Fur Fun: Opportunity

The Fate of young ladies who “demurred”

with Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg  

There once was a Miss

who declined a kiss

fearing the poor lad

would make her look bad

if the news leaked

about her and this geek.

There’s no mystery

The rest is history

 This fearful honey

is out of the money

Frankly Freddie – Dog O’ Blog, Phineas

Unlike me who is very paws-on, Phineas prefers to manage his blog, doodlewash and all the affairs of his humans, Charlie & Phillipe behind the scenes.  Cleverly, Phineas has assigned Charlie to do all the work and be the front-dog. 

Water-color by Charlie

I suspect that Charlie tends to click the “publish button” without Phineas’ editorial approval.  Why?  Because almost ALL the pictures of Phineas are Charlie’s water-color paintings of him rather than photos.

Also, Charlie has jumped to some conclusions about Phineas that we canines would NEVER assume about humans. 

Cases in point (I quote Charlie):

“Since he was a rescue found growing up on the tough streets of Topeka, Kansas, we assume he must have a very small town view of the world. This, combined with his rather wrinkled brow that makes it seem like he’s always a bit irritated with something and judging you, led to us deciding he’s also an extremely ultra-conservative Republican.”

Phineas maneuvered Charlie with the very clever ploy that all us smart canines all know:

” . . . this little Basenji has had a wonderfully unique personality from day one. I still remember going to the shelter and seeing a scraggly little dog with hair so coarse it would almost hurt to touch it. I sat down on the floor of his pen to get to know him and within seconds, he leapt into my lap, rolled on his back and stared up at me. If I was at all undecided, it was clear that Phineas had already made the decision for us. I looked down into those mischievous brown eyes that seemed to say, “Dude, let’s get the hell out of here.” And so we did.”

Phineas getting comfortable with Duckie

“Creative” is Charlie’s “gig” . . . we canines just know how to get comfortable

“His first bit of time spent in his crate, he tore the stuffing out of his bed, which doesn’t seem odd for a dog who is bored. However, after pulling out all of the stuffing, he then re-stuffed it into a different shape, which he found to be more desirable. It felt good knowing I had a dog who was also creative. Though already one and half years old when he arrived, he had the energy, curiosity and enthusiasm of a puppy. It seriously wore me out and made me crazy some days, but I couldn’t fault him as these were also traits we shared.”

Water-color by Charlie

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie . . .you are suffering from human naiveté –  Phineas doesn’t “ASSUME”, he KNOWS.

“Phineas has quite a rich and complex life that’s quite easy to overlook while simply watching him snoring on the couch. When we have dinner parties, it’s referred to as Phineas Café, not because he actually cooks anything, but because he thinks he owns this restaurant. And he will go up to each guest and won’t leave until they tell him the dinner was wonderful or at least satisfactory. Indeed, his demeanor seems to say that he owns this house and all of its inhabitants as well. When I published my recent book, we imagine Phineas saying, “Oh, no! I’m an author now! How much can one little dog do?” He takes credit for everything that happens in our lives, and assumes he must be in charge of it in some way.

Charlie O’Shields, Owned by Phineas

“I’m Charlie O’Shields, and I live in Kansas City, Missouri.I started doodlewash in July 2015 to capture little bits of the world in ink and watercolor. Even though I hadn’t picked up a pen to sketch in over 20 years and I’d only just used watercolor for the first time that day, I got super excited about it, and well, Doodlewash was born. (What’s a doodlewash? Click here!)”

“My posts are actually my art journal. . .  paintings . . . all typically created in the precious little hour I’ve carved out for myself on a weekend or weekdays after work and before dinner!”

“You can also log into this site with your chosen social media provider and join the club! Doodlewash Club, to be exact. A totally free to join watercolor community where you can get your own artist profile, share your work in our global watercolor gallery, interact with other watercolor artists around the globe, and much, much, more!”

 

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Editor-in-Canine, Roving Reporter

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

Phineas earns his badge of distinction

Frankly Freddie – Dogs of No Blogs, Day 2-1/2

Dear Freddie Fans,

Doggone Good Dogs* Buddy and Cookie Klenner

Alas, neither owns a blog. 

