I give up – “J” is for judy. I’ve been resisting the urge but finally my ego gave in . . . and out.
My split personality Who am I anyway? Identity Crisis Coming to a Computer Near You is more split then ever.
Judith, the suave and sophisticated, is tired. She has gone to bed and crawled under the covers. However, I’ve caught her sneaking out and writing about emotional things from her past. She’s informed me that I’m not to publish them on the blog to “blow her cover” (sorry, I couldn’t resist – it just slipped out).
judy has been the one out in public. I am pretty sure she’s trying to keep things light because Judith is so tired (and cranky I might add . . . most unbecoming). My judyJudith personality is not a gimmick, not a joke. I am a person of contradictory extremes. My mind embraces total possibility while my behavior is all-or-nothing. I dive into doing one thing and am consumed by it until the next “possibility” captures my attention. Then I abandon what had been all-consuming and become immersed in something new.
This blog is an example. I find possibilities for posts in almost everything I read, see or experience. Proof: I have bits and pieces of articles, personal experiences, inspirations etc. stored in 934 drafts on this blog! That’s because something intrigued me and then I moved on to my next fascination before I finished the post.
I am fascinated by process rather than product. I like the “doing” better than the “done”.
My curiosity pulls me through life but I’m much more like the mad-hatter than Alice – driven wildly from within rather than focused on a way out.
What can I say?
me is “j”
Things were sooooo much easier before I knew identity was a crisis: so much easier when I was a child and the word identity was something I had to look up in the dictionary; so much easier when I was a young adult and knew everything there was to know; so much easier when I was in mid-life and knew everything I needed to know.
I’d better find my identity before it becomes a full-blown crisis.
Seeing Myself from a Different Perspective
Maybe life is about stumbling, figuring things out . . . redoing, undoing and redoing again. Maybe who we are is meant to be the ultimate mystery and our curiosity is simply to keep us from stagnating while experiencing life, one crisis at time. Maybe?
“OUCH! I think she’s fallen on her head one too many times .”
My last attempt to figure me out: Who am I anyway? Identity Crisis Coming to a Computer Near You.
The whole world is witnessing my identity crisis. I grew up in a time where there was no internet. If you had an identity crisis, no one knew – they just presumed you “missing”. Since I’m on lots of internet and social media sites I realize I should rewrite every cyberspace bio, intro, profile out there . . .
My first rewrite: Former child star (I once was a child and being the first-born grandchild I was the star in the family) who gave up the limelight for a degree in English literature, traumatizing her to the extent that she never read another work of fiction for 30 years (skipped over high school years because they were even more traumatic). After working in the banking business (I was a data entry person when teletype machines were cutting edge) she traveled the world (not the exactly the world but I did hitch-hike in Europe) . . .
. . . too wordy since so far I’m only up to my early 20’s:
Second try: Former child star (gonna keep the star stuff – start off with a bit of dazzle to capture the reader’s attention) who quit being a psychotherapist to pursue her life’s dream and hasn’t a clue what that might be and is a bit afraid that if she knew she couldn’t afford it. Keep reading her blog because when she knows what, who or why she is you’ll know too.
Maybe I’ll just leave all the bio’s and profiles as-is and let people think I’m the oldest psychotherapist on the planet – which might be a good bookend to being a child star . . .