Frankly Freddie – CAPTIONit!, #7 & #8

Dear Freddie Fans,

Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

Get inspiration – check out CAPTIONit!  Part I  and the  Winner of  #5 & #6 below*

#7

#8

Congratulations Bernice!!!!

*You wrote The WINNING captions (Actually, you don’t win anything except my gratitude for participating and WORLD blogging fame.):

Caption It #5 – Money DOESN’T grow on trees.


Caption It. #6 – Portrait of “Screaming Mimi”


Send me your captions for #7 & #8 . . . . for consideration

Frankly, Freddie

Humorist Editor-in-Chief

Still hysterical – I’m well practiced

1995: The end of life as I knew it:. I began experiencing excruciating burning pain in my hands, arms and legs. In 1996 fibromyalgia was not recognized by the medical community as a “real” ailment. Doctors considered it to be a syndrome: unexplainable, unverifiable and in all probability psychosomatic. Their unofficial diagnosis was “Hysterical Middle Aged Woman’s Syndrome”.

Doctor after doctor, told me, test after test after expensive test came back negative, that nothing was wrong with me and to go home and “Get a life”. Some looked at me knowingly, like we shared a secret “You’re a psychotherapist. You know about psychology” – Wink, Wink. The only reason I winked back was to blink away the tears that were threatening to disrupt the façade that I wasn’t a hysterical middle-aged woman.

I just wanted someone to put a name to what I had. Gynecologists, gastroenterologists, cardiologists, neurologists, rheumatologists, environmental specialists, acupuncturists, immunologists, chiropractors, Yup you are reading right! They are ALL in the plural. I didn’t just see one of each. I saw private practitioners, researchers, and heads of hospital departments. I’m sure each of them wrote “HYPOCHONDRIAC” on their charts.

Over two-plus decades later I’m no longer middle-aged, just hysterical.  I still struggle and some mornings I wake up feeling like a locomotive hit me and the bottoms of my feet on fire even tho the only thing they touched for 7 hours was a sheet.  BUT now that the pharmaceutical companies have realized there’s over 10 million people, in the United States alone and millions more world-wide, with this condition the research is progressing.  

 Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue/ME are finally recognized “officially” as an illness.  The research now points to the possibility these conditions are auto-immune, neuro-inflammatory disorders in the brain.  

Those doctors were right after all — it IS all in my head!

judy

Frankly Freddie, CAPTIONit! – #5 & #6

Dear Freddie Fans,

Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

To get you started, check out CAPTIONit!  Part I 

   *     *     *

 #5

 

#6

   *     *     *

The WINNING captions from my CAPTION IT! Part II  (Actually, you don’t win anything except my gratitude for participating and WORLD blogging fame.):

#3 -Cheesey CATatonia

and

Who moved my mouse?

#4 – “Taking ZEE Nap” . . . as they say in France

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCH

Did you know . . . Anteaters prefer termites

Its food consists mainly of termites, which it obtains by opening nests with its powerful sharp front claws. As the insects swarm to the damaged part of their dwelling, it draws them into its mouth by means of its long, flexible, rapidly moving tongue covered with sticky saliva.

  • Their tongue can be flicked up to 150-160 times or more per minute.
  • Giant anteaters have a two-foot-long tongue and huge salivary glands that produce copious amounts of sticky saliva when they feed.
  • They have small spikes on their tongue that help keep the ants and other insects on the tongue while they are swept into the anteater’s mouth, where they are crushed against the hard palate.
  • What we call an anteater’s nose is actually an elongated jaw with a small, black, moist nose, like a dog’s nose
  • A full-grown giant Anteater eats upwards of 30,000 ants and termites a day and also eat ripe fruit if they find it on the ground.
  • The Giant Anteater and regular anteaters have no teeth. Their physical digestion is aided by the pebbles and debris that they consume when they ingest insects.
  • The giant Anteater lives above ground. The anteater finds a place to sleep, curls up, and covers itself with its bushy tail. 

The female produces one offspring per birth. During much of its first year of life, a young Anteater will ride on its mother’s back. It is generally acknowledged that giant Anteaters have a poor sense of sight but a keen sense of smell. Their sense of smell has been estimated to be some 40 times stronger than that of humans.

Did You Know? – Luscious Lipped Bat Fish

Luscious Red lips,
lanquid eyes
this guy’s in disguise
 a femme fatale?
 a walking bat?
Can you imagine that
A fish that doesn’t swim
Ogcocephalus darwini

An identity crisis of the first degree
he needs a psychoanalyst
It’s not normal to be THAT carefree

This Red-Lipped Batfish (aka Ogcocephalus darwini) walks around the deep waters of the Galapagos Islands.  They are terrible swimmers since their fins have evolved into legs.

To attract prey, the red-lipped batfish uses a shiny lure that comes out of its head once it gets really close to its preferred meal,  like crabs, mollusks and shrimp  Some scientists think the males’ red lips are attractive to females during mating season.  To each his own . . . 

Thanks to Charlie at Doodlewash for the inspiration.

Red-Lipped Bat Fish, NOT CHARLIE