Frankly Freddie – Dog Days of Summer

My human has been laying around the house all week.  You’ve probably noticed she’s not been commenting on her blog or responding to e-mails.  She overdid it at her last workshop and has been dog-tired ever since.  

Humans are cute, not very smart and take a lot of patience on our part.  Just when I think she’s trained she gets loose and I have no idea where she goes or what she gets into.  All I know is she comes limping home. 

unnamed-1

Picture by Rona H.

She looks a bit dog-eared.

Usually she can pick up the scent and find her way back but if you see her loose on the street don’t call human-control, just bring her home in time for my dinner.

Frankly,

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Published Author

Freddie Parker Westerfield, Certified Canine Therapist, RET

Pepper

Dear all my best friends,

Exhausted from writing all those Maxaiku responses

I found all your comments quite inspiring and I responded to everyone in Maxaiku.   Writing all those Maxaiku left me a bit tired so I made my human write today’s prompt “pepper”.  

Speaking of pepper – when I first adopted my Humans I started training them immediately.  

They had this inexplicable attachment to things like bed comforters, sofas and shoes.  As you know, THINGS are not what is important in life.  

So their first training lesson was to break them of the bad habit of coveting.  

I chewed up their “things”.  My Humans, in a vain attempt to dissuade me, sprayed cayenne pepper on everything.  It was delicious.

* * *

Love or hate on tongue

taste buds of our perception

chili pepper us

* * *

Love, the spice of life

God peppers while we simmer

very tasty treat

Human Training Gone to the Dogs

Dear All My Best Friends,

I’ve noticed that you humans let us off the hook more than you do your own kind. That pleases me.

When my Humans get upset with me, extremely infrequently I might add,  I’ve trained them to feel bad for getting upset so they give me cookies to make sure MY feelings aren’t hurt.

Now when human’s get upset at other humans they never seem to feel bad.  As a matter of fact they feel rather righteous even when the other human cocks his head and doesn’t say a word.  (An advanced nuance of training is the head cock)

Here’s the basic principles of Human Training by me, Max

  • Never pay attention to what humans say.  Only pay attention to what humans do.  Most of the time their words and behavior don’t match anyway.
  • When your humans do something you like reward them with a cookie. ( Humans seem to reward each other with what they want, not what the other humans want – so give them a taste of their own medicine!)   If there are no cookies immediately available wag your tail (some respond well to tail wagging).
  • When your humans do something you can’t stand ignore them – go outside and look for lizards.  If it is raining you can bring a ball for them to play with as a distraction.  Whatever you do, don’t punish them.  Humans thrive on negative attention

That’s it for now.  My humans are due for their daily reinforcement training.  Have you ever noticed what short attention spans humans’ have?
Lickingly LLLLLLLLLL,

Max.

P.S.  Here are some of my friends who have already trained their Human Maureen.

Maureen wrote this on her blog:   http://moisbloggingithink.wordpress.com/

“I will tell you about my pets…people with fur…as Oprah calls her pets.

  • Bootsie:  Tuxedo cat, great hunter of dang twist ties and rings off the milk bottles.  She will fetch for as long as SHE wants.  Entertaining for her Humans.  After we all go to bed she begins her howling, running through the house.  I think it is hysterical. She sounds like she is in heat.” (Bootsie has Maureen WELL trained.  A sign of GREAT human training is when you do something so disturbing to the senses  humans think it’s funny.) .
  • “Tootsie:  Keeshond.  Not the most athletic breed.  They call the breed “Low energy”.  Yep, if the fireplace is going she is there.  She plays for about five minutes and she is done.  Her main job she thinks is to bark at anything and just look good”.  (Tootsie, is my hero.  She has Maureen SO WELL trained that she doesn’t have to do ANYTHING but bark and look good! Wanna be one of my trainers Tootsie?)

You’d think that humans would have figured out by now that they should TRAIN each other instead of TRYING to TALK to each other.