Mess’n Around and Cutt’n Up

Mess’n Around and Cutt’n Up

I know, I KNOW, you’ve missed me this past week (I do NOT want to know if you didn’t).  In my life long effort to be better focused I tried to cut down on my computer time . . . browsing the internet, reading blog posts, watching videos, reading the news . . . AND posting.  It really worked except for browsing the internet, reading blog posts, watching videos and reading the news.

With all the time I’ve gained by not posting I’ve been gardening and messing around with sketching.  I tried (tried being the operant word) to use my new pastels to do a realistic portrait.

The lady I drew (using a famous portrait as a reference) was so ugly I was embarrassed to show her in public.  So I just had fun and gave her a cosmetic make-up.  The background got to be so ugly and muddied I just cut it away.  She’s no beauty either but I had nothing else to post . . .

DSCN6476 DSCN6477

 Now that I’ve posted I’m on to browsing the internet, reading blog posts, watching videos and reading the news.

chimpanzee-covering-his_~320626

“More proof she’s losing it . . .”

Can Compassion be Taught?

A blogger friend asked me this question.  Can compassion be taught?
My primitive thoughts:

1.  To be compassionate we have to put our egos aside.  When self-importance, personal need, greed drive us compassion fades.

2. People must be willing to learn.  What’s the saying? You can lead a human to God but you can’t make him believe.

3. Humans can be taught HOW to be compassionate toward others. 

An example that I come across every time I do couples counseling is that each partner intends compassion while the other partner experiences it as hurt or neglect.  The disparity between INTENTION and EXPERIENCE is based on how each of us PERCEIVES our “reality”.

Ex: The man is being compassionate when he tries to find a solution to the wife’s pain and all she wants is a shoulder to cry on and arms around her.  A wife is being compassionate when she expresses FEELINGS by putting  her arms around him when all he wants is her to bring him a hot meal and stop shopping.

Yes, these are stereotypes but substitute what you “do” to show compassion and you can teach yourself how to match your partners experience to you intention.  Just do what your partner wants instead of what you want.  Fill out the blanks to figure it out.

  • When I show compassion I (behavior)________________ therefore that’s what I want from my partner.
  • When my partner shows compassion he/she (behavior)______________________therefore that’s what he/she wants in return.

Almost to a fault you can believe that whatever one person DOES to show their compassion is precisely what they WANT in return.

4. The easiest way to teach compassion is to put the individual in situations with people less fortunate.  World travel, volunteering, support groups, charitable work are all ways of finding compassion.  Internet chat rooms and forums play similar roles.  (I am not yet convinced that having some kind of direct contact is still not the best way to develop compassion but technology has given us the way of behaving compassionately at a distance.)

After compassion is LOVE.

Can you teach love?

ELEMENO P

Not at Starbucks today!!!!!!!!!!  The guy across the hall from my office gave me the password to his internet connection.  I’m grateful but he doesn’t serve coffee or tea.

eLeMeNO = a letter of the alphabet

When I was learning the alphabet ( oh, let’s say about 20 years ago) I thought that elemeno was one of the letters.  I could never figure out how everyone else counted 26 letters.

Now I can’t figure out if I am on letter “L” or letter “e” on the Blogging Challenge A – Z

since I’ve not had internet access for 8 days now. (Count ’em EIGHT, 8, e-i-g-h-t!)

e = eeeeeeeeeeek

i – ick

g = gee whiz

h- how did this happen

t = to ME!

And just in case it’s 9 and not 8 (I’ve lost track ….)

n = no, no , no

i = it’s

n = not

e= eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, again