Tag Archives: turkey

How to cook a turkey FAST and painlessly (for you not the bird)

It’s THAT time of year again for “Cooking with Judy”  Here’s my yearly Thanksgiving post — cuz it’s tooooo good not to be shared!  

img_00131 I have a reputation, among those who know me,  to have an “interesting” sense of humor.  Even though How to Cook A Turkey with 500 degree heat sounds like a joke IT IS NO JOKE.

The turkey comes out brown, beautiful and MOIST.   I’ve done this every year for over three decades and it’s never failed. 
All the people who have tried it do it again and again. . . except for the woman bought a ButterBall Turkey* . . . to see why, keep reading.
 
Ingredients:
10 – 18 pound turkey* and a sense of adventure
 
Directions:
  • Pre Heat oven 500 degrees (this is not a typo)
  • Clean the bird
  • Throw it into a covered container – put on lid or aluminum foil
  • Do not add ANYTHING to the pot and/or the bird.
  • Do NOT baste or look at until time is up  (you will hear burbling, don’t worry, by the time you hear burbling the turkey is dead)
  • Bake (and I do mean BAKE), 7 minutes per pound, unstuffed at 500 degrees FARENHEIT
  • 7 1/2 minutes per pound, stuffed
*WARNING: Do NOT buy any *turkey that has ANYTHING injected under the skin (especially butter!) or the fire department will join you for dinner after you scrub the black soot from your ceiling.
Q & A (I won’t bother you with the Q-part)
  • Yes, it comes out brown and beautiful.
  • No, it is moist and delicious
  • I always put the stuffing in a casserole rather than the turkey – others have stuffed the bird and said it was great.
  • Yes, it will smell like Thanksgiving not like a house-on-fire.
  • No, PETA would not endorse this because it is more humane . . . for the cook
  • Yes! 500 degrees.  It is not a typo
  • Yes, 7 minutes a pound
P.S.  A typical turkey will take a little over 1 hour to bake. The first year I made the turkey this way I had the critter sitting out raw and naked as a J-bird when the guests arrived.
When they found out nothing was in the oven everyone nervously inquired what time we were going to eat.
Made me smile.

 

BROWN-OUT on Thanksgiving

On years we host Thanksgiving I’ve been know to do something a bit , shall we say, unconventional.  This year we invited people who didn’t know each other (and couldn’t understand each other!) so I thought we DEFINITELY needed an “ice Breaker”.

Had my unsuspecting husband buy a painters tarp which I used for a table-cloth.  Everyone had to draw a turkey (I provided a picture) on the cloth with permanent marker.  They could not look at what they were drawing.  To ensure that I covered the markers with a paperplate.

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Did you spot:  Who cheated and looked?  Who was allowed to look?  Which were drawn by men and which by women?  Which turkey got eaten?

The meal was a beige feast.  The only thing that wasn’t brown, beige or shades of red was a token dish of green peas.  (I had planned a salad but didn’t put it out since two healthy dishes was too overwhelming).  turkey, my Brother’s nuclear sweet potatoes (more butter and brown sugar than potatoes), noodle kugle (with apples & almond), rolls, cranberry sauce (with orange zest & juice) stuffing and chicken tamales (hand-made by Mr Albertsons)!

Golden brown, moist, 500 degree baked turkey

Topped it off with more brown & beige – Flan and Banana, Coconut Cream Pie with a layer of chocolate on the crust made by Patricia, a most incredible baker.  (Had the remaining slices as soon as everyone left)

Patricia, Baker Extraordinaire!

A feast of unmentionable proportions of butter, carbohydrates and sugar.

And the fact that one person only understood Spanish, one person only understood English, two people were bilingual and the rest of us could barely communicate in either language made for a LIVELY night of mis-communication and lots of laughing at each other!

The only person who understood EVERYTHING!

FELIZ Thanksgiving a todos!

26 Easy Ways to Reduce Your Stress until New Year’s

Only 1 day till Thanksgiving, 27 days till Chanukah!  31 days till Christmas! 38 days till New Year’s!  Time is running out.  (Actually “time” doesn’t run out it since linear “time” is just a tiny mechanism in our brains that helps us keep our sanity).

