(Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees – days and days and days and daaaaaaaaaaays of celebration. You can send me gifts in lieu of flowers or cake per my birthday season RULES, #3).
To celebrate I slept-in late . . .
Oh nooooooooooooooooo – I have vertical ridges in my fingernails. So, of course, I googled “fingernail ridges”:
“There are many reasons for ridged nails but the most common is aging,” says Dr. Phoebe Rich, M.D, clinical adjunct professor of dermatology at Oregon Health Science University. “As we age the nail matrix becomes atrophiedin areas resulting in longitudinal ridging of nails. I tell people they are like wrinkles in the nails.”
It’s bad enough that my face is wrinkling . . . my neck is wrinkling . . . and now! my fingernails are wrinkling!
The next thing I know I’ll wake up and I will look like a Shar-pei.
Bob Blobfish sez: “I’d be upset too if I woke up looking like a Shar-pei”
After 71 times it’s getting a bit boring . . . another birthday . . . Now don’t get me wrong I’m grateful I’m still around to celebrate but as Groucho Marx said:
“Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.”
The good news is my birthday SEASON** is getting longer . . . and so is YOURS. In case, you’ve forgotten the rules (because you are getting old and forget a lot of things) and want to celebrate your own Birthday Season I’m reposting my repost from my reposted repost that I repost every year.
Birthday Season Rules:
Beginning on the day of your birth your season lasts the number of days you are old. Consequently, every year your Birthday Season is one day longer. With me so far?
You are to celebrate your birth the entire season by choosing whatever you wish to do, or NOT do, each day. So far so good!
People give you presents the entire season. SO GOOD, so far!
You must be over 50 to qualify for Birthday Season status. (Over 50 you need more time to celebrate because it takes you longer.)
You may start your Birthday Season before the actual date of your birth. But you cannot exceed the number of days you are old.
Those who are under the age of 50 can celebrate a Birthday Season as long as they don’t tell anyone or demand presents.(Gargle thoroughly after breakfast to eliminate tell-tale “Birthday Season Breath”.)
You must eat doughnuts everyday for breakfast during your season. (If you don’t like doughnuts you can choose anything you want as long as it isn’t healthy).
Every day of your season you must be grateful for being born and still being alive. (After your Birthday Season is over you can revert to moaning about your age).
**In case, you’ve forgotten how the
Birthday Seasons Rules came to be
(because you are getting old and forget a lot of things)
here’s how :
Many years ago my good friend Bernice and I were sitting in a motel room (don’t go THERE – we were at the motel, attending an imagery conference) eating doughnuts for breakfast. We picked this motel because it had FREE doughnuts and coffee every morning. It was just before our birthdays which are a few weeks apart.
A bit giddy from not sleeping well on motel mattresses and slightly inebriated on chocolate covered doughnuts, we decided that if we were going to get older each year we would at least take advantage of our accumulating age. We created OUR BIRTHDAY SEASON.