Frankly Freddie – Halloween Orange Alert

To all Human-beings:  It’s time for my Halloween ORANGE-ALERT.

 This Halloween

Don’t be mean!

Don’t you dare

make others stare

Dressing up

your precious pup

Please be fair!

just let us wear

our own hair.

Example of suspicious clothing

 To All my Canine Cousins:

Be on the look-out for your human coming back from the store with suspicious articles of clothing and paraphernalia that is NOT THEIR color, style or size.  If they start sweet-talking you or offering you treats RUN for your life & HIDE.

Example of humiliation.

No matter how many times I HAVE TOLD HUMANS not to humiliate us because they want to be amused it happens every year.  I prefer to think that Humans just aren’t very smart and have no memory retention beyond a few hours rather than the possibility they are simply insensitive creatures with no regard for our feelings.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, PIC&C

Protector of Innocent Creatures & Critters

Frankly Freddie – My new fan club president

Dear Freddie Fans,

Those of you who follow CURIOUS to the Max do not know about my continuing frustration with Peggy & Judy and CATNIPblog.  A case in point:

Frankly Freddie – go bonkers

So it is with delight that my fans are beginning to speak up and let Peggy & Judy know

that without me they and their “cats” would be up a tree.

My # 1 fan (at the present) is JOYCE K.*  She alone has deluged CATNIPblog with cries for MORE FREDDIE!  As a reward I have made her PRESIDENT.

Lick’n Good

Dear Joyce K., Newly Elected Freddie Fan Club President, Stellar human-being and Sender of treats.

I received your payment of one bag of Doggie Treats to join the Freddie Fan Club. The are quite tasty.  Thank you.  I have nominated you for president and duly elected you to that coveted office.  Your official duties are as follows:

  • Increase Freddie Fan Club membership to 100.  Prospective members should pay  a bag of doggie treats directly to you.  You will keep track of the inventory and disburse doggie treats on a regular basis (to be determined based on membership payments) to Freddie Parker Westerfield, object of all fans’ adoration.
  • Neatly frame and display my autographed picture for all the world to see.
  • Find recipes for doggie treats that are tasty.
  • Make the recipes for doggie treats every month and send them to Freddie Parker Westerfield, home-made doggie treat connoisseur.
  • Other duties to be determined, as needed, warranted or wanted by Freddie.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT RET.

*Joyce is currently owned by several Canine Dogs.  Her newest owner COOKIE Dog is probably my cousin.  Joyce, please run DNA test.

Cookie K.

 

 

 

Frankly Freddie – Dog Owners are Healthier Hoofers

Dear Subscribers human or otherwise,

My Human has been very lax lately not posting on this MY FAVORITE BLOG but focusing her attention on CATNIPblog which we all know is dedicated to the wrong species.  
She has been a bit under the weather and using that for an excuse not to go to art classes, not to clean her office, not to eat properly, not to do anything she doesn’t want to do.  HUMANS!  I constantly have to remind her it’s time for treats and take her on walks.

My last CATNIPblog post was such an important one that I am referencing it here so all of you who do not have a canine to take care of you will go out and adopt one quickly.

Here’s an excerpt from my post and the salient information:

I take my human out for a walk as often as I can.  She’s a bit delusional . . .  she thinks she’s walking me.  So I constantly have to find proof that she needs to quit patting herself on the back and pat me.

“In a study published in the journal BMC Public Health, dog owners on average walked 22 minutes more per day compared to people who didn’t own a dog.”

“If you look at studies on pet ownership, people who own pets seem to live longer than those who don’t own them,” . . .  

Get a life.  Get a dog . . . like me

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CHT

Certified Human Trainer

If you don’t believe me read this: Dog Owners Walk 22 minutes more per day 

or this: FRANKLY FREDDIE

Frankly Freddie – CATNIP coming to a computer near you!

Thank you for all your responses to my survey.  I got treats for being supportive.

Peggy and my human are excited to launch their new blog CATNIP

I’m getting excited too cuz I’m being supportive and will get treats for my contest.

catnip-logo-2

I keep asking them Why on earth name the new blog CATNIP and not FREDDIE?