Thanksgiving

Instead of having a traditional Thanksgiving meal loaded with high calorie, fat filled, sugar laden food shake things up and start a new tradition:  Here’s some possibilities:

1.  Serve only things that begin with the letter T (for Thanksgiving of course):

  • TWINKIES (for Maureen)
  • Taco
  • Tamales
  • Turnips
  • Tangerines
  • Turtle cheesecake
  • Toast
  • Tofu
  • Tuna fish
  • Trix cereal
  • Tabuli
  • Tiramisu
  • Tripe
  • Tostada
  • Tootsie rolls (for Wendy)
  • Truffles
  • Tortilla chips
  • Tempura
  • TURKEY!

2.  Go straight for the fat filled, sugar laden empty calories  – Start with desert and skip the rest.

3. Do not get together with anyone you’re related to so you can be honest about who and what you are thankful for.

4. Hold a cranberry stomp in a wine barrel and drink the juice.

5. Adopt a turkey, instead of eating one.

6.  Go to bed tonight and don’t get out until January 3, 2012

Christmas:

  1. Instead of buying  a tree watch your friends decorate (and take down) theirs
  2. Convert to Judaism
  3. Sit in the lobby of a 5-star hotel and enjoy EXPENSIVE decorations.
  4. Make dinner potluck, you supply the paper plates and plastic cutlery
  5. Christmas dinner – Start with dessert and forget the rest.
  6. Sit on the beach in Bali
  7. Go to bed on the 23rd and get up on the 3rd
  8. Only buy presents for Jesus.
  9. Put a cover on the outside chimney opening so you don’t have to put out cookies and milk.

Chanukah:

1. Watch your friends decorate (and take down) their Christmas tree.

2. Convert to Christianity

3. Stay in a 5-star hotel for 8 days and nights.

4. Use credit cards instead of gelt

5. Instead of gambling with a dreidle at home go to Vegas

6. Don’t give presents, do good deeds

7. Go to bed on Thanksgiving and wake up on Christmas

8. Bake a potato instead of grating them to death

9. Eat macaroons with Ben & Jerry

New Years:

1. Remember, you are in bed until the 3rd, unless you’re Jewish.

2. If you are Jewish, go back to bed.


God Bless, Peace on Earth & Sanity to all my Friends!

P.S.  I am Thankful for EVERYONE OF YOU!

How to Painlessly Cook a Turkey (at least for you, if not the turkey)

Cooking with Judy
 

I have a reputation, among those who love me,  to have an “interesting” sense of humor.  Even though this sounds like a joke IT IS NO JOKE.
I read about this and tried it.  The turkey comes out brown, beautiful and MOIST.  I’ve done this every year for over a decade and it’s never failed.  (One time I did a 20-plus pounder and parts were not completely cooked so I zapped the parts in the appliance of choice – my microwave)
I’ve shared this with many others and it has failed only once — the woman bought a ButterBall Turkey . . . and has never eaten turkey since. To see why, keep reading.

 


Ingredients:
10 – 18 pound turkey* and a sense of adventure
Directions:
  • Clean the bird
  • Throw it into a covered container – put on lid or aluminum foil
  • Do not add ANYTHING to the pot and/or the bird.
  • PreHeat oven 500 degrees
  • Do NOT baste or look at until time is up  (you will hear burbling, don’t worry, by the time you hear burbling the turkey is dead)
  • Bake (and I do mean BAKE), 7 minutes per pound, unstuffed
  • 7 1/2 minutes per pound, stuffed
WARNING: Do NOT buy any *turkey that has ANYTHING injected under the skin (especially butter!) or the fire department will be there and you will be scrubbing black soot from your ceiling.
Q & A (I won’t bother you with the Q-part)
  • Yes, it comes out brown and beautiful.
  • No, it is moist and delicious
  • I always put the stuffing in a casserole rather than the turkey – others have stuffed the bird and said it was great.
  • Yes, it will smell like Thanksgiving not like a house-on-fire.
  • No, PETA would not endorse this because it is more humane for the cook
  • Yes, 500 degrees.  It is not a typo
  • Yes, 7 minutes a pound
P.S.  The first year I made the turkey this way I had it sitting out raw and naked as a J-bird when the guests arrived.
When they found out nothing was in the oven they nervously inquired what time we were going to eat.
Made me smile.