Just Say’n . . .

The early bird

“gets” the worm.

(LOVE_no_need_to_explain_poster available on Zazzle, click here)

Check out other Curious Critters and  inspirational sayings on Max Your Mind every Pausitively TUESDAY

There’s an Elephant in the Room – Self Isolation, Series ON!

If indeed you despair

Isolation needn’t be a bear

Find your own elephant  

 whose advice waxes eloquent

(not to mention relevant)

And if your friends are petulant

 please share!

We’re all about self-care

Click on each image to read Elph’s guidance

First Week of Self Isolation

Second Week of Self Isolation

Third Week of Self Isolation

 

 

 

Elephant in the Room: It’s to dye for

Elephant says:

It’s a new day

time for a new do

a little color, a bit of spray

so the real you shines through

Click here for : The Elephant in the Room , Self Isolation and Self Indulgence

Click here for:  The Elephant in the Room, Liven up your environment

Click here for: The Elephant in the Room,Self Isolation Selfies 

 

The Elephant in the Room: Posing

Elephant Says:

Don’t be lame

Get off your bum

Stretch, don’t strain

calm your brain

Yoga-phant by Peggy

Click here for : The Elephant in the Room , Self Isolation and Self Indulgence

Click here for:  The Elephant in the Room, Liven up your environment

Click here for: The Elephant in the Room,Self Isolation Selfies 

 

The Elephant in the Room – Self Isolation: Veg About

The Elephant says:

Since it’s only us

Here’s our new plan

No need to cook

Eat out of the can.

Click here for: The Elephant in the Room,Self Isolation Selfies 

Click here for : The Elephant in the Room , Self Isolation and Self Indulgence

Click here for:  The Elephant in the Room, Liven up your environment

 

Fur Fun: Opportunity

The Fate of young ladies who “demurred”

with Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg  

There once was a Miss

who declined a kiss

fearing the poor lad

would make her look bad

if the news leaked

about her and this geek.

There’s no mystery

The rest is history

 This fearful honey

is out of the money

Frankly Freddie – Dog O’ Blog, Phineas

Unlike me who is very paws-on, Phineas prefers to manage his blog, doodlewash and all the affairs of his humans, Charlie & Phillipe behind the scenes.  Cleverly, Phineas has assigned Charlie to do all the work and be the front-dog. 

Water-color by Charlie

I suspect that Charlie tends to click the “publish button” without Phineas’ editorial approval.  Why?  Because almost ALL the pictures of Phineas are Charlie’s water-color paintings of him rather than photos.

Also, Charlie has jumped to some conclusions about Phineas that we canines would NEVER assume about humans. 

Cases in point (I quote Charlie):

“Since he was a rescue found growing up on the tough streets of Topeka, Kansas, we assume he must have a very small town view of the world. This, combined with his rather wrinkled brow that makes it seem like he’s always a bit irritated with something and judging you, led to us deciding he’s also an extremely ultra-conservative Republican.”

Phineas maneuvered Charlie with the very clever ploy that all us smart canines all know:

” . . . this little Basenji has had a wonderfully unique personality from day one. I still remember going to the shelter and seeing a scraggly little dog with hair so coarse it would almost hurt to touch it. I sat down on the floor of his pen to get to know him and within seconds, he leapt into my lap, rolled on his back and stared up at me. If I was at all undecided, it was clear that Phineas had already made the decision for us. I looked down into those mischievous brown eyes that seemed to say, “Dude, let’s get the hell out of here.” And so we did.”

Phineas getting comfortable with Duckie

“Creative” is Charlie’s “gig” . . . we canines just know how to get comfortable

“His first bit of time spent in his crate, he tore the stuffing out of his bed, which doesn’t seem odd for a dog who is bored. However, after pulling out all of the stuffing, he then re-stuffed it into a different shape, which he found to be more desirable. It felt good knowing I had a dog who was also creative. Though already one and half years old when he arrived, he had the energy, curiosity and enthusiasm of a puppy. It seriously wore me out and made me crazy some days, but I couldn’t fault him as these were also traits we shared.”

Water-color by Charlie

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie . . .you are suffering from human naiveté –  Phineas doesn’t “ASSUME”, he KNOWS.