According to humans, catnip makes you mellow. (What they don’t know is it drives cats wild with desire.) Peggy & Judy want to help you find your mellow but if it drives you wild with desire for more CATNIP they’ll be pleased.

Peggy and my human each worked for over 210 dog years as Licensed Marriage & Family Therapists.   That’s a lot of years.  They decided to share what they’ve learned and the tools they’ve taught rather than have all their stuff blindly dumped into a shredder after they’re gone.  

So . . .  continuing to be supportive . . .  I’m sponsoring a contest to help them be successful bloggers, like me. 

Everyone who subscribes to

CATNIP

  by Saturday, March 18, 2017 will be entered into a drawing and I, Freddie the supportive one, will send the winners a WONDERFUL prize.

Click here to enter!!  http://CATNIPblog.com 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to CATNIP so Peggy and my human don’t think I’ve sabotaged them (as retired psychotherapists they are sometimes a bit paranoid).

It’s easy – just enter your e-mail address in the subscribe box at the top right hand corner of the CATNIPBLOG site.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCT RET

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET

P.S. I made them promise to have fun doing CATNIP.  I know them . . . if it isn’t fun they won’t do it.  So if you pay attention you’ll see some of their original drawings, stories, poems sneak on cat feet into the CATNIPblog.

 P.P.S.S. Neither Peggy nor my human are very smart when it comes to technical stuff. Ronna Skinner, graphic designer extraordinaire (not to mention Peggy’s cousin-in-law) helped get the cats Peggy drew, safely perched onto the letters where they can play with “CATNIP”  to their hearts content (and not bother me)

Ronna

Ronna

Children’s Pome for Adults – the REAL night before Christmas

Dear human-beings,

Besides being soft and cuddly a mission of mine is to bring poetry to the masses, of which you are some.   And I am here to bring you the truth . . . even though it might hurt.

Santa was frantic at the North Pole

Finances in the red, he was in the hole

Mrs Claus couldn’t afford sugar

For her cookies sublime

Dear old hubby didn’t have a dime

231739-royalty-free-rf-clipart-illustration-of-santa-freaking-out-poster-art-print

North Pole employment had exploded

and Santa’s credit had eroded

He’d spent his last cent on black Friday deals

and turkey with the trimmings for thanksgiving meals

imgres

The night before Christmas he no longer had clout

When all the elves threatened a walk-out

Elf-union held all the chips

As evidenced by the grin on all the elf lips

For every elf in all the land

Had won a pay deal without tipping their hand:

Double pay all December

a free thanksgiving meal in November

Finally fringe benefits for elves was real

For Santa and the Mrs, there was no appeal

Santa had bitten his nails to the quick

Both right and left eyes developed a tic

All Santa could do was self medicate

So he stuffed his mouth from the cookie plate santa-claus-being-drunk-holding-beer-33377069

And downed all the rum from a hot toddy cup

his blood pressure sky-high, went up and up

His big fat belly shook like a bowl full of lead

While visions of bankruptcy danced in his head

So all you children and adults too

Have compassion and learn to make due  

STOP asking for presents and things you don’t need

YOU must now take heed.

It’s no time for greed

If you want Santa another Christmas to live

to every red-kettle-bell-ringer

Dig in your pocket and GIVE.

Poetically yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Frankly Freddie – Dog Days of Summer

My human has been laying around the house all week.  You’ve probably noticed she’s not been commenting on her blog or responding to e-mails.  She overdid it at her last workshop and has been dog-tired ever since.  

Humans are cute, not very smart and take a lot of patience on our part.  Just when I think she’s trained she gets loose and I have no idea where she goes or what she gets into.  All I know is she comes limping home. 

unnamed-1

Picture by Rona H.

She looks a bit dog-eared.

Usually she can pick up the scent and find her way back but if you see her loose on the street don’t call human-control, just bring her home in time for my dinner.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET

Frankly Freddie

Dear Linda B.,

Thank you for sending me a video of Jumpy the dog.  All us canines can do all this, we just don’t want to.   We prefer to conserve our energy for healing rather than performing. 

Sincerely yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET