like . . .

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My Sketchy life – dinosaurs and dames

My Sketchy Life – wonky, wacky & wobbly

Ten days into walking like a drunken sailor without the drink or the sailing.  My husband drove me to art class.  It was nice to get out of the house.  The vertigo is much better but I’m still a bit wobbly.

At first, looking back and forth from the model to the drawing pad was a bit disorienting and I was very tired after class – probably because my brain was working hard to compensate.

The focus for this session was using brown wrapping paper, black and white charcoal.

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"Food for thought . . . "
“Wobbly is the least of her worries . . . She’s always been wonky & wacky . . . “

 

My Sketchy Life – scritch, scratch and stretch

I have little energy and my hip is sore .  Usually, I stand at the easel when drawing but my hip is so sore this week I sat.  I’ve been stretching my hip and back every day but scritching and scratching at the art.

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Charcoal

When the teacher saw this she commented that it looked like someone sitting at a bus stop!  She said it kindly and  I agreed.  So I quickly scribbled, skritched and scratched over the original.  At least now it looks like the bus has just arrived. 

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Charcoal. 

This was an exercise on finding reference points in the room to draw the figure.  I spent so long finding the points that I didn’t have time for the figure!
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I was fading fast and so were my drawings!

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Charcoal

Hopefully, next class, instead of scritch and scratch I’ll stretch with the art.

 

Shower yourself with doodle art

This is one hot shower!  

“Third Man Records is pleased to share the genius surprise gift they received from their friend MICHEL GONDRY. On his own and without anyone’s knowledge, the legendary filmmaker shot a video for “City Lights,” which he sent them the other night. The video is Gondry’s fifth visual collaboration with The White Stripes. “City Lights” was written for The White Stripes’ GET BEHIND ME SATAN but then forgotten until White revisited the 2005 album for Third Man’s Record Store Day 2015 vinyl reissue and finished the recording in 2016. The track is the first new, worldwide commercially released song by The White Stripes since 2008.”

http://jackwhiteiii.com/

Music video by The White Stripes performing “City Lights” (Audio) from Jack White Acoustic Recordings 1998-2016. (C) 2016 Third Face, LLC

Director: Michel Gondry
Producer: Raffi Adlan
Camera/Editor: Brooke Palmieri
Special Thanks: Tilly Pederson, David Gritchen
Production Co: Partizan

 

My Sketchy Life . . . Albee it

Edward Albee died the other day at 88.  He was a Pulitzer prize-winning playwright.  He intensely disliked it when asked what his plays were about but finally explained:

“If anybody wants me to say it, in one sentence, what my plays are about: They’re about the nature of identity. Who we are, how we permit ourselves to be viewed, how we permit ourselves to view ourselves, how we practice identity or lack of identity.”  Edward Albee

Most of the models in the life drawing classes have been posing for a long time.  They come equipped with props and pillows and strike dramatic poses that I defy anyone in “real” life to take . . . unless you’re an exotic dancer.

Graphite pencil sketch
Graphite pencil sketch
"quickies"
“quickies”
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Charcoal sketch

Art teachers explain that drawing isn’t about what the hand is doing it’s about training our eye to see what it actually sees rather than the internal image of what we THINK we see.

Right now my drawings are about trying to learn to view shapes and shadows, lines and limbs . . . and hopefully have my hands follow.  Someday, it would be nice to say the same thing Edward Albee said . . . that my drawings are about the nature of identity.

Laughter is the best medicine

The weather is changing

my body rearranging

Help! I’m in a fibro flare

Everything hurts

including my hair.

Sharon Bonin Pratt is a writer, an artist and a dear friend.  I think she also is psychic.  I’ve been not feeling great and the subject of her last post was just what I needed.  AND it’s dedicated to ME!!!!  What an honor!

Shari inspired me to look for a smile (SEE THE VIDEO).  

Here’s a sample from Sharon Bonin Pratt’s Ink Flare:

“Who can laugh without relaxing? Isn’t that why some of us (not me of course, and certainly not you, but other unnamed folks) pee their pants when laughing raucously? Losing all control is not a bad thing, even if you must change your whitie-dities, because when you’re having that much fun – who cares about all the rest? Oh, and it’s contagious! In a good way, not like the flu, but like having enough cup cakes for everyone in the world. So now I not only feel good inside my own world weary bod – I feel good because everyone around me also feels good. Motto for today: Spread cheer – laugh out loud.”

Read her entire post –  Sharon Bonin Pratt’s Ink Flare

My sketchy life – failing my way to success

Sara Blakely’s embrace of failure has helped make her the youngest self-made female billionaire in America.  She invented Spanx (body-shaping undergarments – the modern version of the corset and girdle).