“Phineas has quite a rich and complex life that’s quite easy to overlook while simply watching him snoring on the couch. When we have dinner parties, it’s referred to as Phineas Café, not because he actually cooks anything, but because he thinks he owns this restaurant. And he will go up to each guest and won’t leave until they tell him the dinner was wonderful or at least satisfactory. Indeed, his demeanor seems to say that he owns this house and all of its inhabitants as well. When I published my recent book, we imagine Phineas saying, “Oh, no! I’m an author now! How much can one little dog do?” He takes credit for everything that happens in our lives, and assumes he must be in charge of it in some way.

Charlie O’Shields, Owned by Phineas

“I’m Charlie O’Shields, and I live in Kansas City, Missouri.I started doodlewash in July 2015 to capture little bits of the world in ink and watercolor. Even though I hadn’t picked up a pen to sketch in over 20 years and I’d only just used watercolor for the first time that day, I got super excited about it, and well, Doodlewash was born. (What’s a doodlewash? Click here!)”

“My posts are actually my art journal. . .  paintings . . . all typically created in the precious little hour I’ve carved out for myself on a weekend or weekdays after work and before dinner!”

“You can also log into this site with your chosen social media provider and join the club! Doodlewash Club, to be exact. A totally free to join watercolor community where you can get your own artist profile, share your work in our global watercolor gallery, interact with other watercolor artists around the globe, and much, much, more!”

 

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Editor-in-Canine, Roving Reporter

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

Phineas earns his badge of distinction

Frankly Freddie – Dogs of No Blogs, Day 2-1/2

Dear Freddie Fans,

Doggone Good Dogs* Buddy and Cookie Klenner

Alas, neither owns a blog. 

They must ask their human why they are being deprived of having a public forum.

Can you tell which one is Buddy and which one is Cookie?

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

https://wp.me/pLGhj-aT0Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

 

*What’s a “Doggone Good Dog”?

  • She or HE has weathered years of human’s life experience.
  • She or HE has navigated changes – whether by choice, chance or necessity – and continues to adapt to human idiosyncrasy.
  • She or HE contributes to the world by caring for humans, both female and male.
  • She or HE is curious and open to having new tasting experiences.

Frankly,  Freddie

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

model

Fur Fun: Freddie’s Forwarning

 You can’t be vain

dancing in the rain

for it’s a sure bet

your paws’ll get wet

your fur will matt

and you’ll looked like

a drowned cat

 

The 3 “R’s of Old Age-Raving, Ranting & Regretting

maybe-better-not-do-a-tantrum-on-the-floor-because-who-knows-if-I-ever-will-get-up-again (title – compliments of Sarah! http://secretartexpedition.wordpress.com)

I do not like being an old lady.  There’s not much I can do about it but I don’t like it.  I don’t like it!  I do NOT like it!  If there was someone watching right now I would lay down on the floor, pummel my legs up and down and scream out obscenities which I’m too embarrassed to write down proving I’m an old lady because I was taught that ladies, no matter their age, don’t swear.  Even now, when I can’t be sent to my room, I hesitate to say “hell” or “shit” much less utter worse.  The problem is I don’t even know what current swear words are.  (There’s even a bigger problem if I lay down on the floor.  With no one here to watch  I might not be able to get back up without help.)

The urban slang dictionary didn’t exist until I was well past middle age and I couldn’t even look up cuss words that were creative.  I’m now stuck with the “hells” and “I don’t give a damns” because that’s all I learned.

Let’s talk about wrinkles (it’s easier than the belly fat that has accumulated around my mid-section when even sucking in my stomach it still blubs around like Santa Claus’ bowl full of jelly.  So wrinkles it is.) 

Why would I want wrinkles? . . . to  prove I’m as wise as I have ostensibly become?  Phony baloney, I’v never seen a wrinkled owl.   Rather than look wise it’s easier to look down my elongating nose at people who have plastic surgery, botox or collagen treatments.  If I weren’t scared of pain and had the money I’d get rid of my wrinkles.  Instead, I’m doomed to cultivating a self-righteous attitude about my aging, sagging, bagging body and pretend to embrace how old I am.

