Frankly Freddie – CAPTIONIt! #9 & 10 and the WINNERS #7 #8

Dear Freddie Fans,

Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

To get you started, check out CAPTIONit!  Part I  and CAPTIONit! Part 6 or 7 or . . .?

#9

#10

    *     *     *     *

The WINNING captions from my  And as you know by now, your prize is MY delight receiving entries and YOUR WORLD blogging fame.


#7, The WINNER!!! Shari B-P 

“Left foot, left foot, can’t you tell your left from your right?”


 #8, The WINNER!!! –Joyce K.

Prisoner of Love

Shari, Joyce, human-beings,

You are currently my favorite winners!  Thank you from the bottom of my treat container,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Humor Editor

 

Frankly Freddie – CAPTIONit!, #7 & #8

Dear Freddie Fans,

Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

Get inspiration – check out CAPTIONit!  Part I  and the  Winner of  #5 & #6 below*

#7

#8

Congratulations Bernice!!!!

*You wrote The WINNING captions (Actually, you don’t win anything except my gratitude for participating and WORLD blogging fame.):

Caption It #5 – Money DOESN’T grow on trees.


Caption It. #6 – Portrait of “Screaming Mimi”


Send me your captions for #7 & #8 . . . . for consideration

Frankly, Freddie

Humorist Editor-in-Chief

Frankly Freddie, Caption It! Part I

Dear Freddie Fans,

I’ve had a lot of time on my paws lately since P&J have not been walking with me because it’s been “raining”. (They are very delicate and don’t like to get their hair get frizzy or their tootsies cold.  However, It rarely rains in Southern California.  I suspect they turn the lawn sprinklers on.)  So I’ve been amusing myself by imagining what the captions SHOULD have been on the pictures they draw.

Play along with me please – Create a Caption and I’ll post them to share with all my fans.

To get you started, here’s a few from my Canine & Feline Friends (who wish to remain anonymous so their humans don’t know they’ve been on the computer)

#1 Mouse and Mouse

“YOU ate my cheese!”               “Prove it.”

Who does your whisker extensions?

***

#2  Mouse & Eleph

“Try washing it in hot water”

Post your captions in the comments please, I don’t do e-mail.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCH

Certified Canine Humorist & Roving Reporter

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

 

Freddie’s Friday’s Fantastic Finds

NOT Freddie, Male ModelDear all my dearest fans,

SInce retiring Peggy & Judy (hereby referred to as P & J) have not been able to keep me in the style in which I prefer to be kept.  Gourmet doggie treats, doggie day care and trips to the salon are not, so they say,  in their Social-Security-check budget (Social Security, it seems, is neither very social nor secure . ..  for canines).

I thought about crowd-funding but have settled on T-shirts.  They require no ironing and are user-friendly (the T-shirts as well as P & J).

Please buy my T-shirts. click here zazzle.com/store/curioustothemax.  They make wonderful Canine Companion Clothing for all  dog and human-walking.  I promise to use all the proceeds for MY DOGGONE GOOD.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CCE

Certified Canine Entrepreneur

https://www.zazzle.com/store/curioustothemax

Man’s Best Friend LimERICKs

LimERICK by Rick

Dogs are incredibly likeable creatures
with many commendable features.
They sniff and they lick
and rarely get sick
whether named Freddie or Duffy or Peaches.

(couldn’t find a name to rhyme with features)

Duffy, Ozzie and
Duffy, Ozzie . . .  and  . . .  Peaches?

*     *     *

LimeRick by Freddie

There once was a dog named Freddie

he sleeps a lot in his beddie

never wears clothes

checks you out with his nose

much more cuddly than any teddie

Freddie Parker Westerfield

Freddie Parker Westerfield

 

Freddie-less Friday (again . . .)

Me, all alone at home on Freddie Friday There's NO truth in advertising . . .

Me, all alone at home on Freddie Friday
There’s NO truth in advertising . . .

Dear all my Human-Beings,
My Human-being, once again, didn’t take me to the Freddie Friday night HeART of Spirituality & Creativity workshop.

My Human-being told me everyone made prayer/inspiration cards and showed me these pictures as proof she wasn’t walking in the park.  I was suspicious because she stayed out very late.

I  took her for a walk when she got home.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT
Canine Dog Therapist
 
P.S.  Thank all of you who, in addition to the $13 fee, left me a donation for doggie cookies!!!   

P.P.S. Click on a picture and a slide gallery will appear!  Then you can see BIG pictures. (My Human-being JUST figured this out . . . after 3+ years . . . )

Its’a FREDDIE Friday

Dear all my Human-beings,

My human-being got carried away . . . again.  She decided to cut a few pieces of my hair that had matted. My hair is very fine and soft.  I lead a very active life getting petted by a lot by people and it can get clumped.  Human-beings  get great comfort in petting me.  I let them.

My human-being got carried away . . . she cut ALL my hair ALL over my body.

