Frankly Freddie, Caption It! Part I

Dear Freddie Fans,

I’ve had a lot of time on my paws lately since P&J have not been walking with me because it’s been “raining”. (They are very delicate and don’t like to get their hair get frizzy or their tootsies cold.  However, It rarely rains in Southern California.  I suspect they turn the lawn sprinklers on.)  So I’ve been amusing myself by imagining what the captions SHOULD have been on the pictures they draw.

Play along with me please – Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

To get you started, here’s a few from my Canine & Feline Friends (who wish to remain anonymous so their humans don’t know they’ve been on the computer)

#1 Mouse and Mouse

“YOU ate my cheese!”               “Prove it.”

Who does your whisker extensions?

***

#2  Mouse & Eleph

“Try washing it in hot water”

Post your captions in the comments please, I don’t do e-mail.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCH

Certified Canine Humorist & Roving Reporter

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

 

Freddie’s Friday’s Fantastic Finds

NOT Freddie, Male ModelDear all my dearest fans,

SInce retiring Peggy & Judy (hereby referred to as P & J) have not been able to keep me in the style in which I prefer to be kept.  Gourmet doggie treats, doggie day care and trips to the salon are not, so they say,  in their Social-Security-check budget (Social Security, it seems, is neither very social nor secure . ..  for canines).

I thought about crowd-funding but have settled on T-shirts.  They require no ironing and are user-friendly (the T-shirts as well as P & J).

Please buy my T-shirts. click here zazzle.com/store/curioustothemax.  They make wonderful Canine Companion Clothing for all  dog and human-walking.  I promise to use all the proceeds for MY DOGGONE GOOD.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCE

Certified Canine Entrepreneur

https://www.zazzle.com/store/curioustothemax

Man’s Best Friend LimERICKs

LimERICK by Rick

Dogs are incredibly likeable creatures
with many commendable features.
They sniff and they lick
and rarely get sick
whether named Freddie or Duffy or Peaches.

(couldn’t find a name to rhyme with features)

Duffy, Ozzie and
Duffy, Ozzie . . .  and  . . .  Peaches?

*     *     *

LimeRick by Freddie

There once was a dog named Freddie

he sleeps a lot in his beddie

never wears clothes

checks you out with his nose

much more cuddly than any teddie

Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield

 

Freddie-less Friday (again . . .)

Me, all alone at home on Freddie Friday There's NO truth in advertising . . .

Me, all alone at home on Freddie Friday
There’s NO truth in advertising . . .

Dear all my Human-Beings,
My Human-being, once again, didn’t take me to the Freddie Friday night HeART of Spirituality & Creativity workshop.

My Human-being told me everyone made prayer/inspiration cards and showed me these pictures as proof she wasn’t walking in the park.  I was suspicious because she stayed out very late.

I  took her for a walk when she got home.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT
Canine Dog Therapist
 
P.S.  Thank all of you who, in addition to the $13 fee, left me a donation for doggie cookies!!!   

P.P.S. Click on a picture and a slide gallery will appear!  Then you can see BIG pictures. (My Human-being JUST figured this out . . . after 3+ years . . . )

Its’a FREDDIE Friday

Dear all my Human-beings,

My human-being got carried away . . . again.  She decided to cut a few pieces of my hair that had matted. My hair is very fine and soft.  I lead a very active life getting petted by a lot by people and it can get clumped.  Human-beings  get great comfort in petting me.  I let them.

My human-being got carried away . . . she cut ALL my hair ALL over my body.

My before picture

Hair still on my body

Hair still on my body

My after picture:

Me and my cut hair

Me and my cut hair

Just between you and me I think she didn’t want to pay $50

for grooming which makes me look like this:

Groomed by a PROFESSIONAL

Groomed by a PROFESSIONAL

At least she left my tail alone:

DSCN4812

The End

Sincerely yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT

Canine Dog Therapist

Freddie’s Fundamentals of Life

IMG_9941_2-1

Christina Viera, Advanced Style

Dear Human-beings,

If you’re confused about your direction in life never, ever, NEVER  lie down in the street.  It’s not safe, not comfortable, not clean. Keep walking and sniffing. You will always find something to claim as territory and leave your mark.  Trust me, it will  be a big “relief”.

Fundamentally yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT

Canine Dog Therapist

P.S.  My Human-being has been lying in the middle of the street for a while.  I have to be very patient with her . . . it’s hard being human.