I’ve tried political correctness – how wonderful it is to be wise, to have accumulated all this worldly experience and be on social security . . . I’ve tried to embrace aging, smile when people ask me what I do and act like it’s  wonderful to have no career, no purpose, no energy.  I’ve tried wrinkle creams that promise me youth.  I’ve tried laughing at the “old age” cartoons that appear in my in-box and sting in their truths.

Give me the money (and a bottle of numbing vodka – ladies don’t want alcohol breath) and I’ll be on the next surgeon’s schedule to tighten my jowls, pull up my eyelids and get rid of the bags under my eyes . . .  

I’ve even considered moving to another country where old age is supposedly venerated.   But I’m too tired to pack so I live in these here United States where I’m wise enough to know it’s the youth who say it like it is and have the energy to make this world a better place.

Old age – phooey. It’s highly over-rated . . . by the elderly.

A Cautionary Tale

Dance while you’re young

Pierce your tongue

Dye your hair green

Eat fat, not the lean

Don’t give a lick what makes you tick

Eat, drink and be merry

because if you tarry

you’ll soon be too old

all covered with mold

and have to scrap it off with a stick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday with Mae & Me

“When choosing between two evils,

I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.

Mae West

 

Frankly Freddie, Flash Fiction

Since my human judy fractured her ankle all she does is sit around moaning and nothing I do can get her outside.  So I take my Peggy for walks every day where we are inspired by nature which in turn inspires my creative writing endeavors.

P.S. Some of this story is auto-biographical but names have been eliminated so I don’t get sued.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived a tree.(I frequently start my writing with “Once upon a time” as it lends a universal appeal to readers young and old.Its trunk was crooked and all its bark was peeling.  Big roots spread all around the tree, some deep in the earth and some growing above the ground.  The Tree lived in a park with other trees of its own kind on the far edge of town.  Every day many dogs of differing sizes and persuasions came to claim the tree as their territory.

One day, after years of being claimed,the tree yelled at a big black dog with pointy ears and a black nose sniffing around its roots, “I am NOT your territory!” The big black dog didn’t care what the tree thought, claimed it for its own and walked on looking for more territory.  

Within minutes a little white dog with floppy ears and a wet nose sniffed out where the big black dog had been. “I am a tree not a fire hydrant!,” the tree yelled at the little white dog  who ignored the tree, claimed it for its own and walked on looking for more territory.  

The tree, ever alert for impending indignities, spotted a medium-sized dog with shaggy brown hair and a pink nose approaching.   Finally, after many years of being claimed by many dogs, the tree figured out that actions speak louder than words.  So it picked up its roots and walked away.

The end of my tail

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDN Canine Dog Novelist

There’s a new post on Forest Bathing.  Please tell judy she won’t need to take off her clothes or use soap or water. She can wear her big boot that protects her ankle and I’ll help her meander.

If you want to know what I’m talking about click here: FOREST BATHING 

Update on my fractured ankle

 Week 7 – My nudge to budge :

  • Gained 6 pounds from sitting and knitting

  • My belly is swelling while I’m dwelling

  • There’s solace in chewing while I’m stewing

  • Now my left arm is sore. Could there be more?

Fractured Head to Toe

Food for the Heel

In Pain, Need Sympathy

Fractured head to toe, day 10

Judy judy in a chair

TV blaring, messy hair

Foot throbbing, rumbled clothes 

bleary eyes, throbbing toes

Judy judy bored bored

slowly going out’a her gourd

Judy by judy

 

Celebrate!

It’s Cinco de Mayo time

Drink tequila and lime

Eat to the beat

Take a chance and dance

so the chips don’t go to your hips

https://catnipblog.com/2017/06/22/brain-dance-bust-a-move-and-a-toe-or-two/

Read:  Research findings suggest that combining physical, cognitive, and social engagement like dance can improve cognitive health.

See:  Twirl, Whirl & Swirl

Meet My Foot Feat, day 4

It’s only DAY 3 of my “convalescence” and the thought of spending most of my time sitting with my foot up for 3 WEEKS is __________.  Fill in the blank and it’s probably close to the mark.

So far I’ve worked on CATNIPblog posts, worked on Peggy & my Happiness project, started reading a new book and watched far too much TV.  My “rear-end” is already beginning to hurt as much as my foot.

I have more time on my hands (and feet) than ever yet have less focus than ever.  Looking for something creative to add to my sit-down-activities I decided to finish pages (upon pages) I started years ago in my many journals.  

judy’s journal, collage, acrylic, marking pens

Today I picked a page that required no thought, just schmearing a bit of paint with my finger and doodling with marking pens.  I have no clue why I wrote the fishy-poem I remember from childhood on the page.

Fishy fishy in a brook

Papa catch ’em with a hook

Mama fry ’em in a pan

Baby eat ’em like a man

Need to catch up? Here’s what happened to me:

In pain, Need Sympathy

Food for the HEEL

 

 

 

 

April 29th – Flashy Fun!!

In 1982 the Dance Committee of ITI founded International Dance Day to be celebrated every year on the 29th April, the birthday of Jean-Georges Noverre (1727-1810), creator of modern ballet. The intention of the International Dance Day Message is to celebrate dance, revel in the universality of this art form, cross all political, cultural and ethnic barriers, and bring people together with a common language – dance. 

Take a look at another flash mob, click here:  DO RE MI

 

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Monkeying around

As YOU ALL know my favorite things to draw are nudes . . .

Swing from the trees

by your knees

On a whim

go out on a limb

Monkey see, monkey do

I dare you

Easter Pome & “HEALTHY” Chocolate Brownie Recipe

This Easter be a vegetarian

It’s only utilitarian

don’t eat rats

or worms or bats

Celebrate the day

and eat hay

No chocolate covered ants

chow down on plants

No eggs fried

there’s a chick inside

Don’t EAT us few

and we won’t BUG you.

“Be kind to all people, love humanity, consider all mankind as your relations and servants of the most high God.”

Here’s our bribe

It’s hard to describe

Healthy Double Chocolate brownie recipe

Click here to imbibe

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Seenagers R Us (Senior Teenagers)

Epiphany! My CATNIPblog co-creator, Peggy, and I are not elderly, we are not senior citizens, we are not wise-women, we are NOT, we are NOT, we are NOT.

We are Seenagers and  have everything we wanted as teenagers.  It just took us 60 years to get “there”.

Judy & Peggy (Peggy is actually taller than Judy but Judy wears high heels and has to stand up straighter so the birdie doesn’t fall off)

We don’t have to go to school or work.

We get an allowance every month.

We don’t have a curfew.

We have driver’s licenses and our own cars.

We have ID’s that gets us into bars and wine stores.  We like the wine store best.

We are not scared of getting pregnant.  We aren’t scared of anything because we’ve been blessed to live this long. Why be scared?

We don’t have acne.

Thanks Sharon M.!!!

Check out how Seenagers can improve their BRAINS https://wp.me/p18HbQ-2h4

Celebration, Confession and Happy Anniversary*

Noticed the new header?  The critters are creations from CATNIPblog and the magnificently, masterful, murky minds of Peggy & me.

Love group

Tweeter, Woofer, Meowie, Squeakie & Grunter the Worm

Prisoner of Love

Here’s whatsup:

After retiring I have more and more time but, as you’ve noticed, there have been fewer and fewer posts on CURIOUS.  I have a “tendency” to accomplish things when faced with deadlines and commitments.  My other “tendency” is procrastination when left to my own devises.

Peggy, my co-collaborator on CATNIPblog, has provided both – deadlines & commitment.  She sets up the posting schedule and my commitment to her provides the impetus.

Because Curious to the Max is my first love – been posting since 2009 – I’ve asked Peggy  to help me schedule more CURIOUS posts.  She agreed (without completely knowing what she was getting into) to help, although I have not relinquished editorial control.  CURIOUS to the Max will stay true to:  “Curious STUFF that makes me love, learn and laugh”

CATNIPblog will stay true to:

“Self-care tips, tools, techniques & neuroscience research for MIND, BODY & SOUL – shared with a wink and a smile”

img_2891-1

Meowie

*P.S. Peggy and I, grateful for all the support and positive responses we’ve received, are holding a one-year-anniversary drawing from the list of all CATNIP’s subscribers.  To get in on the drawing click here:

CATNIPblog.com

Frankly Freddie – Valentine’s Day Pome

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I’m not allowed chocolate

Valentine’s day . . .  pooh

The only good thing about Valentine’s day is the candy and I never get any.  I sit alone, no valentines, no candy, no romance.  The only thing I get is dog food.