They must ask their human why they are being deprived of having a public forum.

Can you tell which one is Buddy and which one is Cookie?

Freddie’s Dogs of Blogs Posts:

https://wp.me/pLGhj-aT0Day 22

Doggone Well Done Dogs – Day 1

Freddie to the Human rescue

Dogs of Blogs – Day 2-1/2

 

*What’s a “Doggone Good Dog”?

  • She or HE has weathered years of human’s life experience.
  • She or HE has navigated changes – whether by choice, chance or necessity – and continues to adapt to human idiosyncrasy.
  • She or HE contributes to the world by caring for humans, both female and male.
  • She or HE is curious and open to having new tasting experiences.

Frankly,  Freddie

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

 Jessica SORTING LIFE’S ISSUES WITH JESS. 

She is hosting Dogs of Blogs, of which I am one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

model

Fur Fun: Freddie’s Forwarning

 You can’t be vain

dancing in the rain

for it’s a sure bet

your paws’ll get wet

your fur will matt

and you’ll looked like

a drowned cat

 

The 3 “R’s of Old Age-Raving, Ranting & Regretting

maybe-better-not-do-a-tantrum-on-the-floor-because-who-knows-if-I-ever-will-get-up-again (title – compliments of Sarah! http://secretartexpedition.wordpress.com)

I do not like being an old lady.  There’s not much I can do about it but I don’t like it.  I don’t like it!  I do NOT like it!  If there was someone watching right now I would lay down on the floor, pummel my legs up and down and scream out obscenities which I’m too embarrassed to write down proving I’m an old lady because I was taught that ladies, no matter their age, don’t swear.  Even now, when I can’t be sent to my room, I hesitate to say “hell” or “shit” much less utter worse.  The problem is I don’t even know what current swear words are.  (There’s even a bigger problem if I lay down on the floor.  With no one here to watch  I might not be able to get back up without help.)

The urban slang dictionary didn’t exist until I was well past middle age and I couldn’t even look up cuss words that were creative.  I’m now stuck with the “hells” and “I don’t give a damns” because that’s all I learned.

Let’s talk about wrinkles (it’s easier than the belly fat that has accumulated around my mid-section when even sucking in my stomach it still blubs around like Santa Claus’ bowl full of jelly.  So wrinkles it is.) 

Why would I want wrinkles? . . . to  prove I’m as wise as I have ostensibly become?  Phony baloney, I’v never seen a wrinkled owl.   Rather than look wise it’s easier to look down my elongating nose at people who have plastic surgery, botox or collagen treatments.  If I weren’t scared of pain and had the money I’d get rid of my wrinkles.  Instead, I’m doomed to cultivating a self-righteous attitude about my aging, sagging, bagging body and pretend to embrace how old I am.

I’ve tried political correctness – how wonderful it is to be wise, to have accumulated all this worldly experience and be on social security . . . I’ve tried to embrace aging, smile when people ask me what I do and act like it’s  wonderful to have no career, no purpose, no energy.  I’ve tried wrinkle creams that promise me youth.  I’ve tried laughing at the “old age” cartoons that appear in my in-box and sting in their truths.

Give me the money (and a bottle of numbing vodka – ladies don’t want alcohol breath) and I’ll be on the next surgeon’s schedule to tighten my jowls, pull up my eyelids and get rid of the bags under my eyes . . .  

I’ve even considered moving to another country where old age is supposedly venerated.   But I’m too tired to pack so I live in these here United States where I’m wise enough to know it’s the youth who say it like it is and have the energy to make this world a better place.

Old age – phooey. It’s highly over-rated . . . by the elderly.

A Cautionary Tale

Dance while you’re young

Pierce your tongue

Dye your hair green

Eat fat, not the lean

Don’t give a lick what makes you tick

Eat, drink and be merry

because if you tarry

you’ll soon be too old

all covered with mold

and have to scrap it off with a stick