Give Me My Alone-time

Alone-time is something I relish.  Whether it’s a factor of  my personality or the kind of work I do . . . or both . . .I’m not sure.  

All I’m sure about is I kinda like being with me.   I find myself extremely compatible and understanding!

  • The word, coined in medieval times, originally signified “a completeness in one’s singular being”.
  • In religious terminology, ‘solitude’ typically means the experience of oneness with God.
Today, alone often implies lonely, an absence of something important or essential.
Here’s what it evokes for my good friend Sharon:

A•LONE•LY

by Sharon Mills

To be a•lone is to play your music loudly or softly to please you,
to read in the family room or dance in the living room or sleep on the
couch, at noon,
to clean or not to clean,
to launder or to do homework or to exercise, or not.
to revel in the possibilities of hour, day or week.

To be lone•ly is to turn on any talk show to hear a human voice,
to sigh in the family room or cry in the living room or sleep from
boredom, at noon,
to scream or not to scream,
to be crushed under the weight of things only one cannot do.
to survey all there is to be done and conclude there’s no use.

To be a•lone is to exult in the exuberant monsoon rain storm,
to be delighted that the phone does not ring and there is no raucous
rap on the door,
to be not Netted,
to be able to think a thought through from beginning to end,
to find time to luxuriate in being you.

To be lone•ly is to hunker down with headphones to avoid summer storm,
to wish for the call of even a salesman or that a Witness would come
to the house,
to check for E-mail,
to run from your thoughts as if from a speeding freight train.
to be by yourself and not like the company.

A•lone is time to fill. Lone•ly is time to kill.
A•lone is feast. Lone•ly is famine.
A•lone is choice. Lone•ly is endurance.

I received a lot of responses on from the original post I wrote on lonely and alone

 https://judithwesterfield.wordpress.com/2011/10/14/alone-or-lonely-which-is-worse/?preview=true&preview_id=11845&preview_nonce=5e09523501

I wonder what alone means for you?  

Alone or Lonely: Which is Worse?

  • Collage, Mitten-hands stop me from reaching out. Noodle-brain -in my mind, not my heart

    First, I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately.  Lonely in the sense I’ve not had time, taken time, to be in contact with my good friends, locked in my home office with paperwork.

    Second, I saw an interview on one of the morning shows about how some women were choosing not to marry at all or wait until their late 30’s, 40’s or 50’s — how their lives “alone” were not lonely.

    Third, I was talking to a friend about how difficult, how lonely it must be for someone to lose a spouse through death.
    She looked at me with a slight questioning surprise in her eyes when I said that it can often be more painful to be alone in a relationship than lonely without one.

    The question of which being more painful, alone or lonely, is an interesting one.
    In my practice, I see the anguish of couples who are without connection, without love, without companionship while IN a relationship.  I’m absolutely not diminishing the anguish, the pain of losing a beloved spouse or partner.

    I’m simply saying that loss through death can be mourned and the finality, while always difficult, can be acknowledged and accepted.  
    When the relationship is dead and both partners are still alive the grieving never stops, the pain often keeps increasing rather than diminishing.

    For those of us with chronic medical conditions there is often a pervasive sense of being alone.  A thought that no one can really understand, no one can help even if they want to, that we have been abandoned by God or worse yet, being punished . . .

    I think that loneliness has to do more with our state of mind than state of our body or state of our relationships: How we view the world;  How we define our expectations, fantasies, shoulds, coulds and woulds.
    Upon more reflection the most devastating might be  
    being alone AND lonely,
     also a state of mind.
    Powerful thing that noodle-brain.