If you are sitting home alone on Valentine’s day with dog food you are not alone.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Poet

___________________________________________________

Find out how:

Sugar Increases the “happiness” neurotransmitter serotonin.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published PoetSaveSave

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When Politicians Laughed

Michael Davis Ford’s Theater part 2 

(Watch the secret service behind the President trying not to laugh)

With all the turmoil in the world I appreciate more than ever anything that makes me laugh. 

‘THE JUGGLER‘ is worth another watch – even if you’ve seen it before.  

Only those of us over 50 would probably recognize the people in the front row.

Thanks Sharon M.!

Frankly Freddie – Halloween Orange Alert

To all Human-beings:  It’s time for my Halloween ORANGE-ALERT.

 This Halloween

Don’t be mean!

Don’t you dare

make others stare

Dressing up

your precious pup

Please be fair!

just let us wear

our own hair.

Example of suspicious clothing

 To All my Canine Cousins:

Be on the look-out for your human coming back from the store with suspicious articles of clothing and paraphernalia that is NOT THEIR color, style or size.  If they start sweet-talking you or offering you treats RUN for your life & HIDE.

Example of humiliation.

No matter how many times I HAVE TOLD HUMANS not to humiliate us because they want to be amused it happens every year.  I prefer to think that Humans just aren’t very smart and have no memory retention beyond a few hours rather than the possibility they are simply insensitive creatures with no regard for our feelings.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, PIC&C

Protector of Innocent Creatures & Critters

and Kittys & Witches

 

Inktober Unmasked

Mardi Gras Meowie

Oct 31 Prompt MASK

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

INKTOBER – THE END!

Inktober – Happy Halloween

Lost and Found

Oct 30 Prompt FOUND

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Squeaky Inky Tober

A Squeaky Mouse Gets the Cheese

Oct 26 prompt SQUEAK

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Ink Dinky Dinghy

I Spy Matey Meowie

Oct 25 Prompt SHIP

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inktober – Tail Trail

Strolling by the Stream

Oct 22 Prompt TRAIL

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inky Dinky Furry Fury

Meower on the Verge

Oct 21 Prompt FURIOUS

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inky Dinky Inktober – Fat

HEALTHY fat is good for your brain*!

The USDA recommends that healthy adults over the age of 19 consume between 20 and 35 percent of their daily calories from fat. Young children (ages 1 to 3 years) need as much as 40 percent of their daily calories to come from fat. If you eat a diet of 2,000 calories per day, ingest between 44 grams and 77 grams of total fat daily. 

Oct 16 Prompt FAT – Sugar High

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inktober – Mysterious

This mysterious kitty is featured on Halloween stuff on our ZAZZLE CATNIP Shop.

  • Kitchen Towels
  • Paper Cups
  • Napkins,
  • Mugs
  • Special Orders on any thing your heat desires (as long as Zazzle makes it we can decorate it!)

Oct 15 Prompt MYSTERIOUS

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inktober – Teeming with Good Witches

Whaahooo! These witches are found on our ZAZZLE CATNIP Shop.  They decorate:

  • Kitchen Towels
  • Paper Cups
  • Napkins,
  • Mugs
  • Special Orders

Can’t get more “teeming” than that!

Oct 13 Prompt TEEMING

Inktober – Cheesy Perspective

Everything is just a matter of perspective!

Oct 10 Prompt GIGANTIC – It’s the Cheesiest

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inktober – Which Way Witchy

Some days are just like this . . .

Oct 8 Prompt CROOKED – Which Way Witchy

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-7 Day Retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

INKTOBER – The Long & Shy of it

We’re almost caught up for the first week of Inktober with a drawing a day!

Oct 5 Prompt LONG – Meowie

Bashful is a mood magnet on our ZAZZLE/catnip shop but it was an ink drawing first so Peggy & I think it qualifies for Inktober!

Oct 6 Prompt SHY –  Bashful Meowie

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week Sunday-retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober

Inky Dinky-Tober – Poison & Under Water

INKTOBER: 31 Days, 31 drawings, based on pre-set prompts.  

Oct 3 Prompt POISON, Your Choice

Oct 4 Prompt UNDER WATER, Woofer’s Deep Dive

Posting a drawing a day on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week-retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click-off the dailies!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inky Dinky October – Swift & Divided

If you’ve followed Curious to the Max for a long time you know I’ve periodically participated in blog-challenges.   Having a chronic condition like fibromyalgia sometimes derails me so I talked Peggy Arndt, my co-blogger from CATNIPblog , into participating with me in Inktober.

INKTOBER: 31 Days, 31 drawings, based on pre-set prompts.  

Peggy & I have been doing ink sketches for CATNIPblog so here’s da plan:

I’ll post a drawing a day (we are a few days behind) on Curious to the Max with a once-a-week-retrospective on CATNIPblog for those of you who just want to click- off the dailies!

Riding bicycle, dark orange copy:border

October 1, SWIFT prompt,  Meowie Rides Again

Oct 2, Divided prompt, Woofer & Meowie

Tomorrow, I’ll post more “catch-ups”.

If you want to participate too, send us your ink sketches and we’ll post them with ours! Here’s the information:

Frankly Freddie – My new fan club president

Dear Freddie Fans,

Those of you who follow CURIOUS to the Max do not know about my continuing frustration with Peggy & Judy and CATNIPblog.  A case in point:

https://catnipblog.com/2017/08/12/frankly-freddie-go-bonkers/

So it is with delight that my fans are beginning to speak up and let Peggy & Judy know

that without me they and their “cats” would be up a tree.

My # 1 fan (at the present) is JOYCE K.*  She alone has deluged CATNIPblog with cries for MORE FREDDIE!  As a reward I have made her PRESIDENT.

Lick’n Good

Dear Joyce K., Newly Elected Freddie Fan Club President, Stellar human-being and Sender of treats.

I received your payment of one bag of Doggie Treats to join the Freddie Fan Club. The are quite tasty.  Thank you.  I have nominated you for president and duly elected you to that coveted office.  Your official duties are as follows:

  • Increase Freddie Fan Club membership to 100.  Prospective members should pay  a bag of doggie treats directly to you.  You will keep track of the inventory and disburse doggie treats on a regular basis (to be determined based on membership payments) to Freddie Parker Westerfield, object of all fans’ adoration.
  • Neatly frame and display my autographed picture for all the world to see.
  • Find recipes for doggie treats that are tasty.
  • Make the recipes for doggie treats every month and send them to Freddie Parker Westerfield, home-made doggie treat connoisseur.
  • Other duties to be determined, as needed, warranted or wanted by Freddie.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT RET.

*Joyce is currently owned by several Canine Dogs.  Her newest owner COOKIE Dog is probably my cousin.  Joyce, please run DNA test.

Cookie K.

 

 

 

Update on my condition

Papa’s Instructions Pome

Children of ours,  it’s your time to play

So listen closely to what I say

To your DNA you must stay true

Here’s exactly what you are to do:

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Mama Cold, Papa Cold and their 3 virus babies 

Baby 1

Dump buckets of muck

up judy’s nose

Make sure you duck

before she blows

Baby 2 

Bang on her brain

whistle in her ears

like a choo choo train

til she bursts into tears.

Baby 3

Pound on her head

jump on her chest

all night long in bed

so she gets no rest

Children, it’s now up to you

judy is yours to do

Cuz Mama is weary 

teaching how-to

 with no app or Siri.

And your papa is tiring

 of non-stop siring

It’s Mom & me off to find a new home

Hallelujah! you’re on your own

Practice what we’ve taught

drive judy crazy, make her lazy

don’t give it an afterthought

Spend all your time

making her go outa her mind

Antidote for Santa – Peace & Good Cheer

My Annual Christmas pome – Sick Ole St Nick undoubtedly struck a chord among my many many followers – well at least one . . .

images

By Sharon Bonin-Pratt*

Goodness, I feel sorry for the poor man in red his weary reindeer and sled
Don’t blame me cuz I’ve never participated in dragging that man from his bed
The worst you can say is I’ve not enough candles and therefore can’t light
All my eight menorahs, yes, count ’em, eight Hanukkah for eight days of light
Tell Santa to give up the late ride and eat chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil
Safer to spin driedles, tell stories of brave Maccabees and the miracle of oil
And he’ll feel much better when he rises well rested at the end of this year
Not having delivered gifts heavier than a wish for peace and good cheer

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Happy Chanukah!!

*Disclosure:  Printed without permission from the author . .  

Annual Christmas Day Pome – Sick Ole St Nick

T’was the Day After Christmas Eve Pome

It’s true so they say that on Christmas day

old St Nick is always sick

from sugar, carbs, inhaling soot

and lunging sacks of children’s loot

Santa has to unbuckle his belt

to make room for cookies, and chocolate gelt

Popping antacids with each milk drink

he’s lactose intolerant, that’s why the wink

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Up all night,

by mornings light he’s a fright

The chubby ole fellow, no longer mellow

Back’s in spasm, eyes are red

Climbing to chimney tops, legs like lead

When home he goes, the ho ho hoes

have turned to moans

the silent night filled with grunts and groans

No longer just plump he’s a fat grump

 images-3

The reindeer too have lost their cheer

for all things festive in the New Year

His packed on pounds during the rounds

create huge drag for even a stag

They huff, puff and wheeze

looking for a stiff breeze

to help carry Santa over roof tops and trees

All the way back the reindeer pray

he’ll loose 50 pounds before next Christmas day

Cuz Rudolph et. al are running out of gas

hauling Santa’s growing ass

  *   *   *

Merry Christmas to all who indulge and bulge!

from judy and Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

Why Santa never gets caught

https://doodlewash.com/2016/12/22/how-do-reindeer-fly/

Doodlewash is a blog I follow – both for Charlie O’s great water-colors but even more for his wonderful stories and descriptions about each drawing.

Today’s Doodlewash post inspired my pome.

Pome by judy

No one catches Santa on the roof

or in the snow sees prints

of tiny reindeer hoof

for Santa’s no bigger than a fly

and reindeer all the size of ants

ferry him through the Christmas sky

I don’t think it silly at all

to imagine reindeer quite so small

and know 

how Santa slides down chimney flues

with nary much soot on his beard or shoes

So make your cookies the size of peas

and leave the milk in a thimble please

Limit the weight of gifts and such

to crush an ant

 it doesn’t take much

   *     *    *

To read Charlie O’s inspiring story click here:

How Do Reindeer Fly?

21 ways to keep your sanity for the holidays

 Only  15 days till Chanukah!    15 days till Christmas!  22 days till New Year’s!  Time for my yearly reminder on how to keep sane.

Christmas:

  1. Instead of buying  a tree watch your friends decorate (and take down) theirs
  2. Convert to Judaism
  3. Sit in the lobby of a 5-star hotel and enjoy EXPENSIVE decorations.
  4. ADOPT a pig, instead of eating one.
  5. Make dinner potluck, you supply the paper plates and plastic cutlery
  6. Christmas dinner – Start with dessert and forget the rest.
  7. Sit on the beach in Bali.

8.  Go to bed on the 23rd and get up on January 3rd.*

9.  Only buy presents for Jesus.

10. Put a cover on the outside chimney opening so you don’t have to put out cookies and milk.

Chanukah:

11. Watch your friends decorate (and take down) their Christmas tree.

12. Convert.

13. Stay in a 5-star hotel for 8 days and nights.

14. Use credit cards instead of gelt

15. Instead of gambling with a dreidle at home go to Vegas

16. Don’t give presents, do good deeds

17. Go to bed on Thanksgiving and wake up on New Years**

18. Bake potatoes instead of grating them to death

19. Eat macaroons with Ben & Jerry

New Years:

20. *Remember! Stay in bed until the 3rd, unless you’re Jewish.

21. **If you are Jewish, go back to bed.

 

Peace on Earth & Sanity to all my Friends!