My before picture

Hair still on my body

Hair still on my body

My after picture:

Me and my cut hair

Me and my cut hair

Just between you and me I think she didn’t want to pay $50

for grooming which makes me look like this:

Groomed by a PROFESSIONAL

Groomed by a PROFESSIONAL

At least she left my tail alone:

DSCN4812

The End

Sincerely yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT

Canine Dog Therapist

Freddie’s Fundamentals of Life

IMG_9941_2-1

Christina Viera, Advanced Style

Dear Human-beings,

If you’re confused about your direction in life never, ever, NEVER  lie down in the street.  It’s not safe, not comfortable, not clean. Keep walking and sniffing. You will always find something to claim as territory and leave your mark.  Trust me, it will  be a big “relief”.

Fundamentally yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT

Canine Dog Therapist

P.S.  My Human-being has been lying in the middle of the street for a while.  I have to be very patient with her . . . it’s hard being human.

The Fibro-Freddie Fix

After, Informal snap shot

YOUR Freddie dose

Dear all my Humane-Being friends and admirers,

As you already know my human-being has fibromyalgia & heart arrhythmias. (It would be impossible for you not to know because she reminds everyone all the time).  However,  you may not know that:

she has found a CURE !!!

THE BEST  medication she regularly takes is a dose of Freddie.    I’m always available, no prescription needed and I give her as many  refills as she wants, whenever she wants (I’m pretty sure she’s addicted).

 I may be more expensive than her other meds.  She rudely pointed this out today by waving the $162.72 Vet bill – I have a small ear infection – at me.  I promptly gave her another dose of Freddie.

Since I’m in charge of refills it can be exhausting keeping up with her need for a  fix.  (Treats, walks and sleep have to be regularly injected into my “capsule”).

Faithfully yours,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Canine Dog

P.S.  Before I forget – check out

THE NATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA ASSN (NFA) Facebook page.

NFA Facebook has a humongous amount of information – lots’a questions & answers, research news, short videos on things that I provide relief from. (I’m not suppose to end a sentence with a proposition but I love propositions – like proposing to go for a rest right now).  Time for my refill.

Me, getting my refill

Me, getting a refill

Cheerfully Schmutzy

DSCN4391

Freddie is smutzen!

Freddie got a bath today because he had schmutz on his face.  Schmutz?  It’s a yiddish word that is largely untranslatable.

Here’s an example from the web:
schmutz: “Used by Jewish mothers to identify that you’ve got some kind of “crap” on your face”*

(Good Jewish mothers never use words like crap.  They don’t have to. Schmutz says it all.)

                                                                    
Freddie doesn’t like baths so I explained to him that” “God loveth those who are pure. Naught . . .  in the sight of God is more loved than purity and immaculate cleanliness.” The Báb, Baha’i

He still wanted a treat for his bath ordeal. 
*South German and Jewish (Ashkenazic): nickname for a dirty or slovenly person, from German Schmutz ‘dirt’, Middle High German smuz. South German: nickname for a cheerful person, from a noun derivative of Middle High German smutzen ‘to smile’. http://www.ancestry.com/

Weird Science – PG-13, due to scatological language

"Soooo embarrassing.  Has she no sense of propriety?"

“Soooo embarrassing. Has she no sense of propriety?”

Freddie, I conjecture, lived his life confined and ignored before he was “confiscated” (as his papers say ) and taken to a Dog Shelter.  He went poo & pee whenever and where ever.

I came to this conclusion when he pooped in the house “several” times without our knowing.  A few months later he still gives no indication when he needs to “go”.  Consequently, I walk him twice a day until I scoop poop.  He’s catching on – with each walk he takes longer and longer to poo.

Freddie’s very smart.  He can now sit-stay, lay down, stand up and twirl, crawl, wait while standing, high five, low five and lick his lips on command.  I’m thinking about toilet training him to know if his poop floats.  Until then I’ll have to take this science article on face value – Freddie’s poop probably sinks.

If you’re curious whether your poop floats take a look at: 

Friday Weird Science !!!!

All Work and No Play make Judy a Dull Girl

I am sure I was hit by a truck last night.  As soon as my eyes opened I looked around for evidence: The bedroom walls were standing; The window wasn’t shattered; and Freddie was sleeping peacefully.  Freddie rarely barks but I would hope that if  I was in danger of being hit by a truck he’d warn me.

I woke up feeling exhausted, my back hurt, my legs hurt, my brain hurt and if I hadn’t just had my eye-sight checked I would have sworn there was a 50 pound gorilla sitting on my chest.

Here I have today off and all I want to do is pull the covers over my head and going back to sleep.

So I forced myself to do three things to feel better:

1.  I said my “go-to”  Baha’i prayer when I’m in one of those “woe is me” spaces.

2.  I watched 2 videos on “PLAY!”  (I was so inspired by the 4 minutes I watched the longer 12 minute version too).

3.  Freddie and I went outside to play.

Take your pick: 4-minutes of video, 1/2 – minute of prayer,

12-minutes of video,!*

4 minutes

30 seconds

“O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit.
Purify my heart. Illumine my powers.
I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge.
I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved;
I will be a happy and joyful being.
O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me.
I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.

O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.”

12 minutes

*You’ll have to find your own play-mate.  

Freddie’s done playing and resting in the sun. 

DSCN4037

http://seriouslythemovie.com/