When she was growing up, her father would often ask her the same question at dinnertime.

“What have you failed at this week?”

I was AGHAST – failure!? What a horrible father.  Everyone knows we are supposed to focus on and revel in success.  She went on to say:

“My dad growing up encouraged me and my brother to fail. The gift he was giving me is that failure is (when you are) not trying versus the outcome. It’s really allowed me to be much freer in trying things and spreading my wings in life.”

What a novel idea! Embrace failure as a sign of taking risks, learning and growing. Failure is a victory not a defeat.

“The fact that I had never taken a business class, had no training, didn’t know how retail worked,” she said. “I wasn’t as intimidated as I should have been.”

I read her interview just before my life drawing class.  It was liberating!!  I gave myself permission to fail at trying to draw perfect likeness, perfect proportions, perfect shading.  

Graphite Pencil Sketch
Graphite Pencil Sketches

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My new motto:  Fail Away! 

 . . . it’s never too late to become the oldest self-made billionaire in the United States.

I fail to understand her conclusions . . . that must make me a success . . .
She never fails to confound me . . .

 

My sketchy life – equal opportunity nudes

It’s been called to my attention that while I post drawings of female nudes front and rear I don’t post male nude drawings full front.  

I am  so used to seeing women bare it all in the media that I don’t think twice about my female drawings.  I wonder if, deep down, I’m actually a prude?

Charcoal sketches
Charcoal sketches

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Graphite pencil sketch
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Graphite pencil sketch

Here’s to woman’s liberation and male, dare I say, penile picture poses!

 

My Sketchy Life – Back to school

New semester for art classes just started.  Here are my best sketches (you didn’t think I’d post my worst, did you?).  I particularly am pleased with the first as I managed to catch the likeness of the model.

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Charcoal drawing
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Charcoal, scribble drawing
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Charcoal warm-up drawing
"Obviously she hasn't learned to draw hands or feet . . ."
“Obviously she hasn’t learned to draw hands . . .  or feet . . .”

RATS! We Inhaled

At Judy Formato’s Painting on the Patio (POP) art group the topic of marijuana came up.  

Several of the woman, who shall remain anonymous, (we are all well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) admitted to inhaling in their youth.  It was a pertinent topic (for those of us well over the age of 50 or 60 or 70) relating to pain medication for maladies that come with maturity.

Is this a coincidence, or what? . . . I came home to read this new medical marijuana “MIND” study:  

Researcher Staci Gruber is “. . .  trying to determine the long and short-term impact of medical marijuana on cognition, brain structure and function, quality of life, sleep, and other clinical measures. 

“People drive two to three hours sometimes to get [here for] the study,” Gruber said. “They’re really committed. They really want to know what effect this will have on them.”

“As they wait for long-term results, MIND researchers have made a few interim discoveries. They have found, for example, that marijuana could possibly ease symptoms for people with bipolar disorder and that a medication for strokes and Alzheimer’s disease may reverse the cognitive effects of chronic recreational marijuana use.”

Perhaps our POP group could volunteer – we can drive and are VERY committed women.

I think we qualify.

Oh, by the way, here’s what I painted at POP.

Water-color on Yupo paper
Water-color & pencil on Yupo paper

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I wonder why they don’t use rats for this study – they use them for all the others?

 

Stealth Sketching

I knew about people who do travel sketch books – instead of taking photos they sketch.  I knew about plein air painters who set up their easels and paint nature.  I didn’t know about the groups of artists who take to the streets all over the world and sketch.

They call themselves Urban Sketchers.  The supplies need to be portable and compact – small sketchbooks, pencil, pen and watercolor seem to be the main tools of the trade.  People and buildings are the main focus. 

You have to be fast and just capture the essence of what you see.  People move, get up, leave.   Sometimes I draw the arm of one person on the body of the other, furiously freeze a tiny moment in time hoping people don’t get up, come over and demand I stop staring at them.  Then I “clean up” the mini sketches – erase lines, add a splash of color.  

At the POP (Painting on the Patio) gathering yesterday I couldn’t get inspired to paint so I pulled out my mini sketchbook and “cleaned up” some of my sketches:  

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Can’t call myself an Urban Sketcher cuz I don’t sit on street corners or stand by light poles.  I sketch people while I wait for doctors’ appointments, get my computer fixed or tires rotated.  

Since I live in the suburbs it seems a bit pretentious to call my self a suburban sketcher.  Stealth Sketcher is much more like it.