A Frankly Freddie Thanksgiving

Dear Human Beings,

Time for my ANNUAL Thanksgiving ‘Ode To Tom’ and tell you what I’m thankful for:

  • I’m thankful that I was not born in a country where they eat dogs.
  • I’m thankful you are all my best friends!
  • I’m thankful for all the treats I get even if I don’t get as many as I deserve
  • I’m thankful I am soft and fluffy so people want to pet me
  • DSCN4217Freddie Parker Westerfield,  Poet Laureate

A Turkey’s Tale

by Freddie Parker Westerfield

A turkey named Tom lived on a farm

His story is such, so they say

Waking at dawn

he’d peck at the lawn,

searching for bugs,

nibbling on slugs

of which he was particularly fond.

Then on Thanksgiving day

Gobbledy gobbledy gone!

So if  YOU took Tom from off his farm

in the middle of the night

please give him due thanks

for gracing your table.  (It’s  fitting and only right).

And for all the bugs and many slugs

which make him an organic delight

P.S.  I was told to tell you that my Human-being wishes you all things to be grateful for in your life, like she’s grateful for me.
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My BEST FRIEND Shari sent me this picture.  I think she might be a Turkeytarian . . .

 

Shower yourself with doodle art

This is one hot shower!  

“Third Man Records is pleased to share the genius surprise gift they received from their friend MICHEL GONDRY. On his own and without anyone’s knowledge, the legendary filmmaker shot a video for “City Lights,” which he sent them the other night. The video is Gondry’s fifth visual collaboration with The White Stripes. “City Lights” was written for The White Stripes’ GET BEHIND ME SATAN but then forgotten until White revisited the 2005 album for Third Man’s Record Store Day 2015 vinyl reissue and finished the recording in 2016. The track is the first new, worldwide commercially released song by The White Stripes since 2008.”

http://jackwhiteiii.com/

Music video by The White Stripes performing “City Lights” (Audio) from Jack White Acoustic Recordings 1998-2016. (C) 2016 Third Face, LLC

Director: Michel Gondry
Producer: Raffi Adlan
Camera/Editor: Brooke Palmieri
Special Thanks: Tilly Pederson, David Gritchen
Production Co: Partizan

 

Frankly Freddie (parenthetically speaking)

Dear Human Beings,

Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, believe everything you read.   This article is a case in point:

New research shows why dogs don’t like hugs.

Staff writers

“PET owners beware — new research has revealed that dogs don’t like hugs from their owners, which can make them (the owners?) more stressed out.”
“According to new research published in Psychology Today, Stanley Coren from the University of British Columbia, said dogs respond differently to humans who seek comfort from hugging others.”
“Coren, who studies canine behaviour, analysed a random sample of 250 pictures of humans hugging their dogs that he could find online through Flickr and a Google image search.” (skewed data – he left out Pintrest and Instagram where the animal pictures are more photogenic)
“In using photos where the dog’s face was easily seen, he looked whether the dog appeared to be anxious or distressed, relaxed, or showed a neutral response to being hugged.”
“He found that around 82 per cent of the photographs showed “unhappy dogs” receiving hugs from their owners or children.”

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

He said that dogs show signs of distress when they bare their teeth (called a smile when humans do it), turn their heads away from something ( just being bored and looking around), or they partially close their eyes (doesn’t everyone close their eyes when ecstatic?).
Another sign of anxiety is when a dog’s ears are lowered or “slicked against the side of his head”. (Stanley, it’s just our coiffure)
He also said that licking lips or licking a person’s face can also be a sign of anxiety, like yawning or raising a paw. (I lick when it’s tasty)
Coren said the fact that dogs don’t like being hugged can be explained by their behavioural nature.

As “cursorial animals”, (cursorial?  I swear I never curse) they are designed for swift running. When stressed, a dog’s first instinct is to run away.
It is believed that when they are restricted from moving with a hug, it can increase a dog’s stress level and potentially cause them to bite their owners. (or bite researchers)

It’s not the hugs that stressed the dogs out it was having their pictures taken WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT to be displayed for all the world to see.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Pulblished Poet

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Blogger

So hug away you human-beings and always follow-up with a treat for us dogs (you got your treat with the hug)

Frankly yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET, CDB

Canine Dog Therapist, Retired and Certified Dog Blogger